Any Older FTMs? (40+)

[Jigsaw]

Thanks for info bojangles. Wish I could say that put me at ease, but now I am more worried.  I have chin hair now, not a ton, but enough that I have to shave daily or I start plucking it.  I don't like the scratchy feel.  Guess I will just have to take it one day at a time  and read up on the MtF forums on how to hide the shadow just in case.   

[spenser]

Hey there
I'm 40 and just getting started.  Glad to see some older guys around

[Robert Scott]

Hey there
I'm 40 and just getting started.  Glad to see some older guys around

me 2

[bojangles]

Thanks for info bojangles. Wish I could say that put me at ease, but now I am more worried.  I have chin hair now, not a ton, but enough that I have to shave daily or I start plucking it.  I don't like the scratchy feel.  Guess I will just have to take it one day at a time  and read up on the MtF forums on how to hide the shadow just in case.

Jigsaw, that's just my experience. Yours could be different. Some guys don't get much facial hair at all.


Pre T, I didn't think I wanted more facial hair. Now I'm such a teenage boy I check on it everyday.

[Arch]

Pre T, I didn't think I wanted more facial hair. Now I'm such a teenage boy I check on it everyday.

I do something similar--I keep letting it grow out for a couple of weeks until it's quite plain that it just isn't ready to be a beard. Then I shave it off and start all over again.

Another challenge of transitioning in middle age: I went through a period during which I wanted to be wild...to cut loose the way a lot of prepubescent and teenage boys do...and because of my age and responsibilities, I felt that I couldn't. I suppose this would happen with plenty of younger guys as well, but if you look like a teenager, people aren't so surprised when you act like one. I may not look my age, but I do look like an adult who should know better.

[helios502]

Hi all, my partner is in this category (as am I, as SO); he is 47 and I am 49 and we have a 5 year old. The T changes seem to be taking a long time (has been on T for nearly 3 months), which he thinks/worries is related to age. I have definitely felt to be an anamoly because of our age and having a kid, even though we live in a big city. It can be pretty lonely for both of us, for different reasons, and so it's nice to have this older guys' thread. I should think the issues would be a bit different: different job status, relationship status, kids, etc. thanks for letting me chime in here--Helios.

[Nero]

Hi all, my partner is in this category (as am I, as SO); he is 47 and I am 49 and we have a 5 year old. The T changes seem to be taking a long time (has been on T for nearly 3 months), which he thinks/worries is related to age. I have definitely felt to be an anamoly because of our age and having a kid, even though we live in a big city. It can be pretty lonely for both of us, for different reasons, and so it's nice to have this older guys' thread. I should think the issues would be a bit different: different job status, relationship status, kids, etc. thanks for letting me chime in here--Helios.

3 months is really early. What changes has he had?

[Arch]

3 months is really early. What changes has he had?

Ditto. Not even three months. So I'm wondering what kinds of changes y'all were expecting and what has happened so far. Tell us, do!!!

I should point out that I transitioned in my forties and have only really had problems getting a good beard (no surprise, since I'm blond). I also know a guy in his fifties who transitioned late in life and had no trouble masculinizing, even though he was told not to expect much of anything at all. And I know another couple of guys who were around 36-38--they didn't have any problems masculinizing, either. And, of course, some of the older guys here on Susan's.

The "you're pretty old to get much benefit from T" claim could very well be a crock, and I personally suspect that it is (based on purely anecdotal evidence, I'll admit). I'm pretty sure that the speed of your transition depends much more on other factors--mannerisms, genetics, and body size and shape. Mostly genetics--and you can't really do anything about that. However, I do think that a lot of younger guys get a "passing" advantage--often, they already look like teenage boys, so T just adds to that. Older guys may look younger than their age, but they don't usually look young enough to be mistaken as teens.

[-CRaSH-]

Iftot is any consteation i find that the older a FTM is the manlier they look.

[Arch]

Iftot is any consteation i find that the older a FTM is the manlier they look.

Must be the hair loss.

[helios502]

Dear Arch, Forum administrator and others curious about this: my partner (age 47) has been on T not quite 3 months, and here are the changes: weight gain, more muscle (2 inches on chest, eg); some small amounts of facial hair; back acne; pores slightly bigger; skin feels different (oilier); slight thickening of face/jaw;  what you all call 'junk growth' (hah!). What has not happened: no chest hair, no happy trails, no real beard or mustache. He does not feel like he is passing (which is probably fair to say, even though he has been sirred a few times, but that used to happen before anyway). He is extremely depressed and unhappy about how slowly things are going, and it's having a very bad effect on his sense of self and of course on our relationship (does not want any intimacy, not even cuddling let alone sex). Sexually speaking he feels 'dead', a 'nothing.' Not just with me, but even in his fantasy life; not even masturbating. I've never heard of that for anyone who has been on T for 3 months.  He is convinced something is wrong, but his T levels were just checked and he is in the normal male range, whatever that is. Any insight? Thanks, Helios.

