Bad Jokes

[Cindy]

That's disgusting! Where can I buy them? I'm having a family BBQ next week!

[dalebert]

[dalebert]

[dalebert]

[dalebert]

[dalebert]

[Devlyn]

That's disgusting! Where can I buy them? I'm having a family BBQ next week!

Right here! http://www.gizmomagazine.com/human-hot-dog-cooker/

[Kevin Peña]

Right here! http://www.gizmomagazine.com/human-hot-dog-cooker/

Well, I guess you can have some fun with someone with that red-hot poker.     

[dalebert]

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or maybe it was Neil McNeil from Barra, but anyway..) went to study at an English university and was living in the hall of residence with all the other students there. After he had been there a month, his mother came to visit him (no doubt carrying reinforcements of tatties, salt herring, oatmeal and whisky).

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all night."

"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my b>-bleeped-<ipes."

[dalebert]

A man in a kilt walks into a pub with a plastic bag under his arms and the bartender asks, "What's that?"

"Six pounds of Semtex", he answers.

"That's a relief. I thought it was b>-bleeped-<ipes."

---------------

Old Jock had been very hard of hearing for many years, but eventually his doctor got him fitted up with a very discreet hearing aid. A month later, Jock was back for a check-up and the doctor remarked that Jock's family must be delighted that he could hear perfectly again.

Jock grinned and remarked, "Och, I haven't told them yet. I just listen to the conversations and don't let on I can hear them now. I've changed my will three times already..."

[Kevin Peña]

A man in a kilt walks into a pub with a plastic bag under his arms and the bartender asks, "What's that?"

"Six pounds of Semtex", he answers.

"That's a relief. I thought it was b>-bleeped-<ipes."

What does everyone have against b>-bleeped-<ipes?



Fast forward to 2:05. That's where the real action starts. 

______________________________________________________________________________________

Algebra for dummies:
Expand the following binomial --> (a+b)^n --> (a      +       b)^n

Pickup line: Girl, you look tan(c)/sin(c) --> (sin(c)/cos(c))/sin(c) --> 1/cos(c) --> sec(c)

Why can't Mitt Romney screw in a light bulb? He can't figure out which way to turn. 

[michelle gee]

How can ya tell if a someone is ticklish?

Give a couple of test tickles. 

[Devlyn]

What does everyone have against b>-bleeped-<ipes?

Fast forward to 2:05. That's where the real action starts. 

I know everyone has been waiting for me to show up with this. Don't fast forward anything,  AC/DC is good for you!


AC/DC - Its A Long Way To The Top If Ya Wanna Rock And Roll

[Emily Aster]

Algebra for dummies:
Pickup line: Girl, you look tan(c)/sin(c) --> (sin(c)/cos(c))/sin(c) --> 1/cos(c) --> sec(c)

Lol. I'm such a geek that I even checked the math.

[Kevin Peña]

The snack that smiles back...until you bite their heads off. Goldfish!

[Anna++]

The snack that smiles back...until you bite their heads off. Goldfish!

I haven't seen those commercials in years, but they still get stuck in my head every now and then!

[Kevin Peña]

I just made that up. I never thought it was actually in a commercial! 

[Anna++]

I just made that up. I never thought it was actually in a commercial! 

Really?  I'm impressed that everything you said was in the song!  * applauds *

[Anna++]

I wonder if the car is a Trans-Am?

[Kevin Peña]

I almost peed laughing!