cardassian amongst 5 billion humans

[espo]

I have a question and as I lean towards the colder and more clinical side of the emotional scale, I'm asking not because I'm suicidal or depressed but because I need to know what others think. Yes, other peoples opinion do matter to me.  Not only opinons but experiences, feelings, how they cope or relate or deal with things.  I do not relate to being male or female,  I dont wear make up, I don't feel compelled to wear dresses or look pretty. I don't feel compelled to watch sports or talk sports, I haven't an ounce of competitiveness in me, I don't care how small my penis is, I don't care .... period... about anything to do with gender roles or sex or fitting in, because physically or mentally I CAN'T fit in to any camp.  So my question is whats the point in living ? I won't have a spouse, as I'm asexual, I don't have sperm, I don't have a womb, so family is not in the future for me. I don't know, if I can't even relate as a human being, if I cant function as a human being, why am I here ? 
Love ? I guess, thats probably the empty feeling in my gut when i see a couple kissing or laughing together ... ya, thats probably a real cool thing to experience.   Actually, when I said I dont care about gender roles or sex, thats not true about 50% of the time, I do care but in a negative way. Like, when my brother comes over with his family, I want to tell him to piss off because I hate his stupid guts for being normal and HAPPY !     So maybe my emotions do heat up a tad on the negative side also.  But basically, its like I'm wondering around on this earth amongst beings of a totally different makeup then myself, like I'm an cardassian amongst 5 billion humans.  Whats the point in being here ? What is my goal ? Why am I here when its so frick'n obvious the end of my life will be as cold and dead as the beginning and the middle is.

Hummmmm .... ya, so basically, what is the object of my presence here on earth.  An ice cube wandering around looking to do what exactly? It's not so much that I don't know what to do, I keep busy, I do things, I'm around people All.The.Time. but its the 'object' of life that seems to be missing for me.

[Da Monkey]

Hmmm this might sound stupid but maybe get a pet like a puppy? I have a friend who doesn't care much for human interaction and has only dated a couple of people and was down a lot but after she got a dog it turned her life around a lot.

We all sometimes feel lost on the spectrum of gender, sexual orientation and our place in society but focusing too much on other people can just get frustrating. And if you find it hard to love another human, sometimes focusing it on an animal can be a lot easier. (Of course I don't mean it sexually, I figure that's obvious but still had to say it). Dogs are very affectionate, loving, caring and can even read people's emotions very well. And they wait by the door every time you leave and are so happy to see you right when you come back.

Why are we all here in general? If we are here to get partners and have kids then it is just a infinite loop that leaves us over populated so I think a few people not caring to do so won't be such a bad thing so maybe that is a purpose there?

[Jaimey]

The only answer I have is probably the most frustrating answer ever: it's different for everyone.  Basically, you gotta figure out what it is you want from life and live for that.  While I do like human interaction, I'm not one of those people who needs a relationship to be happy.  In fact, I'm a loner for the most part, so I do understand somewhat what you're getting at.  I think it's fine to not need what everyone else wants.  You just gotta figure out what it is that makes you tick.

[kate durcal]

"Whats the point in being here ? What is my goal ? Why am I here when its so frick'n obvious the end of my life will be as cold and dead as the beginning and the middle is"

The point of being here is: "the pursue of happiness" What makes you happy?

[VeryGnawty]

Hummmmm .... ya, so basically, what is the object of my presence here on earth.

Maybe there isn't one.

You do the best you can with what you have.  If you can't find ANYTHING you want out of life, you can always sit around and twiddle your thumbs.

[japple]

There isn't a point.  You're an animal running around trying to not be eaten.  Survival is the accomplishment, escaping the jaws of predators.

Unfortunately society has made it very easy for the individual to survive so now what?  Screw around, try to figure out what is fun and have it.  Maybe basking in the reality that we don't have to do very much at all is what it's all about at this point.  Walk from one side of the country to the other just to see what happens.  Since there are few predators, you'll be happiest when you make up stuff to survive against.  Try rock climbing...changed my outlook for sure.

[espo]

Thanks for your thoughts. Its more of a question that centers on the 'being' rather then 'doing' aspect but I like the idea of getting a dog and searching for happiness. Do you really think theres no point ? Seriously?

[VeryGnawty]

Do you really think theres no point ? Seriously?

It's less of a matter of there not being a point, and more of where that point comes from.  The reason people can't find the meaning to life is because they are looking for something other than themselves to give them meaning.  But "meaning" is not an inherent property of the natural world.  Meaning is a subjective aspect of intelligence.

