Be prepared, this is basically rambling
Okay, so I'm WAAAAAAY out, like, totally out. Except to my father's side of the family. I only see them all once a year, at Christmas, and didn't go to this years, so I haven't seen any of them for a year and a half. None of them know of my trans status, or even of my change of name. It's kind of weirding me out, but I'm avoiding it, I know none of them will like it, but to be honest I don't really care. I never see them, and they're all jerks anyway.
But! I LOVE my grandmother on my father's side, my nanny is the sweetest, most caring woman I've ever known. She's old fashioned when it comes to family, and tries to look after everyone, even though all of her kids have grown up and had children of their own. She's 73, and the only one on my dad's side I've bothered to keep in contact with. A while ago he made her aware of my status, and she knows about my name change, but still calls me by my birth name etc.
Whenever we talk, she never ever brings up the subject, and I'd pretty much lost all hope of her accepting me. I mean, she doesn't complain or anything, but I knew she just wouldn't get it.
Anyway, my birthday was a month ago, and today I finally cleared my few presents out of the loungeroom, where they'd been forgotten in a corner. It was then I noticed the present she'd gotten me. At the time, I was too pleased about the money she gave me to really notice the two other items she got me. My grandmother is a NOTORIOUS clothes and make-up buyer. Every year, without fail she buys me clothes (pink clothes...
) and soap/make-up. This year?
Scent free deoderant, and socks.
I finally realised, a MONTH after she gave them to me, that in her own little quirky ways, my nan is really trying! I just feel so crazily happy! I
never thought I'd be pleased to get socks as a present!
And the scent free deoderant, while being weird as, is neither female nor male, a
huge contrast to her usually pink and strawberry scented shower gels.
It just really gives me hope that, given enough time, someone who really cares about me can change. I hope my other relatives will be as trying as my lovely nan
