Your problem in a nutshell is that those of us who have completed the journey do not regard ourselves as transsexual. We are either women or men who happen to have an unusual past. Most MtF's and some FtM's will have had genital correction surgery too, so you may indeed have met one or more of us in the past but certainly with more successful of us, you simply will not know unless we choose to reveal it to you, which some may, but others may not.
Now if instead you opt for a relationship with someone "in transition" then by definition your relationship will change as they make progress. Very few transitioners wish to become stuck in the "middle ground". So if that is what you are looking for, then you are seeking a small minority within a minority - Most of those whom you may meet will wish to complete their journey and once they have done so they will not want you to remind them of what they once were.
But to answer the question at face value, transsexuals are out there in the population. I live in a small town in south west UK. Out of a population of under 10,000 we have at least 5 transpeople that I know of. From long experience of the UK I would say that this is fairly average which means that about 1 in every 2000 people you meet will statistically have a trans background. But we do not have special places we go to. We are not like the porno fetish freaks on the net. We do not have rampant sex, we do not go to special clubs. We are just ORDINARY people, and so you meet us in the same way that you would meet any other man or woman.