If I ask you what "table" means you could give me definitions of what table means, because you have studied the English language.  But "table" has no inherent meaning.  It has an agreed upon social meaning.  When I say "table" you know what it means, because you have agreed beforehand as to what it means.

Life is the same way.  It has no inherent meaning.  It means whatever you think it does.

[ativan]

It's less of a matter of there not being a point, and more of where that point comes from.  The reason people can't find the meaning to life is because they are looking for something other than themselves to give them meaning. .

This

[rejennyrated]

The saying that "life is what you make it" comes to mind.

Life certainly has a meaning, but it is one that YOU must create. It's like being an author on a grand scale.

I want to take issue with you over your confident assertions of the inevitability of loneliness. It isn't a given that someone "in the middle" has to be alone. I know of many couples who are both somewhat gender non polarised and many of them have stayed together for a long time. Love does not have to be based on polarised sexuality. There are other ways to be a couple. You don't need to fit into a CAMP, you just need to find someone who you feel comfortable being around.

The other thing which I would take issue with is that you are making assumptions as to the nature of the other 5 billion or so occupants of this globe. For all you know, some of us may be Vulcans, Romulans, Klingons, heck maybe we've even got a few Borg, and then there are the timelords - they even come from an entirely different show!  Thing is unless you take the risk of getting to know us you won't find out what we really are because like you we all feel isolated and we all go around trying to hide.

We are not all human! How insulting of you to suggest that! We just all happen to be stuck for a time on this particular rock. So my advice is stop looking inwards and being so caught up in being different. Truth is, you really aren't! You have just been too busy looking at your own navel to notice that even here on earth there are millions of other cardassians out there. So look around and go find one!

[VeryGnawty]

For all you know, some of us may be Vulcans

According to the "What Star Trek Race Are You?" quiz, I'm Vulcan.

I don't hold anything against Cardassians, unless they give me a logical reason to do so.

EDIT:
While we are on the topic of meaning, there is a very good website for people who think their life doesn't have any meaning.  Just click HERE.

[espo]

rejennyrated: 
The points you took issue with ..... sorry, even though it's how I 'feel' I know your quite right.  It does seem insurmountable at times but who knows what the future holds, yeah ?   My problem is, I close my eyes and mull over what you said, I say "rejennyrated is absolutely right, what's the matter with me" but when I open my eyes, it's more " agggh, stupid world"
Thanks for your reply, it does help.

Now, before some smartypants suggests I go through life with my eyes closed, I tried it, doesnt work too well   

VeryGnawty: Thanks for the link, interesting site.

[japple]

Thanks for your thoughts. Its more of a question that centers on the 'being' rather then 'doing' aspect but I like the idea of getting a dog and searching for happiness. Do you really think theres no point ? Seriously?

No, I don't think there is a point.  There are billions of insects..and now billions of people.  Some are born and die on the same day.  Some live 100 years.  This doesn't mean I sit around being nihilistic.  Not feeling like their a point, or reason, or higher power takes a lot of stress away.  I am very active and successful.  I do what make me happy..as long as it doesn't harm others too much...which is purely emotional. 

There is no difference in "being" and "doing."  You "are" what you do.  Validation come from action.  Which is why so many people have situational depression or adjustment based depression.   Energy begats energy. You can't separate being from doing.

[Kinkly]

There is no difference in "being" and "doing."  You "are" what you do.  Validation come from action.  Which is why so many people have situational depression or adjustment based depression.   Energy begats energy. You can't separate being from doing.

be true to yourself and do what is life giving for you hopefully you will find a point to this life.  I'd rather believe that there is a reason for me to be here (even if I don't know what it is) and to be proven wrong when I die then to live believing it doesn't matter what I do or who I hurt and to find out I was wrong when I die.

for me being true to myself and living as me by my values should only make the lives of others like me in the future easier.
nobody can tell you who you are or what your meaning in life is.
its just like being in love nobody can tell you that you are in love you just know.
-- anybody pick the movie reference

[My Name Is Ellie]

If ever I start thinking that my time on Earth is pointless and that I should end it (it happens a lot) I consider this:

If I am here for no reason, then I might as well make a reason.

Exploit the system. Create something out of nothing, essentially. Do the things you want to do, however crazy they sound. Whacky ideas you'd never dream of doing, but you've always wanted to.

If life is pointless, make a point out of it and you've proved yourself wrong and won the game.