New and confused

[RachelH]

 Hi all,
Well when I say new, I mean to hormones definitely not to been TS, and I have been taking them for a week. I wanted to ask a few things of advice really.

Firstly I'm 29 living in the UK. Just broke up with my long term girlfriend, this triggered me into starting some sort of transition. Wish I had the courage to have done something when I first confronted a mirror and cried when I was 4  . Sadly, I repressed the problem, I think mainly as I had an older brother who was very masculine in the way he acted, so I felt I had to conform. Now I feel like I'm at the cross roads of my life and stumbling forward by pure need.

I think the hormones are affecting me really fast, but I'm also losing weight quickly at the same time, so causing some confusing results. Within a few days my skin was softer, and I had and still have the skin care regime of a man, i.e. none! have lost the weight on my waist and I already had fairly broad hips; my ex used to insult me with this in arguments, if only she knew that I actually liked them :p  I have a female shape tummy now and I have lost a lot of tone on my abdominal muscles and my arms. My face has become much more feminine and I don't need to shave every day now. I was chubby to begin with and my boobs haven't lost any of the fat tissue, so they are reasonably pronounced but not a good shape yet, the nipples are a few mm wider and so is the areola. I also seem to have picked up a little bit more pitch in my vocal range. Is this normal for just one week's use, or do you think some of it might be psychosomatic?

I wanted to "try" hormones to assess whether I could eventually go stealth, and slightly worried as I wanted a bit of time to sort my life out. I only came out to my best friend 5 days ago and am petrified that people will see the changes before I have time to accept them myself. I have no doubt that what I'm doing is right. I have never felt so relaxed and serene. I have been bubbling full of joy and had big waves of this, but again I'm frightened that I will be over emotional in front of people if something bad happens!

Many thanks
Rachel x

[Kaelleria]

A week is hardly enough time to see any real changes. Even if you're really sensitive to E, it would still be months before you see any noticeable changes.

Personally, I didn't go full time for a good 8 months after I started hormones. Towards the end I just had to spend on time hiding things, but nonetheless it was doable.

Honestly, "trying hormones" especially without medical supervision is a bad idea. They are extremely powerful and shouldn't be taken lightly.

[RachelH]

I have not taken this lightly, I'm just gaining the confidence to do things right. I've got 25 years of repression to break through! The professional help is booked for Friday, and again it's admitting it to someone else that is worrying. I have a foot out of the closet but I'm still hiding!
As for the sensitivity I know that the effects take months, but I'm still concerned that some noticeable things have happened, and I 'm trying to figure out to what degree I'm been affected. Why do you think I'm confused about how the weight is getting lost in the "right" places"?!

[MarinaM]

Your weight loss could be attributed to stress and active anxiety. It will eat you  faster than mono. I've had all of that.

I remember my father losing 100 pounds in 4 months, getting an ulcer, and going from oak tree to gangly alien as he tried to cope with the guilt of cheating on (and leaving) my mother.

Shouldn't be the hormones. Are you having stomach pains? Better get checked out if you're concerned.

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Rachel,

Welcome to our little family. Over 5500 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

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Hugs and Love,
Janet
   

[Jillieann Rose]

Hello Rachel,
It is good to meet you. Don't worry about people noticing this early.
I don't agree completely with Kaelleria some here at Susan's have seen noticeable change after 4 months.
But on the average 8 month to a year before changes are able to be seen.

Is this normal for just one week's use, or do you think some of it might be psychosomatic?

I say no to both. You just feel better and are anxious to see changes.
Welcome to Susan's Rachel,
Jillieann

[Maegan]

Hi Rachel!
Welcome to Susans. Wow, 1 week and already changes? I am in my third month now and only starting to see some changes happening now. You lucky girl!
"Trying" hormones just to see what happens has never been a good idea. There really are some serious health risks involved. Please, only use them under medical supervision.
Anyway, I wish you the best in finding the real and true you. That can normally be the hardest and most difficult obstacle to overcome. Once you have accepted who you really are, it makes life easier.

Hugs

Maegan

[melts]

I think there are some of us that are particularly receptive to E and it isn't psychological. I know in my own case my skin became softer within a matter of 4 or 5 days, and my nipples became sore within a week of starting therapy. To give you some perspective, I was 41 years of age and per the popular experience I shouldn't be so receptive for my age but I am. I've got genes that make me look as though I'm about 30. In my first 6 weeks on estro and spiro I shed 30 lbs on a low-carb regimen and then purposely gained 5 lbs back -- it went straight to my butt instead of my waist -- which was wonderful. At 2 months every time I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror I was taken aback by the changes in my face. I'm at 5 months and I've had several people tell me I look different. I tease them and ask them what they think it is and they say "I don't know--you just have a glow" or something like that -- say I look more healthy -- and I'm only recently out to 2 people with their own gender stuff (who nailed it I was on E). Right now I'm shedding a ton of muscle. Different bodies do different things. Feel lucky if you have my experience. So far it's been a little magical.

[wannalivethetruth]

You had me untill you said a week lol. I dont think you are really seeing much...maybe just...imagining it? Who knows!? You lucky if so! hugs//