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steppin out in public - help please :)

Started by Daszuber, February 10, 2011, 05:33:07 PM

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Daszuber

hello!
Yehaw!
So I am at a point in my life where I am ready to startliving as a woman...part time or something
I told everyone about me (including work) and all went well - I am really lucky in that regard
so time to move forward!
But, I am just looking to see what other people have done in their initial stepping out in public..steps?
Like, my hair is growing, and stuff like that, but what else?
my thoughts are to slowly incorporate womens clothes and styles in my everyday routine, like women's pants/ tops that aren't overly feminine, then slowly fem it up/ get skin toned-ish makeup for starters then start to add more stand out colours etc...
Just wondering how far off the path this might be or what other ways others started their apperance transitions?
while I wait for my appointment with the HRT specialist and voice trainer, I can still do growing  8)
Thanks!

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Caith

If you haven't pierced your ears yet, that's a good start.  Wearing a very light coat of mascara never threw anyone off at my office.   Otherwise, you've covered the most obvious things, wearing ladies' pants and tops that are not overtly feminine.  I've been growing my hair out since last year, and didn't get it cut/trimmed until about a month ago.  As far as anyone at work knows, I'm growing a pony tail.  ;D 

Good luck with your changes!!
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Nigella

Best way forward is to observe what everyday females are wearing. Take mental or physical notes. Find out your body shape, boyish, apple, top heavy, etc. This will help you evaluate what suits your body type and give the best advantage of what you have to look and pass as female. You will have some wardrobe disasters along the way but you learn from then and never buy that kind of thing again. At least you can take them back and buy something else, lol.

have a close female friend that you can go shopping with may be another idea or see if the store you go to has a personal shopper that you can get help from. These are the initial stages of stepping out. keep it understated and everyday style make up. Not over the top that would draw attention to yourself.

Hope that helps

Stardust
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spacial

Best of luck Daszuber.

The opportunity is yours for the taking.

Addition.

I've had a think and read your past posts.

If it were me, and this is just what I would do in your position, I would start by presenting in more feminine clothes, but trousers. Nice shoes, small heels. Some makeup, but not too much. No perfume, to attracting at this stage and you need to blend.

I would avoid skirts, simply because they come across too strongly. There's plenty of time to expand the wardrobe later.

As for padding. Perhaps a little around the buttocks but not too much. Definately around the ggroin. A pad is a good. Make sure that whatever underwear you use is strong enough to hold it in place. You don't want it to move.

Breasts, very slight. Just enough to say they are there. Once starting on hormones, breasts will develop and fill the void.

My objective would be to send the message that I am transisioning, but taking my time. Not looking for attention, but I remain the same person and won't bite your head off.
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Maddie Secutura

I didn't do much wardrobe wise.  I just let my body change underneath my clothes and only gradually adopted a more feminine attire.  I changed by degrees.
My steps and the logic behind them:

Grow out hair.  men's clothes +deep voice + muscles + facial hair + long hair= Socially acceptable (male)
Get laser.  men's clothes + deep voice + muscles + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Go on a diet.  men's clothes + deep voice + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Work on my voice.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice = unusual but acceptable (male)
Go on HRT.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice + curves = socially acceptable (female)
New wardrobe. long hair + higher voice + curves+ women's clothes = socially acceptable (female)

I was a big sissy doing it this way.  I wanted to ruffle as few feathers as I could and well a woman in men's clothes ruffles far fewer feathers than a man in women's.


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Carlita

Quote from: Maddie Secutura on February 10, 2011, 08:56:54 PM
I didn't do much wardrobe wise.  I just let my body change underneath my clothes and only gradually adopted a more feminine attire.  I changed by degrees.
My steps and the logic behind them:

Grow out hair.  men's clothes +deep voice + muscles + facial hair + long hair= Socially acceptable (male)
Get laser.  men's clothes + deep voice + muscles + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Go on a diet.  men's clothes + deep voice + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Work on my voice.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice = unusual but acceptable (male)
Go on HRT.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice + curves = socially acceptable (female)
New wardrobe. long hair + higher voice + curves+ women's clothes = socially acceptable (female)

I was a big sissy doing it this way.  I wanted to ruffle as few feathers as I could and well a woman in men's clothes ruffles far fewer feathers than a man in women's.

