Cat's out of the bag.

[Ryno]

My aunt recently found out about me. (She's a really awesome lady who says out of five nieces and nephews, I'm her favourite. She says she'd always love me no matter what unless I murder someone... Which I'm sure won't ever happen.) Anyway, after a night of sobbing and trying to call me on my cell while I was at work, she finally got a hold of me and we talked it out. She's cool with it, she's just not emotionally ready to call my Ryan yet. That's all fine and dandy.

She calls my dad thinking he knows about me. (I told her he didn't but she has a horrible memory.) She called me last night lecturing me about this and that and how she's sorry but it's not really her fault and blah blah blah.

I get a call from daddy this morning. He's picking me up from my girlfriend's at 4 today. We need to talk, he says.

And I'm ->-bleeped-<-ting myself :S I always knew I'd have to tell him. But not like this. My stomach's doing cartwheels. And I hate cartwheels...

So I guess tonight's the night. I'm starting testosterone, hopefully, this April. I figured I'd be telling him soon but ugh. I thought I'd have a chance to actually plan it out.

Anyway, I'm really nervous. Thought I'd post on here since it seems to help relieve anxiety. I'll post later tonight to say how it goes... Wish me luck? :s

[spacial]

Good luck Ryan.

Stay cool and focused.

[Andy]

Good luck, bro.

"...some have greatness thrust upon them..."

[Ryno]

Okay... So, my dad picked me up yesterday. I sat in the car for an awkward, silent twenty minutes to his house. We got out and as soon as we were in the kitchen he told me to sit down. Right away he goes into this lecture about how my being trans isn't just about me but it affects him and everyone else and I should have maintained more discretion (in other words, not come out) because it poses a risk to his relationship with a woman he met only several months after my mother died.

(Sorry for the run-on, my English teacher would smack me for that one.)

We screamed at each other for about ten minutes, until I opened the door, yelled that I don't need him, and slammed it shut without looking back. I walked an hour an a half back to my girlfriend's, then called him to apologize. (Fresh air and exercise work wonders on a bad temper.)

He apologized too, and told me that he still cares about me but he'll always see me as his daughter.

So. I guess... that's good :/ in a way. I want nothing more than to be a son to him, but we can't have everything I guess. I'm my lesbian girlfriend's boyfriend, which I think counts for a lot. And some day I'll be my children's father. And my father may some day come to see me as a son, especially since I'll be growing a beard and my voice will be deepening pretty soon...

Anyway. There's my coming out story. Kind of bitterwsweet I guess, but it could have gone worse...

[Lee]

Even if it could have been worse, that's still rough.  I hope things will settle down some for you.
It seems like there are a lot of people with "this isn't about you, it's about me" coming from family members.  Just remember that it's your life and nobody else's.

[Cindy]

Even if it could have been worse, that's still rough.  I hope things will settle down some for you.
It seems like there are a lot of people with "this isn't about you, it's about me" coming from family members.  Just remember that it's your life and nobody else's.

That's very true. There seems to be quite a few family members, even quite distant ones, who need to protect their reputation while you  just suffer.

Cindy

[Rock_chick]

He apologized too, and told me that he still cares about me but he'll always see me as his daughter.

Strangely enough, as negative as this may feel right now, it's actually quite positive. Basically give him time and I would be very surprised if he didn't come round eventually.

[Ryno]

Strangely enough, as negative as this may feel right now, it's actually quite positive. Basically give him time and I would be very surprised if he didn't come round eventually.

I've actually started feeling very confident about this since we had the argument. He insisted he'll always see me as his daughter but once I'm on T, once I prove myself to be the man I believe I am, he may see me as his son. I've made a lot of progress since coming out, done a lot of growing up, and it's definintely making me feel more like a man. Not saying I couldn't do any of it as a woman. I guess I feel less like a boy now, as opposed to feeling less like a woman. I never was a woman.

But I understand that my father exists outside of this reality. He doesn't see what's inside my mind and heart, all he sees is the outer shell - the girl I always looked like. While I always identified more as a boy, he always identified me as a girl... But you're right Helena, I think he'll come around. I just need to prove myself to him.