All through primary school my two best friends were male. We used to play fight with each other and do typical boyish things. This worked great for me as at that age it doesnt matter if youre a bit of a tomboy. Then high school came and I was the only one from my primary school so the teachers instantly paired me up with the popular type of girl. Not a great move. I then found it was really difficult to make friends with other boys as they saw me as a girl and werent interested so I mainly had female friends for the first few years. This was kinda hard as they didnt share the same interests as me but I was able to get by. Now i'm in college. Again im the only one from my high school so I had to go through the whole making friends process again. I really wanted to get to know some of the guys there but again it doesnt seem they are interested. Typical guys my age only make friends with girls who, well, they could possibly end up sleeping with and i'm not male enough physically for them to see me as "one of the guys". I have two friends at college at the moment, ones female and the other is male (although I have some suspicisions my male friend may want to be female). I really enjoy having them as friends but I want to be able to talk to some of the other guys as I really need to build up my confidence. We recently went on a college trip and I felt this was a great opportunity to approach people. The problem was, as I have already mentioned, Im not female enough for them to be interested in me physically (which im quite happy about) but im not male enough for them either. I found it really hard to get into conversations as it seemed like they were trying to avoid talking to me instead of engaging in conversation. I also hated how they seemed really shocked by anything crude that I said. They seemed a little uncomfortable that a girl was acting so boyish and being open about personal things. Its really annoying as I have little confidence and need to feel accepted by other guys but its just not happening.