That is a really great sequence, and it makes perfect sense. What was the timeline, in terms of the amount of months (?) you spent at each stage?
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annette

Hi Daszuber

I think you thought very well this way.
So, you have the time to get use to your new identity, as well as the others get the time to get used.
Just do anything in your own schedule, no rush no delay, just in the way when you are ready for it.
I'll hope you will have a smooth transition.

hugs
annette
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Rock_chick

Quote from: Maddie Secutura on February 10, 2011, 08:56:54 PM
I didn't do much wardrobe wise.  I just let my body change underneath my clothes and only gradually adopted a more feminine attire.  I changed by degrees.
My steps and the logic behind them:

Grow out hair.  men's clothes +deep voice + muscles + facial hair + long hair= Socially acceptable (male)
Get laser.  men's clothes + deep voice + muscles + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Go on a diet.  men's clothes + deep voice + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Work on my voice.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice = unusual but acceptable (male)
Go on HRT.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice + curves = socially acceptable (female)
New wardrobe. long hair + higher voice + curves+ women's clothes = socially acceptable (female)

I was a big sissy doing it this way.  I wanted to ruffle as few feathers as I could and well a woman in men's clothes ruffles far fewer feathers than a man in women's.

I did a gradual transition as well...pretty much in that order as well. It works, because everyone at work was just so used to the idea that by the time I was fully presenting female no one was shocked or surprised at all.
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AweSAM!

Quote from: Maddie Secutura on February 10, 2011, 08:56:54 PM
I didn't do much wardrobe wise.  I just let my body change underneath my clothes and only gradually adopted a more feminine attire.  I changed by degrees.
My steps and the logic behind them:

Grow out hair.  men's clothes +deep voice + muscles + facial hair + long hair= Socially acceptable (male)
Get laser.  men's clothes + deep voice + muscles + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Go on a diet.  men's clothes + deep voice + long hair = Socially acceptable (male)
Work on my voice.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice = unusual but acceptable (male)
Go on HRT.  men's clothes + long hair + higher voice + curves = socially acceptable (female)
New wardrobe. long hair + higher voice + curves+ women's clothes = socially acceptable (female)

I was a big sissy doing it this way.  I wanted to ruffle as few feathers as I could and well a woman in men's clothes ruffles far fewer feathers than a man in women's.

Sounds kind of similar to what I did, and I completely agree and sympathize. Sissy you say? Not at all, I see that as not rocking the boat.

Maddie Secutura

Quote from: Carlita on February 11, 2011, 05:16:11 AM
That is a really great sequence, and it makes perfect sense. What was the timeline, in terms of the amount of months (?) you spent at each stage?

I didn't do them all in an exact sequential order.  There was a lot of overlap.  I got laser while my hair was growing out.  I knew the facial hair had to be gone before starting HRT though.  I didn't want beard shadow and sweater lumps, that's just asking for trouble.

An ASCII gant chart:

                    2007                    2008                    2009                    2010                    2011
Hair                               ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (haircut march 2010)
Laser                                |||||||||||||||||||(Last treatment summer 2008)
Diet                                                                     ||||||||||||||||||(end of vegetarian kick)
Voice                                                                       ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||(ongoing)
HRT                                                                                    ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||(ongoing)
Wardrobe                                                                                             |||||||||||||||||||(ongoing)

I lost roughly 20 pounds from the diet (170 down to 150) I've pretty much maintained that weight.
That's a very rough approximation of the timeline.  I gathered a few feminine clothing items before 2010 but not enough for a major overhaul.


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Daszuber

sweet! THanks for the help!   :)  very inspirational and I'm totally pumped up!!! yehawwww!!!  ;D
I like your way Maddie ...I notice even with coming out to everyone that I had the mindset of 'not wanting to rock the boat too much', so I slowly told a few people at a time then thought...what the heck, just go for it, then told the whole lot of people, haha so I can see myself doing the same thing with my apperance lol (small steps at first then, this skirt looks too god not to wear!)...but all your imput makes sence to me and I'm sure I'll incorporate every example into my new life so thanks! I appreciate it!
So I guess for me, I did do 1 session of laser (who knew it would hurt?!), growing hair, lost 10lbs, got some clothes...no shoes yet :( so I'll get there soon enough!
YAY!
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