I feel the need to escape my family

[ZeldaHeart]

Hi everyone.  I'm 18 years old, 8 months on hormones, and have been having a LOT of mood swings.  For the past few months, I've had this intense longing to escape my family because I know they will always see me as a male; and to start a new life where barely anyone will know and everyone will just think of me as a young woman.  My dad still calls me "brother" and "man" and "sir" and overall just makes me feel like a male.  That's not me.  Is this normal and do any of you have this or something similar? 

[Karla]

ZeldaHeart, may I ask if you're out to your immediate family??

Maybe I'm not exactly in the same situation as you are but, well not long ago I escaped the place I was living in and moved far enough from my old life but it wasn't my family I was escaping it was the place and the people and the local culture.

But I still have some family here which I'm not out to, and although I'm 9 months into hormones they seem to be doing their best to (pretend?) not to notice and just ignore than big pink elephant floating around.. and I get kind of the same treatment you do from your dad but much milder I suppose.

It used to hurt more but now that I know who I am I've developed thicker skin to deal with it.

[ZeldaHeart]

Karla, I am out to my family.  I've been out to them for four years, but we don't talk about it too much.  I was very scared to go through puberty at 14, and asked my mom if I could get a castration, and ended up telling her that I was transgendered, but just started hormones on my 18th birthday with my parents' "support."  I feel that my family really ties me to my original gender at birth, and just need to escape that  

That's nice you developed a thicker skin.  Thick skin helps in a lot of situations, but hormones certainly increase emotional sensitivity.

[JessicaR]

  I've been living full time for almost 2 years and I've been out to my family for almost 3. Most of my extended family simply doesn't associate with me anymore and things are always tense with the ones that do. My therapist had a good explanation for why this type of thing happens.. She said that people see you as a continuum; those that have known you all your life will never be able to "forget" your male identity and tend to treat you accordingly. To a cisgender, heteronormative person, you might as well tell them that you've always felt like a frog and now you want to be treated as a frog.... They just don't get it.
  I found that the best way to deal with it is by reaching out to the friends and family that DO understand and want to help. We all need someone to share our accomplishments with during transition; you probably know who those people are already. Work on strengthening your relationship with them and be candid about how you're feeling. I have a best g-girlfriend who I can always count on. A Trans support group is absolutely essential! Even if you have to travel to get there, believe me when I tell you that it's worth your time. There's nothing that matches sitting with a roomful of people just like you.
  I know exactly how you feel.... If I didn't have children, I would seriously consider moving away and never seeing most of my family again.  I didn't feel so strongly about it when I began but, over 6 years of transition, I've developed a apathetic attitude with my family. It is important to remember that this is a transition for everyone around you and you do have to give them lots of time to get used to seeing you differently...it takes years. There's a difference, however, between the ones that try and the ones that won't. The ones that won't understand probably never will so........ screw'em :-) They're not worth your time.