Thatman, I can somewhat relate. I've been with the same girl for 7 years and from the get-go I told her, before I even knew what trans was, that I felt like a man in the wrong body. At the time though, I was forcing myself to at least visibly be uber-feminine. She's identified as a lesbian since I knew her, but admits to finding certain men physically attractive. What's weird is that over the years her sex drive has dwindled to next-to-nothing so at this point, she's questioning if she even can call herself a lesbian. She's been thinking she's some kind of asexual, but that's a whole different discussion. When I first came flat out and said "I'm not a lesbian, I'm not a girl, I'm a horribly confused bisexual guy" she was...uncomfortable, at least. She seemed to have this idea that someday I'd magically have a real, functional, bio dick or something. When I told her that no I don't plan on bottom surgery, and no I don't plan on going on T, she got a little better about it.
What's really weird though, and I've mentioned this in other posts, is that I feel more like me when I'm screwing my best friend tbh. And I know exactly why, it's because he doesn't treat me like ANY gender, he treats me like his friend. She still slips up and calls me "woman" or her girlfriend, and it's like these tiny little stabs everytime she does. My biggest fear isn't her leaving me, because I really don't think she will or (this is going to sound horrible) can leave me. Over the past month or so, she's come to terms with things and said she wants to stay with me regardless, even if we stop having sex altogether (which is what sparked the weird sexual/romantic relationship with my best friend). My biggest fear is that I'm going to end up resenting her because of something she can't change...and I kind of hate that.
