I don't know what to do

[Jenni]

I'm not sure if I have the right to post here but I don't know where to go. Last tuesday I finally went out again as myself. I wish i didn't. I met a guy in west hollywood. He seemed so nice. He invited me back to his place. after a while he attacked me in the worst way. when I begged for him to stop he beat me. I'm so hurt right now. In every conciavable way. I'm ashamed. I don't know what to do. I don't want to call the cops.

[Janet_Girl]

First, are you alright physically?

Now, can you get to your therapist, so you can talk to someone?

Lastly, Call the police.  An assault is an assault.

[lancem27]

Yes, please follow Janet's advice. This is absolutely horrible, I am so so sorry that this happened to you. I hope you're as okay as you possibly can be right now.

*hug*

[azSam]

Wow I wish there was something I could do to help you. I agree that you should call the cops though.

[Chantal185]

Its so sad to hear this kind of stuff, there are so many violent men out there that are homophobic and a lot of potential danger. I agree that you should contact the cops about this, also try to get in touch with your therapist, that must have been an awful and traumatic experience.

[atheris]

Please notify the police before someone gets killed!

[SiobhanB]

I'll echo what everyone has said before me, call the Police, this is considered a hate crime and is taken very seriously.

He needs to learn that this is not acceptable behaviour in this day and age.

I hope that the wounds heal fast, both the physical and the mental ones.

And yes, of course you have the right to post here, you are among friends.

Siobhan.

[Jenni]

I cant go to the police that would mean my family would find out he raped me  i am ashamed i trusted him and put myself in a position where he could this

[Janet_Girl]

Jenni,

I understand why you don't want to, but you may not be his first or his last.  Even if he was your best friend, he violated the law and you.

A friend was raped by her own son, and she never reported it, because she was shamed to be so vulnerable to her own son. She did not want people to know.  So she sold her house and moved to a new area.  She left her friends and other family, and is now alone.

I have never heard of a single victim, regardless of the outcome, that wished they had not gone to court.  But you do heard of victims who commit suicide or go insane emotionally because they did not want to deal with it.

You will have to deal with it at sometime, in one way or another.  I can only wish you well and encourage you stop stop this monster now.

Hugs Sister

[SnailPace]

This is such a horrible thing to have happened to you.  I am so so sorry.

Even if you don't plan to go to the police I think it's important to write everything down that you remember happening, that way if it takes you a while to build up the nerve to talk to someone you will remember the date(s) that everything happened etc.

Also,  you should look into finding a support group for sexual assault survivors.  If it specializes in trans* women than that's even better.

I will encourage you to go to the police, though.  This is a touchy subject and I'm sure that a police officer would respect your wishes to keep your family out of the situation.  You are an adult, yes?  They don't need to take any part in the investigation if you don't want them to.

But what is it that you think your family will do? I would think they would be devastated for you!

This was not your fault Jenni.  Nothing you did made this happen.  He abused your trust and he abused you.  He chose to do those awful things and HE is the one in the wrong.  Please do not blame yourself.  There is nothing you could have done differently, but there are plenty of things that HE could have done differently. 

Again, I'm so sorry.

[rejennyrated]

Having survived a similar incident when I was barely 16, already partially transitioned, and at school all I can do is agree with Janet.

You really should report this event. It was a crime. What is more if you don't at least make an attempt to report it and find help you will probably end up suppressing it for many years. That in itself will take its toll on you. I know because I did it, and it started a cycle of running away from certain situations which indirectly caused me to make some very bad decisions in my career.

So in effect, by failing to report and get help at the time, I ended up paying twice.