why, life? why?

[jonjon]

Why was i cursed with a stupid female body?

I can get everything right except my god damn voice. I swear I woke up yesterday, learnt to sort my hair out and viola, one hot guy comin atcha... until i open my gob and then people start staring and looking at me funny.

I dont get to see my counsellor until the 23rd this month and i doubt she'll just put me on T just like that if i ask. I dont think things work like that, do they?

[Dennis]

Your hair does look great. Therapists vary with how fast they're willing to recommend T. One thing this process does teach you is patience, whether you want to learn it or not.
Dennis

[jonjon]

do you have to use that word? Patience? lol Something i've never been good at.

Thing is, i dont have anyone to tell me how male i sound when i try... I only have myself and i know for a fact what your ears hear you sound like is nothing at all like what you really sound.

[Brianna]

Wishy,

There is nothing in your pic I see that testosterone won't fix. Ditto for voice. It's amazing what HRT does.

Bri

[Susan]

There is nothing in your pic I see that testosterone won't fix. Ditto for voice. It's amazing what HRT does.

For FTM at least I and almost every other mtf wish it did something with MTF's voice

[Melissa]

There is nothing in your pic I see that testosterone won't fix. Ditto for voice. It's amazing what HRT does.

For FTM at least I and almost every other mtf wish it did something with MTF's voice

Yes, but we do have the advantage in that we can work on the voice prior to hormones.  Truly though, you can get a good passable voice with some work at it.

Melissa

[ConfusedMichelle]

Wishy, love the new pic. You are very handsome. You are lucky that you can wear eyeliner and still look so masculine too. Gorgeous eyes.

Hey, think of it this way. At least you have a therapist? I have yet to find one lol.

As for the voice, I think my appearance is less masculine than my voice. I can sound like a male when I try. I was on the phone the other night with someone, testing out my male voice, and the next morning my mom asked "What guy was over here last night? He was being loud." Haha  I even fooled my own mom. If you will sing along with songs sung by low male voices, that realllllly helps.

Let me know if you need more help.

[mikke]

Talking is a really big struggle for me, too. I spent about 2 hours recording and re-recording my answering machine message until I thought it sufficiently masculine to save. I can sing tenor (lots of practice with singing the low part of Simon & Garfunkel) now, but I just can't get my voice to sound masculine when I'm talking. It's very frusterating, so I know where you're coming from. It's something I'm very aware of and very self-conscious of. Luckily that's supposed to be one of the first things to change with T...

[Dennis]

Yeah the voice usually is one of the first things to change. Then you get 6 months to a year of sounding like a teenager, cracks and all. But it's sure a relief when it starts to change. I still get comments from people who knew me before that they can't believe how low my voice got.

The facial hair, for me, is taking forever though. Ah well, clean cut is not a bad look.

Dennis

[zombiesarepeaceful]

yeah..i work fast food where i have to talk to customers and i always cringe at the sound of my own voice..ive never had trouble passing, even before i was trying to, but i still get overly critical of myself and think im not passing

[jonjon]

yeah..i work fast food where i have to talk to customers and i always cringe at the sound of my own voice..ive never had trouble passing, even before i was trying to, but i still get overly critical of myself and think im not passing

I'm the same. I always had people ask me before i even discovered all this what gender i am. I always felt very repulsed to say female. But i've not had one single person ask since. They just automaticly assume i'm either one or the other. I get put off a lot when other guys call me 'love', but i saw another guy call a male bus driver that the other day lol so it cant just be me lol

[Underground Panther]

Damn You look so much like my buddy Ian, it's scary.. He is a natural born guy too.http://www.myspace.com/mr_ibis
Good to see another Goth. And don't dispair. Keep shrink  hunting and you will find someone willing to stopp the headgames  to give you hormones.  I told my therapist this:  I said you could blame my transgenderness on my past abuse,you could try to change my mind as if you could persuadfe me, other therapists have tried and failed to. And I am sure you will fail too. I have been here before you know.Than I listed EVERY argument of why I might not be transgender I have heard out of therapists over time. Than I said we could go round and round with these chicken /egg arguments until the end of time. I want a male chest reconstruction "permission letter" from you.

