so I'm 24 and I feel like I've probably had depression off and on for about 10 years. A lot of it was gender related, but some of it was just general life stuff. A few months back I started seeing a therapist and I started T a month ago, which is good, I'm happy about that. But now I realize that I've basically been sleepwalking through the last decade of my life, and I feel like I've dug myself into a really deep hole of loneliness and hopelessness.
i did graduate from college, but I just sort of was like a zombie while i was there. I went to class most of the time, got average grades, and barely spoke to anyone the whole time. then I moved back to my hometown, where there's barely any job opportunities. I'd like to move somewhere else where i could get a better job, but am terrified of doing that alone. I'd also like to go to graduate school, but 99% of programs require that you got good grades as an undergrad and have letters of recommendation from professors. I doubt most of my professors even remember me, and if they do they probably remember me being a crappy student.
I felt like I was making big steps forward finding a therapist and starting T, but now I just feel stuck, like I don't know what to do next.
anyway, i hope this makes sense and isn't just some incoherent rambling...
