envious, jealous... pick your poison

[notyouraverageguy]

I agree fully...I have huge hips (before I started working out they were 40" but have only dropped to 37" after 6 months) and I want so badly to acheive the androgynous look which I can't have because of my hips. It's nearly inpossible to make your hips any smaller. I have C's but that's easier to bind. Not to mention how short I am, the only people I know as short or shorter than me are girls. I want to be taller. I can't start transitioning for at least 3 years, and that's if I can afford it then.
Every time I see a picture of a guy or I'm around a guy who is attractive I compare everything about me to him and I get so depressed that I'll never be that attractive, I'll never pass and be accepted like him... I can't help it, I try to ignore it but this voice in my head just keeps whispering to me: "You're never going to be a hot guy like that. You won't even be accepted as androgynous. People will only ever see you as a girl." Yet I already have people confusing my gender, elementary schoolers asking if I'm a girl or a boy and people calling me 'sir' and I've barely started my transition. Yet I still can't get over that nagging feeling in the back of my mind...

I feel this way, and completely understand where you're coming from.

[Ryno]

I do envy other guys, like guys with broad, muscular shoulders and chests, lean guys, guys with good facial hair, guys who can snowboard, mountain bike, rock climb, and even guys with good cars - whether they're trans or cisgender. But I don't let it make me feel dysphroic about myself, I use them as inspiration to shape my own body and life. I want a nice, muscular body - so I'll work out, exercise, and eat right until I'm satisfied and have reached my maximum fitness. I want a deeper voice and facial hair - so I'll take testosterone. I want to get active and participate in some extreme sports, so I'll go to a wall climbing place and learn or hit the rough terrain with my bike.

I may never look like this guy or that guy but I'll look like me at my full potential and that's all I could ever want.