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Unexpected outing with my brother

Started by Padma, March 08, 2011, 03:00:20 PM

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Padma

Well, my brother phoned me unexpectedly this evening to see how I was (I've been off sick with a virus for a few weeks). He said "Are you okay?" and I answered with a maybe-yes-maybe-no kind of yes. So he asked me what was up, and I just found myself telling him "I've got some really intense stuff going on to do with gender, actually."

We didn't talk about that much, we moved on to other stuff, and eventually to him repeating his offer to help me move house next month.

And then he said "...I just want to give you any support I can - including for any kind of gender transition thing you might go through..." I was gobsmacked - I told him "I have no idea what's going to happen, anything and everything might happen" and he replied "I've known that about you for some time" - I said "what, the gender thing, or the 'anything and everything might happen' thing?" and he laughed and said "both!"

I'm astounded - partly by what he said, and partly that I just came out and told him. I've been inclined more and more over the last few months to takes risks in communication, but this was a real surprise. Me and him, we're all we've got when it comes to family (we don't have anything to do with our dad or his lot any more). I've supported him through a lot when he was pretty wobbly and low in confidence (after 35 years stoned, which didn't help). And now he's cleaned up his act and is giving me support, and that's amazing. I thought I'd be afraid of telling him, and I just wasn't any more - we trust each other. Cool! :laugh:
Womandrogyne™
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Tamaki

I'm so happy for you! It's great when family supports each other like that.

I'm hoping my family will come around too.
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Caith

That's just a fantastic thing to happen for you, and wonderful that you shared with us all.  I'd say karma has repaid you many times over for your years of kindness.
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Illusionary weapons

Quote from: yoxi on March 08, 2011, 03:00:20 PM
I'm astounded - partly by what he said, and partly that I just came out and told him. I've been inclined more and more over the last few months to takes risks in communication
me and my mum talked about males being pregnant (not sure how that came up), and I said I want to carry my children, she looked a little shocked and agreed completely :D

My gorgeous niece said out of the blue "You're half-woman".  She explained it's because we all get an X from our mother.

Second eldest sister said because I bang on about the importance of family she said "You're like Peggy (a matriarchial woman haha) in a British soap Eastenders."  I said call me Peggy then :P
These are good signs.

Yoxi I'm really happy for you, family is uber important, I've let some take for granted that's all ended now and I feel much better for doing that :)
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MarinaM

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Padma

Now I just have to pluck up the courage to ask him what he meant by "I've known that about you for some time..." :o
Womandrogyne™
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Rock_chick

This is awesome.

Quote from: EmmaM on March 08, 2011, 04:31:21 PM
We need a Susan's "like" button.  :)

*Helena Likes This*
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Padma

Words beat buttons any day of the week - down with slacktivism! ;D.
Womandrogyne™
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spacial

Quote from: yoxi on March 08, 2011, 04:35:37 PM
Now I just have to pluck up the courage to ask him what he meant by "I've known that about you for some time..." :o

I don't know your brother, of course, but I'm pretty certain that what he meant is that he loves you, he cares about you and he wants you to be happy.

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Lee

That's great.  I think I'm more nervous about coming out to my brother than anyone, so it's nice to hear when things work out well with siblings.
Oh I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love

A blah blog
http://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/board,365.0.html
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V M

That's great Yoxi  :)  I hope things continue to go well for you
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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MarinaM

Quote from: yoxi on March 08, 2011, 04:45:35 PM
Words beat buttons any day of the week - down with slacktivism! ;D.

Ah ha! I've found a new cause!  ;)
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Miss Natasha Cleaver

Yoxi,
   That is great to hear! Keep the momentum going!
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Illusionary weapons

Quote from: yoxi on March 08, 2011, 04:45:35 PM
Words beat buttons any day of the week - down with slacktivism! ;D.
Yes, but aren't words the slacktivist's classic mode of action yoxi lol.
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alexia elliot

Of course as usual I get here fashionably late.
Your brother is a treasure to hold and cherish. We often hear horror stories of refusal, abandonment and disowning from those who we embraced as loving. My father plays Darth Vader's role quite convincingly all together with embrace of the dark force. I am yet to fly in and save his soul, I am fortunate though being bestowed with an unsurpassed love from my mom and sis, who would travel thousands miles to my rescue (literally).
Since my reveal and tight grip on the transition, my life has changed in unmeasurable plethora of wellness through love. I realized, that without their love, embrace and indisputable support, helplessness would have roam in place of serenity. 
I am thrilled, yet another have such a sibling, to hold and love each other through one of the toughest chapters and undertakings in life. May the force be with you Yoxi :) 
PS ( I am not a star wars nut, just felt incidental similarities:)
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justmeinoz

Wonderful things can and do happen to us sometimes. Both my brothers and their wives have been very accepting too.  If you have family and a few close friends on side, the rest doesn't matter nearly as much.  Hugs to both of you.     Sandra.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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AmySmiles

Quote from: yoxi on March 08, 2011, 04:45:35 PM
Words beat buttons any day of the week - down with slacktivism! ;D.

*Amy likes this*


:P

But seriously, that's fantastic!  A lot of people dream of reactions like that :)
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Debra

Awww that's so nice. I'm glad your brother is supportive =)

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