Hi. I'm new.

[sascraps]

I came across this forum a couple of nights ago and read several topics in the "Non-Op" section and feel that that's what I can best relate to. As it currently stands, I'm biologically female. I never really thought twice about there being any difference in mental gender until one of my best friends told me that she intends to get a full sex change. Once I looked into it, things began to click. I'm currently in a serious relationship with a bio male, and as long as that continues I'll have to keep the female bits. I'm trying to stay on the D-L but at the same time I'd like to have a some ftm friends, pre, post, or non op I don't care. It's the realization and the emotions and thoughts that would be nice to have someone to chat with about.

[Da Monkey]

Hey welcome to the site. There's lots of useful information here, and FTMs here and even MTFs who can help with any questions or support you need.

[andro]

Hi Sascraps Im new here also and wanted to say Hi

I do have a question as to your comment about "as long as that continues I'll have to keep the female bits" , Just an observation it seems like your keeping bits to satisfy someone else and not yourself. Do what makes You happy with bits that are comfortable and right for you, whether staying bio or transitioning.

[Janet_Girl]

Hi Sascraps,

Welcome to our little family. Over 5900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother.

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Hugs and Love,
Janet

[sascraps]

Thanks for all the welcomes. 

Andro, as for what I want in life, all I want is independence and basic human respect. I could live my life biologically female, I think, as long as I were able to obtain some kind of success for myself. It's infinitely harder as an unattractive woman to get a job or make something of yourself. I suppose if I ended up nothing but a housewife who has to obey the head of household, that's not going to fly with me because I have been subservient and a slave to my family all of my life, and I am so done having to obey and submit! It's my need for independence that drives me, coupled with the underlying fact that I haven't ever been comfortable in my own skin. And now I may know why. I'm not meant to follow the roles society expects for women. And I'm not content to always be looked down on for not having the waistline & wardrobe of Paris Hilton. I'm not physically or mentally able to be what society expects women to be. I used to think I was just a hardcore tomboy, but now I know that there is more to it. There is a disconnect in there when it comes to thinking of myself as female. It only goes as far as "because that's what my ID says I am" and it ends there. My boyfriend knows how I feel and is ok with knowing that's what I would do in the future if we're not financially able to start a life together or things don't work out for any other reason.

[andro]

Hi again   lots of thoughts to your post, but what i would say mostly is that beauty is in you! Its not just outward appearance, but inner-beauty belief of who and what type of person you are. Positive and believing in yourself that you are beautiful and worthwhile and not anyones servant to submit to. Some of the most beautiful people are not what society considers beautiful.

[annette]

Hi sascraps

Welcome to the forum.
I don't care what ever you be or not, just welcome as yourself and the way you are happy.
You seems to be things to have all figured out for yourself, that's okay, we don't have to understand it as long as you do.
Because it's your life and you have to live it the way you prefer, that's the only thing I respect, that you are happy in the way you are.
Welcome again honey and I hope you will have a good time here.

hugs
annette

[sascraps]

Thanks again for the support. I'm glad I didn't sound too bad off there. I have figured out a lot in my lifetime, even though I can still take in new information. It's always good to find new options, and to me, I have found an option I can move forward with. I used to be terribly depressed and thought I would kill myself if I never found someone to love me. Now I have hope for myself because even though I'm middle aged, I could still someday live a life that is more in tune with who I am if the relationship doesn't work out for any reason. And that brings me a lot of peace and relief from the suicidal thoughts that plagued me up until very recently.

[annette]

Hi sascraps

You just said the magic words....being in peace with yourself.
And never thinking of kill yourself, that's the last option and you can't turn it back.
For most of the problems there is a solution.

Just stay in peace and love yourself a little more
you're worth it.

hugs
annette

[riccirules]

sascraps,

As it stands, I am currently a non-op FTM transman.
I've not even come out to my own family yet, as I'm afraid of losing their love.
I have known about my "state" for as long as I can remember, and at the age of 13 I knew I wanted SRS.
That was 15 years ago.
I live this way out of fear.
I hope you never do.
Please do what is right for you.
Not what is right for others.

-Ricci

[sascraps]

I'm in my mid-30's, and I'm not going to live for others any more. I hope you can someday do the same. I never had my family's love, so that's not really anything I have to consider.   

[andro]

you sound strong within yourself and that is a awesome thing considering! I laud your strength of conviction of self and self esteem