Do you have/had doubts about transition?

[Medusa]

Hi I was today at psychologist, and we come to a conclusion that I'm 90% sure (to begin live), but i still have some doubts, or maybe I'm just too scared to come out of shell.

So I want to ask
Do you have/had also doubts about transition?
And do you ever regret that?

[Janet_Girl]

20 plus years ago, I backed out of transition.  And if I hadn't I could have been post-op by now.  But I took another 20 years to get here.

Now I don't have the money to go forward.  My advise is jump in with both feet.  Do not wait till your life is almost over.

[RachelH]

I'm only just beginning as well. I have so many doubts and they are consuming everything. But one thing is also true; I have never been able to fully suppress the GID that I have. Even when I was in the happiest, and most blissful parts of my relationship with the girl who I nearly married etc it was there undermining who I was pretending to be. I wish I had the courage to face up to the girls who I came out to 10 years ago when at uni and said to hell with what you think. That is 10 years that I feel I have wasted and I bitterly resent it.

[VeryGnawty]

Doubt is good.  It means you are still using your head, and not pure desperation.

[cynthialee]

I had a ton of doubt. Then I tried HRT to confirm GID.
The hormones brought with them a world of comfort and self awareness.

Like Janet I had an abortive attempt at transition 20 years ago. Took me 19 years to try and start again.
Do it now.

[Emmanuelle]

Doubt rocks... sadly enough.

I came back from my psy a month ago and was still in doubt. He did give me a letter to give to the endocrinologist and it took me a couple of hours before it got to me: it's a go-ahead. I'm just trying to say: doubt makes sure you keep on top of things. However, at a certain point the art becomes one of letting go. It's ok to jump, it's ok to give it your best. You deserve it. Don't forget: if GID weren't a relevant factor to you (in some form or other), it would never have crossed your mind.

Doesn't take the doubt away, but it does give it a place (at least for me it does)

[findingreason]

I've had a ton of doubt too; it was what stopped me from doing this sooner. Still have it, but as each day passes I see more and more this is what I need to do, I can't not live as a girl. Actually really becoming impatient for my HRT appointment. Doubt is good though, as it shows your thinking things through, and taking this seriously. It's a sign of growth and progress, after all what big part of your life doesn't come with it at some point?

[cute becky]

im 33 and ready to go all in.
i am prepared to put my life in the hands of the nhs because  no one wants to employ a cross dresser.
personal feelings and stereo typical discrimination than profesionlity ?
yeah yeah yeah..... we adopt a non discriminable policy....
you adopt it but not implement it...
you signed and filed the document to meet the requirement ...
are we still being shunted .
i read somewhere that you my be required to turn into a boy again to hopefully improve your chances of a job.
so what,,, im male to female..
that dose not make me incapable.
that dose not make me sick .
that makes me a girl.
mental health is in everyone of us.
when someone moves into a new area..... hey are talk of the on for months.
then the lapping and whispers stop.
people then move in for a quick put on the spot question and gone.
the staring and body language and hissing starts.
many accept and welcome cross dressers and many would show there disapproval given the right time and location.
it goes to show how a member of the public can turn primal at the sheer disapproval of some passer bye and turn sick on someone with there self belief of justice .
i feel it is not the cross dresser who has the problem but is given the issues to deal with from some one else.
is it really for the cross dresser to explain him or herself to educate someone .
explain why your a boy.
explain why your a girl.
why do i still feel primitive in 2011 ?
250mph cars.... supersonic plains... space travel .... and that beautiful saying...
gender on the edge of a knife.

just walk on bye and have an amassing life.





 

[GinaDouglas]

No doubts since the first couple of months.  3.5 years now.  Even with my GF trying to create doubt.

[blackMamba]

It took me several years before I could even admit it to a therapist!  I trusted no one with my secret...plenty of doubt, sure.  But since I came out, I have no regrets whatsoever.  There are still some lingering issues, mainly family acceptance, but I did what was right for me.

