Birthday edition vlog with my son and ex-wife

[Melody Maia]

Special birthday vlog! This edition includes appearances (at their request) by my son and the ex-wife (heretofore known as Trish!) I would like to point out, I did hang out quite a bit with my son Miguel despite the way he makes it sound. lol!

[Amazon D]

dialup is too slow for me so please elaborate what its about please 

[Melody Maia]

My feelings and reception upon returning to Houston as full-time Melody as opposed to four weeks ago when I was pretty much strictly boy-mode. My son chimes in a bit on what we did the last few days and Trish spoke about being a single mom and balancing my new life with our less than accepting friends.

[spacial]

Melody.

Thank you so much for that. It was the best video you've ever done.

So pleased to meet your charming son and Trish. I'm thinking of all the conversations we've had about various issues. To be honest, I always found it confusing why you seemed so calm about things. Now that I've met Trish I can understand why. She's a lovely person.

[japple]

I felt bad for how Trish was treating you but see now that she's a unique and generally supportive person in what she feels like is a tough situation.   I hope you guys can work everything out well.  I couldn't stand being away from that little boy for long.

[Janet_Girl]

Awwww Sweet, Melody.   Miguel is a regular heart-breaker.    Trish sounds like she might well becoming around even if it is slowly.

Sounds like you had fun.

[Just Shelly]

Simply amazing! only 4 weeks and things are going ok.

I could not be happier for you, it sounds like Trish and your son have started to adjust fairly well. I could only hope my children could adjust like yours has. He is so cute and such a Boy!

It sounds like you had a wonderful Birthday.

I do not believe for a minute you could possibly be 40 Oh My!
Shelly

[Melody Maia]

Thanks everyone and I know Trish and Miguel will also be very pleased. I think it is fair to say that Trish and I have had a very unique relationship before and currently. We have continually amazed our therapists with our love and mutual respect even in these trying circumstances. I still trust her implicitly and throughout my coming out and early transition she has not given me reason to doubt her. She really is a lovely person who has tried to be as supportive as she can be (she got me a manicure along with clothes and shoes for my 40th) and in many ways has the characteristics of the type of spouse who ends up staying, but for one. We decided early on that we did not want a celibate marriage and she is simply not attracted to women sexually. She has often mentioned to me that I don't know how much she regrets the fact that she couldn't be attracted to me in that way and I believe her. She may be coming around to the new reality (and so am I), but I think it would be a false hope to think that we could end up together again. I can't give her what she needs anymore and neither can she. Good friends who share a son is what we seem to be now.

Now that isn't to say that things haven't gotten tense from time to time and we haven't hurt each other. We are human and I left her with a pretty gaping wound. That she has sometimes hurt me, perhaps even in retaliation for the hurt she has felt (I can't really say if that is the case) is not a surprise. However, we do our best and carry on and try to be there for each other. We were married for 15 and a half years and that has to count for something.

I think the short clip of my son speaks for itself. He hurts, but he really is a special boy who has a depth of empathy and compassion I have rarely seen in other boys his age. He loves me and I love him and would do anything for him. I am here partly to spare him the pain of how our close-minded community would react. I think the reaction this weekend from those people who called me their friend ("We still love you. This doesn't change how we feel about you." Yeah right!) has borne out that was probably a good call. Oh, and the girls love him! Especially his dimple when he smiles. We are gonna have to keep and eye on that one! lol!

Anyway, thank your for the positive reactions. We just wanted to give voice and form to all the "players" involved. I think it is so easy to forget sometimes that we are talking about real people here. The abstraction of the written form can rob us of that realization.

[Melody Maia]

Simply amazing! only 4 weeks and things are going ok.

I could not be happier for you, it sounds like Trish and your son have started to adjust fairly well. I could only hope my children could adjust like yours has. He is so cute and such a Boy!

It sounds like you had a wonderful Birthday.

I do not believe for a minute you could possibly be 40 Oh My!
Shelly

Shelly, I know the reaction of your children has weighed heavily on your mind and I hope this video has shown you that kids can be pretty flexible. You will always be their father. Your family will change, but it will continue on.

You're right about Miguel, he is definitely a boy! Watching him has been an education in how much I wasn't a boy. He has a way with girls too that is a mystery to me. He once told me, "Daddy, I can make girls do what I want." I told him to only use that power for good. LOL!

Thanks for the compliment on my age. My face may not show it, but my brain sure does. I can lose my train of thought as well as any other 40 year old can!

[Cindy]

Hi Melody,

I spoke to Jackie and she went through the scene as well.

Good luck my friend.

Love  Cindy

[Melody Maia]

@Lance, thank you for making this old girl smile. 

@Cindy, thanks for letting me know about Jackie. She has been a tad difficult to get a hold of! lol!

[Stephanie.Izann]

This is amazing Melody! I think that you couldn't really ask for more under the circumstances and past you have shared with us.  You have to applaud her for trying the way she is.  Like I have said in the past (especially here on SUSANS), look at how long it takes US to figure things out. We've had all that time to reflect and adjust to all these parameters around our own transition. We cannot expect those that have never had an inclination as to what is going on in our heads or even to those that seem to be doing well with the proclamation of our true identities to understand as deeply as we can.

Honestly, I think times are changing for the better, for all of us. It will not happen overnight with this crazy planet we live on, but I do foresee a change similar to what happened to our Gay and Lesbian compatriots around 20 years or so ago. As we educate those around us,combat and eradicate the lack of information about our community it will eventually spread to those we love in our own households.  As for now, I will take what I can, as you are learning to do the same. Your strength is admired.
Peace,
Stephie

[Tamaki]

Thank you Melody and Trish.

I think that this kind of perspective is unfortunately somewhat scarce on Susan's and really valuable. Hearing things from the spouse's point of view is really important and I'm really grateful for the SO's that are here. So is hearing about the big, important and very personal decisions like whether or not a celibate marriage is something you want to stay in. For what it's worth my wife and I decided if it came to that we would still stay together.

Miguel is a real cutie!

[Jacquelyn]

@Cindy, thanks for letting me know about Jackie. She has been a tad difficult to get a hold of! lol!

Hey, hey, hey! I can't help it that I am old and need my sleep. I still don't get how you are constantly going, and going, and going, and going, and well... you get the point. :p

Anyway, I am glad that Miguel and Trish decided to make guests appearances in your vlog, I knew it would be great before I watched it since I was able to say 'hi' to them both while you were there.

Hugs and ZzzZZzzZZzz's your way,
Old Lady Jacquelyn

[Melody Maia]

Hey, hey, hey! I can't help it that I am old and need my sleep. I still don't get how you are constantly going, and going, and going, and going, and well... you get the point. :p

Anyway, I am glad that Miguel and Trish decided to make guests appearances in your vlog, I knew it would be great before I watched it since I was able to say 'hi' to them both while you were there.

Hugs and ZzzZZzzZZzz's your way,
Old Lady Jacquelyn

Going and going and going is the secret to eternal youth dont'cha know!