Why is it that a lot of transpeople are either rather into their gender roles?

[kimberrrly]

It seems to me that, in order to be taken seriously by the general public, trans people have to conform to the gender stereotypes of their target sex.  Otherwise it's like, "How can you be trans?  You're too feminine, you don't act like a boy" or whatever.

You all make very good points...
If I was a normal girl... I would not have to prove anything... and I would probably wear more masculine clothes because I could get away with them....Masculine clothes accent masculinity.... and that is something you cant always get away with as a M2F. while well chosen feminine clothes hide masculine features of the body.

Also I have a very feminine character, sensitive etc, it always saddens me when people think I wear clothes to be a stereotype instead of myself...

I am always just me...
just like anyone else...
with the difference that I always seem to have to explain why I act a certain way or wear certain clothes...

No normal woman gets these kind of questions....

I am just trying to be who I really am, as hard as I can....and it just does not all come naturally for me so you make different choices in clothes. Transwoman always seem to have to prove over and over again that they are woman... and no matter what you do, there will always be someone thinking you are going about it the wrong way,
and that is only because they dont understand.

Birgitta

[LivingInGrey]

My suggestion, is to sit around naked. No makeup, no nothing, no one around but yourself. And THEN ask yourself how you feel. Do you feel feminine (or masculine for ftm)? Or do you NEED all those "uniform extra's" in order to make you feel that way?

I think this right here as been one of the things that has weighed so heavily on my mind when considering to transition or not to. I'll admit that I have had my days where I've gotten all dressed up and I've even spent a lot of time with fake breasts when I'm at home cleaning or what ever. But in the end I don't feel I have to be like that every day. I'm sitting here right now in jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie smoking a cigarette. I haven't shaved in a few days and my hair is just tied back in a tail. I don't feel any different now then I would be if I spent all morning cleaning myself up and wearing different clothes.

I would love nothing more then to have been born a female. But it's daunting to think about how much change I would have to make, not only to my body but to my social environment in order to feel comfortable in my own skin, let alone be able to feel comfortable leaving my house and being viewed and accepted by others in society as a woman.

I understand the draw some people feel for making themselves as comfortable as possible. I know a lot of cis women that wont even answer the door unless they feel comfortable in how they look (my mother is one of them). For myself, I could see insecurity (not saying anyone who works hard at looking the role is insecure) being one of the things that would drive me to wear makeup every day and making sure I have some borderline obsessively (just shy of explosively) cute purse or shirt on to help drive the image into people's minds on how I view myself. I don't think I would ever be able to just get out of bed, rake a brush through my hair and leave the house to be able to hit the first woman's public restroom I could find and not be able to lose my nerve to barge right in to use it.

Could I transition and leave the house wearing jeans, a shirt and shoes meant for women (granted at least some kind of purse would be a must)? I just couldn't say. That would all depend on how well the transition went.