[Sean]

Dear Arch, Forum administrator and others curious about this: my partner (age 47) has been on T not quite 3 months, and here are the changes: weight gain, more muscle (2 inches on chest, eg); some small amounts of facial hair; back acne; pores slightly bigger; skin feels different (oilier); slight thickening of face/jaw;  what you all call 'junk growth' (hah!). What has not happened: no chest hair, no happy trails, no real beard or mustache. He does not feel like he is passing (which is probably fair to say, even though he has been sirred a few times, but that used to happen before anyway). He is extremely depressed and unhappy about how slowly things are going, and it's having a very bad effect on his sense of self and of course on our relationship (does not want any intimacy, not even cuddling let alone sex). Sexually speaking he feels 'dead', a 'nothing.' Not just with me, but even in his fantasy life; not even masturbating. I've never heard of that for anyone who has been on T for 3 months.  He is convinced something is wrong, but his T levels were just checked and he is in the normal male range, whatever that is. Any insight? Thanks, Helios.

I think you've identified exactly what is wrong: he is likely suffering from depression. T is not a magic pill that will cure depression.

All his changes are pretty typical for 3 months on T. If he was really expecting chest hair or a full beard/mustache after 3 months on T, he had some wildly unrealistic expectations, because significant chest fur and full beards are unheard of within 3 months - even among the most genetically hairy of us.

Sounds like your partner could benefit from some therapy and/or treatment by mental health practitioners...

[kyril]

Sean's right. His physical changes are completely normal. Lack of sex drive is a very common symptom of depression, and T doesn't override it. His depression may be related to having unrealistic expectations of transition that weren't met, or it may be related to the stress of transitioning, or it may just be a continuation of whatever preexisting depression/dysphoria led him to see transition as an immediate necessity. But whatever it is, he could probably benefit from some form of counseling.

Physically, though, he sounds perfectly normal. My changes at 3 months were identical to his, and I'm 27.

[Arch]

I've been on T for over two years, and I have maybe a dozen wispy chest hairs on each side of my chest. And the beard? Still workin' on it. I've met a couple of guys with, I don't know, lots of Sicilian blood or something, who got some pretty good face fur in under six months, but they were exceptions--and they still had a long way to go. They didn't exactly have full coverage, and I don't think their beards were fully coarse yet.

Most teenage boys take years to get fuzzy; so do mature trans men who are early in transition.

I think Sean and Kyril know of what they speak. Is your man in counseling? Attending a support group? Has he ever come here? It might help him. If he doesn't know what types of changes are typical, he'll learn a lot here and get lots of fabulous support.

[bojangles]

I agree, the physical changes sound on target.
Possibly, so are the emotional ones.

It seems normal to me to be impatient. Seems like it took forever to get here and now it can't happen fast enough. Have to force myself go out sometimes because I still see what has not changed yet. Then it surprises me to be called sir...period (as opposed to sir,,,ma'am?).

This is a long haul kinda thing. Takes time to transition both externally and internally.

[Arch]

I agree, the physical changes sound on target.
Possibly, so are the emotional ones.

It seems normal to me to be impatient.

As my therapist once told me, "You're normal...you're a normal transsexual."

[bojangles]

As my therapist once told me, "You're normal...you're a normal transsexual."

Man, I like that.

[Arch]

Man, I like that.

Me too, more and more. At first, I thought of it as a COMPLETE oxymoron. I said, "That's like saying that I'm a normal freak."

I don't feel quite the same way now--I'm much better--although I do have my less stellar moments.

[mowdan6]

I'm 53.  Started T 8 years ago.  My changes have been slower than most because I have never been able to do a full dose of hormones.  To do so, causes my red blood cell count to go off the charts and I end up with slug running through my system.  Anyway, here was my timeline for changes. 
Within 3-5 months, my voice fell into the basement.  That was great...finally passing on the phone.  Within 5-6 months, my arm and leg hair grew very thick.  (Robin Williams thick).  The chest hair took between 3-4 years.  I was actually greatful for that since I was able to get chest surgery before the hairy chest took over.  As for facial hair.  After 4 years, it was growing in thick on my neck and chin.  Other areas were patchy, and the sideburns would'nt grow at all.  I just kept a really close shave.  It's only been within this past year, that the sideburns have grown thick and now I get to sport a couple of good ones. 
Not sure if that is helpful.  I just had to deal with that one word we all hate.  Patience. 

[Arch]

One area where I've been lucky is the sideburns. I have a friend who's been on T for nearly a decade, and no sideburns. Mine starting coming in at once.

But the beard...gah, I am trying to be patient.