But that is me, and you are you.  There is some regret in the community, and people don't always like to talk about it.  Sometimes people waffle back and forth, transition, get scared, and de-transition; or decide maybe they are content by not going full-time, that's OK.  I don't know where you are at in your life, but my advice is to test the waters.  Go out in public as you the person you want to be.  Once you gain more confidence in who you are, you will know what is right for you. 

[Logan1986]

I absolutely did. I went to a support group for years before coming out to family friends. I think doubt is a good thing. When you reach a point where you decide one way or another at least you know you gave it as much thought and consideration that you possibly could.
rush slowly.

[wheat thins are delicious]

It's normal to have a little doubt when making any decision of such a caliber as this. 

[carolinejeo]

Yes, it is normal and it is good to have self reflection on these profound matters.

I only finally transitioned on my third attempt.

However, that said, I often regret not carrying through my first attempt when I was young.

Caroline

[heatherrose]

There come doubts with every single new, personally untraveled avenue.
It would indicate an ill mind, if one were to barrel along and
not have doubts as to timing and/or modus operandis along this path.
I have daily doubts, wondering if I am handling things as I should
and I realize regret over things I know I have royally screwed up but
doubts about whether or not I should have transitioned?  NO

I too reget having not transitioned earlier in life but it was
not the right time in my life path, there were things that
I needed to learn about myself and needed to do.

It is damn easy to sit here and monday morning quarterback my own past.
If I had been able to transition earlier on, my past would definately have been
different but would it have been any better or would it have been alot worse?
It is most likely that I would still sit and wonder how life
would have been different had I not transitioned early in life.

[Debra]

Everyone has doubts. Sometimes you have to take little steps and keep checking in with yourself to make sure you feel good about the changes that happen along the way.

[annette]

Hi Medusa

From the beginning of transition I had doubts.
But I think most doubts were based on fears, what kind of life will I have, will I ever pass, shall I lose friends or relatives.
On the other hand I knew deep down inside that it was something I had to do, there was no escape from it.

As time goes by I became more selfconvidenced about who I was and I was presenting myself on the way I wanted and nobody ever read me.

The fears dissapear and what left was a life where I was very happy in the way I was.

I hope this will give you some comfort while you're doubting.

love
annette

[JenniL]

Doubts will pop up from time to time. For me it happened alot before I started my journey. It is pretty much the same as everyone else. Fears of acceptance. Will my friends still be my friends? Will my family still love me? Most importantly will I be able to maintain my job.

I am glad I have doubts from time to time. It doesnt happen as often now. But it can allow one to reflect on themselves. Everytime I have a moment of doubt and reflect on myself I always see I am a much happier and productive person being a woman despite the road blocks I come across. Essentially I am enjoying my life finally

Jennifer

[japple]

It'd be rare to not have doubts.

Think of it this way, you've had 100% doubt the entire time you lived as your birth gender.  You must have thought about transition but got it out of your head.  Then you started chipping away at that doubt. 

You say that you are 90% sure..that's a long way way from being 0% sure.  You've chipped away..10% sure, 20% sure, 50% sure.  That final 10% is the hardest bit.

I think you need to work hard to chip away at doubt or let it erode with age.  Erosion takes a much longer time.  So just beat the hell out of that 10% and take care of yourself now or wait 10 years for that 10% to go away.  A good therapist will help, they'll make you do some hard labor.

[Sly]

I haven't started any physical transition yet.  I really don't see myself ever wanting to go back, but I haven't been out for that long and I don't want to rush into anything I can't change.  So I guess I have some doubt, not about my current feelings because right now I feel like I definitely want to transition, but I'm a little afraid of changing my mind.  But the fact that thinking about not transitioning scares me makes me pretty sure that it's the right thing...  I'm just not ready to make a permanent decision yet.

[Sarah B]

Once I knew I was a female. I never hesitated, never had any doubts. In addition,  never transitioned or suffered from GID.  I just did everything so that I could function as a normal female in society and 22 years later, I have never ever regretted what I have done.

If you have any doubts seek professional help.

Kind regards
Sarah B