Sent email to my mother.. feeling helpless

[PiperEden]

So... in the past few days I've been overwhelmed with feelings of my dysphoria and have been greatly inspired by all of my brothers and sisters here! Also I've came out to several of my friends who have been so amazing and understanding! With all of this rush of emotion, I wanted to let my mother know! And I also, admittedly in vain, would love for my mother to assist in my transition. Yeah, ok. This is a lot of typing to say, that I emailed her on facebook and told her that I wasn't gay like she thought and I was worried she wouldn't understand. and she said this

"well, please tell me, if you can't talk about it. tell me on here . I love you son. I love you more than you will ever know!!!"

Now, after telling her everything, she hasn't responded, and I have seen her in person, just today (I live with my grandmother with my parents living next door) she acted as if nothing has changed. She doesn't want me to be this way I know and I am going to have to live with that and figure out how to do my transition alone..

Money is my biggest issue now. I really want to quit school (going to college) so I can get a full time job and just get things started, because frankly, everything is becoming too much and I feel like if I don't start transitioning soon. I'm going to be VERY miserable. but I'm sure all of you can probably relate! <3

I'm sorry I seem so negative and blah.. I'm feeling defeated right now. :/ Thank you all for reading! It means the world to me! 

[hkgurl1480]

Hi Piper

Well it is early days yet for your mum, give her a little time.  You have been dealing with this for a while, but it is brand new to her.  She may be more supportive when she sees that you are serious about dealing with the issue.
One way to do that immediately if you aren't already is seeing a therapist who specialises in gender issues.  They will also be able to help you cope when everything becomes too much. 
Take your time, dont rush into anything without some careful planning. At this early stage baby steps are usually better then giant leaps.

Good luck on your journey.

Hugs
Shelly

[spacial]

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but don't give up your education.

That is the more importat investment you'll ever make.

As for your mom, Shelly said it best.

[PiperEden]

Hi Piper

Well it is early days yet for your mum, give her a little time.  You have been dealing with this for a while, but it is brand new to her.  She may be more supportive when she sees that you are serious about dealing with the issue.
One way to do that immediately if you aren't already is seeing a therapist who specialises in gender issues.  They will also be able to help you cope when everything becomes too much. 
Take your time, dont rush into anything without some careful planning. At this early stage baby steps are usually better then giant leaps.

Good luck on your journey.

Hugs
Shelly

Thanks much Shelly! I think in these extreme moments things jumble together in my brain and I want to try to fix them all at once... you are right about the baby steps!

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but don't give up your education.

That is the more importat investment you'll ever make.

As for your mom, Shelly said it best.

I understand what you mean Spacial, it's unlikely I will quit school.. for now! And if I did, I would always go back eventually! thank you much for the advice!

[Melody Maia]

Some schools have therapists that can help and I've even seen some that have student health plans that cover transgender issues. Both of these might actually make your transition cheaper if you stay in school to say nothing of the generally more accepting atmosphere many find at a university over the "real" world. If you get that far after seeing a therapist, once you start on HRT, you will most likely find your GID dimished and your transition will have truly started in a physical sense.