People come out for you. A letter from my aunt.

[MarinaM]

I know that many in our situation are absolutely horrified at the prospect of people finding out about them without it being their doing, and I was hoping that somehow this experience of mine would help make it appear to be less of an earth shattering occurrence.

My Aunt, who is like a super woman fraulein, a woman that I have looked up to my entire life, just sent this e-mail to me today after having a discussion that I did not know about with my mother concerning us (my wife and I):

First of all, I am not going to insult either of you with cliches like "I can only imagine how hard this is for both of you" - the truth is, I don't have a clue how difficult this must be for you both - the impact, consequences, danger, change in your lives right now is unfathomable for me.  That said, I want you to know that I love you both with all my heart.  Of all my sister's children I feel the most connected to you.

Ryan-
***** told me that you were worried about disappointing me.  As long as you are looking into your soul, asking yourself the hard questions, and staying true to yourself - you will never disappoint me.  I don't envy the path that lies before you.  I don't believe for one minute that this is a "choice" - I do believe that you are who you are - and that you must do what you have to do.  I am afraid for you, I will worry about all those things that people who hold you dear to their heart worry about - but, I also support your decision and think that you are the most courageous person I have ever known.  Just remember, you will have to be as patient with us, as you want us to be with you - and that is no easy task for any of us.   

(addressing my wife)-
I think that your journey will not be any less difficult.  The future is going to be hard for you - trying to make sense out of all of this and put it into a perspective that is healthy and accepting for your daughter, your family and most importantly for yourself is monumental.  I also do not envy the path that lies before you  it may be more difficult than  Ryan's in some ways- but I do believe that you are a very gifted and special woman.  I believe that you will do the right thing and support Ryan - and your daughter will learn from your example.  She will be blessed with the gifts of tolerance, love, acceptance and advocacy and will have learned these from you -  and will grow into a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate woman - and this will be your gift to her, to Ryan and most importantly your gift to yourself.
You will always be my niece and I do love you - and I will do whatever I can to support you and your family.

There is danger and difficulty ahead - we live in a society where intolerance is "ok" where prejudice abounds and where there is inherent evil.  But, I am an optimist, and I do with every inch of my soul belive that good will always triumph evil - so we will move ahead - together as a family - as a family - not as people connected through marriage or other familial relations - as a whole family.  It is going to be hard - and awkward at times - but we will persevere - because that's what we do.

I love you,

Aunt *****

I guess I did this by design. I told people to tell others so that they may gather up their support networks in order to aid them through my transition. I think that my Aunt's level of understanding is rare, and I also believe it exists in part because I have taken the time to temper myself, allow others a time to prepare, and recognized the social hell that it can be for a family.

I think I'm trying to say: Help others help you! Allow them to talk to their friends and family about it. Maybe we can turn being outed into something positive in this way.

[ClaireA]

That's amazing! How wonderful it would be to get that kind of support!

Congratulation!

[Janet_Girl]

Your aunt sounds like a very caring and supportive woman.  You are blessed with her.  I hope your wife is just as supportive.

[annette]

Hi Emma

Count your blessings with family like your aunt.
The letter was heartwarming and I hope you will meet many persons in your life who will give the same reaction like your aunt.

hugs
annette

[caitlin_adams]

Your aunt rocks.

[bethw]

Oh Emma;
She sounds like an amazing lady. I wish I had someone in my life like that when I was younger. Treasure her always.
Hugs

Beth

[MarinaM]

I know, she's totally awesome. The next hardest part of the peripheral coming out process will be having to deal with my male cousins that all admired me so greatly. We all got along so well, never a gender based discriminatory action that I can recall from any of them. I love them too. This process can be nerve wracking for all of the wrong reasons.

[Emmanuelle]

*totally silent and thinking: wauw... awesome*

What a woman! So happy for you Emma!

[Dana Lane]

Wow...what an incredible person your Aunt is!! Thanks for sharing!

[Stephanie.Izann]

You are so blessed! A woman to admire!

[Susan Baum]

I know, she's totally awesome. 

Emma, you are pretty awsome yourself. 

Your Aunt's and family's love and respect are but mirrors of who you are - a lady ever so true to herself.   

Thanks for sharing the letter and brightening my and others' day.

~Huge Hugs~

Susan

[MarinaM]

Emma, you are pretty awsome yourself. 

Your Aunt's and family's love and respect are but mirrors of who you are - a lady ever so true to herself.   

Thanks for sharing the letter and brightening my and others' day.

~Huge Hugs~

Susan

No, you're awesome!

Thank you!

[NathanW]

Your aunt sounds like a really amazing person I'm glad that she is ok with it.

[Rock_chick]

That is beautiful....now excuse me while i cry for a bit

[Liam-XXI]

I know, she's totally awesome. The next hardest part of the peripheral coming out process will be having to deal with my male cousins that all admired me so greatly. We all got along so well, never a gender based discriminatory action that I can recall from any of them. I love them too. This process can be nerve wracking for all of the wrong reasons.

Emma,

I too know that feeling.. My mom asked if she could tell my aunt, (who we know is the gossip in the family), and I agreed, but then, without talking to me; my mom began calling all our relatives individually, to tell them they had lost a niece but gained a nephew.

my mom said "I didn't want a giant game of telephone. I wanted their facts to be straight and so they had no confusion."

Anyways, I thanked my mom profusely.. and then last night (apparently mom is calling a few siblings a day), my cousin texted me. I grew up in this big 30 cousin group that got together every year twice or more, and usually spent about a week or two each visit.

So, my group of gal cousins, one by one, (there were K, V, E, and me) have been talking to me.. it's mostly been K and V, but they have been so supportive of me; asking lots of questions, and they want to know I'm happy.. but like my cousin V said "I'm happy as long as you're happy. Besides, Liam is a cute name."

So, if they looked up to you so much, and you love them... they'll understand. besides, I bet as understanding as your Aunt is; she'll whip them into shape if they aren't being very nice!

Anyways, thank you so much for sharing your letter - your Aunt is an amazing woman, and too rare.

- Liam