Somewhat passing but getting ma'amed more

[Lee]

I don't really pass, but I do from time to time.  However, I've noticed that people tend to call me "ma'am" "miss" or (this is a new one) "hun" more than usual and speaking to me about more typically female topics.  It really bothers me whenever this happens mostly because I get the feeling like they are trying to reassure me that I'm a girl or talk me into being "normal" despite the fact that I'm not feminine.  I've just been frustrated lately that it seems like I'll be read as "that poor butch girl" until I can get on T, which seems frighteningly far off.  Anyways, does anyone else notice people treating them more like their birth gender the further they transition?

[Tamaki]

I'm sorry that's happening to you.

I've noticed that certain women call everyone "hun", male or female, young or old. So it may not always be about be you.

Maybe it's just the area I live in but everyone around here holds doors for everyone. I just look at it as a courtesy.

I'm not being treated more like a guy as I start to transition, I'm being treated more like a gay man. It's making me look at things a little differently.

[Nikolai_S]

Actually, same thing happened to me. Once, I was buying some boxers, and the cashier said "have a nice day, ma'am," so pointedly I had a feeling she was trying to make some sort of comment about my masculine appearance and purchase. And I know I wasn't just imagining it, because my boyfriend was with me and agreed she said it in a fairly nasty manner.

I've gotten the "poor little butch" reassurances too, but they didn't bug me nearly as much as whenever people felt the need to practically shout a title or pronoun at me, as if to remind me of my gender.

[Aikotribs]

gah yeah, but as stated above they seem to do it for 'good' ,meanwhile I just feel like jumping on them jelling 'its SIR' ,but I look to ridicule girly for that even if I don't dress like a woman hah.

[Medusa]

sorry if it is unseemly
does you think about fake beard ?

[Rowan]

Those good intentioned "ma'ams" have, better than anything else, the ability to just destroy my day. But I get it now more than I ever did dressing femme. Of course "miss" was a little less devastating. At least I didn't feel matronly and dowdy on top of not being read as male.

[Maddie Secutura]

I usually avoid pronouns and titles when I see someone I think could be FtM but doesn't pass that well.  I once called someone sir who actually was just butch and I almost got my head ripped off.

[Lee]

Medusa, I could probably grow a beard on my own. (I'm fairly hairy.)  However, I think I would just look like the bearded lady 

[Pinkfluff]

I hold doors for everyone if they're right behind me, regardless of gender, or especially if they're carrying a big object or on crutches or something. People usually either ignore it or say thanks.

As far as pronouns, I certainly know how irritating it can be. Either correct them or tell yourself "that's why they're privileged yet still working at WalMart" 

[James42]

I hate when people who knew you before transition, ask "so you don't see yourself as a pretty girl?" and when I reply no and I don't want to be, I get "oh thats a shame" -_-