And Do you want to waste both our time with chicken/egg arguments  as to why you think  I am in conflict with my gender or not.Or you could just help me and not try to change my mind and force me to"accept" this horrific body I never wanted..Are you scared of "liability"? Well I can tell you this choice is 100% MY responsibility. I will sign a paper that says this so you won't be liable. I will waive you from any  liability for MY choice. I know I will live with the results forever.I know.. What gets me frustrated  with this mess is when a shrink  can't deal with MY gender issues and let me be myself and be different than himself so he stalls and brings up these same old arguments. Countertransferance happens and I have seen plenty of it. Lets not go there AGAIN.  So  are you gonna give me the same old hassles or not?   I have been through enough dissection of my choices and Therapists doing the same thing with me that all the other shrinks have done  and expecting a different results.. That is well..stupid.. So, you gonna write my note?  If not I will find someone else who's not hung up on controlling other's gender identities  who will.

He wrote the note that day.

[Kismet]

Got a dilemma, personally. I want a deeper voice, but... I don't mean to blow my own horn but, I have a singing voice. A very nice one, according to many sources.
I'd lose that, wouldn't I?

[Brianna]

Got a dilemma, personally. I want a deeper voice, but... I don't mean to blow my own horn but, I have a singing voice. A very nice one, according to many sources.
I'd lose that, wouldn't I?

Yup yup...

La unica se llama Brilala

[mikke]

But I'll bet with practice you can get it back (just in a nice low range). I've been told that I have a nice singing voice but for about 2 years I've been practicing to get my voice down to at least a low tenor. It doesn't sound nearly as nice (I can't harmonize as well, and if I go too low my voice cracks) but I think I can get it with practice. Lots and lots of singing in my car. 

[Ricki]

Oh Crap...
wishy i am unchanged (physically) but if i was you would be my boyfriend
DEFINATELY!.............
I know you are worrying about things but stay the course cause i think you are a boy cutie!  and you have a lot to offer, you'll see!
Woof woof hunny loves you too!
Ricki
p.s. her love is free and unabandoned, but feeding her right now costs a fortune so i do not advice one trying to adopt her from me, hehe...

[jonjon]

Oh Crap...
wishy i am unchanged (physically) but if i was you would be my boyfriend
DEFINATELY!.............
I know you are worrying about things but stay the course cause i think you are a boy cutie!  and you have a lot to offer, you'll see!
Woof woof hunny loves you too!
Ricki
p.s. her love is free and unabandoned, but feeding her right now costs a fortune so i do not advice one trying to adopt her from me, hehe...

aw, Ricki, so cute yourself ^_^

I'm just impatient and need things to happen >_> And i would never take your beautiful dog off you (that her in the pic?) She is adorable!!!

[Dennis]

Got a dilemma, personally. I want a deeper voice, but... I don't mean to blow my own horn but, I have a singing voice. A very nice one, according to many sources.
I'd lose that, wouldn't I?

Nope. I sing in a high-end jazz group, bass. It took a while and my range is still less than it was before. I had almost four octaves of range before my voice changed. Now, I'm working on my falsetto, but it's not that stable yet. The rest of my range is the same as the other basses/baritones and quality is good enough that I auditioned for and performed a solo at our last performance.

When my voice first started changing, it was a struggle to stay on note. I think my effective range was about an octave. Anytime I strayed above that range, I'd do what sounded like involuntary yodelling. I think regular guys must go through that too. Lots of practice and some time and my range expanded to a normal bass range.

So don't worry, you'll have to re-learn it, but you can keep the singing voice. And the bonus is that there are fewer guys who can sing, so the competition's less. I would never have made the audition for my singing group if I'd had to audition as a female.

Dennis

[ConfusedMichelle]

I was SO blessed with a naturally, very low voice. All I have to do to pass is talk a tiny bit lower than normal and BAM. It's pretty awesome.

As for singing, I sound better with a female voice. As a male, it sounds just okay...unless I'm singing along with my guitar 

[Arias]

I just try not to talk, though hard at a grocery store. When not talking doesn't cut it for me, I talk quieter. My brother says that with time and dedication I might be able to change it myself enough to talk naturally and be passable, but I don't know if I could. He says it would be better than seeing me with facial hair, which I tend to agree with.