Hi Everyone

[LifeInNeon]

Hi everyone

I found this site while doing HRT research in preparation for meeting with my docs. I'm a 28 year old MTF at the very beginning of the process of putting things back in order.

I have the (un?)fortunate honor of having a well-recognized holiday now forever attached to the reawakening of the real me. Oddly enough, it's not even a meaningful connection; the trigger just happened to go off on Valentine's Day and I broke down on the train ride to a movie.

Admitting it to myself and a close friend was probably one of the most amazing moments of my life. I've slowly been putting the pieces together and connecting the dots of all the stuff I've ignored for so long. I told my parents all of this when I was in elementary school, but I'm reasonably certain transitioning never even crossed their mind as an option back then. It's a struggle to not dwell on that (I certainly don't blame them. At all.)

Since Valentine's Day, my transition has been something of a foregone conclusion. If I'm being honest with myself, it was never a question of whether or not I wanted to, it was whether or not I could be satisfied with the result. I waffle between dismissing that like that's a shallow conceit, and actually being bothered by it enough that I doubt my conviction. I don't do things half-way, and so I have not-insignificant concerns about my resolve to follow through considering the length of time it's likely to take.

Today, I just happen to be in the down cycle of coming to terms with not knowing what the outcome will be until I'm past the point of no return, especially since I look in the mirror and I find it hard to imagine where this process ends.

I understand that's such a common doubt that it merits an "everyone feels that way at some point." :-) But that's where my head is at today.

The big milestones coming up are this weekend. I'll be travelling home to tell my family. Hopefully I will see my therapist in the coming week. When I get back, I'll be having the chat with my SO.

I've been keeping a blog on blogspot as well as twitter.

[justmeinoz]

Welcome aboard sis, one of the Admins will be along soon with the official welcome.  Lots of good info and supportive friends here.
Finding the 500kg gorilla that has been sitting in the corner of the room is always a bit of a shock, but it is possible to show him the door.  Just needs a bit of a shove sometimes.

Sandra.

[annette]

Welcome to the forum honey.
It's good to join us, we know what you're dealing with, after all, we're all in the same boat.
Exciting times for you right now.
And believe me, we all had our doubts.
Anyway, feel yourself at home.
You've got friends worldwide now to talk with.

hugs
annette

[Janet_Girl]

Hi LifeInNeon,

Welcome to our little family. Over 5900 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister/brother/Andro/member.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
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Hugs and Love,
Janet

[Lee]

Welcome to life, Life 
Anyways, I hope things go well with your family.  Good luck!

[Olivia-Anne]

I can completely identify with your situation. Your post reminds me of where I was not too long ago. I came across this poem that I thought helped me...( sorry for being cheesy and posting someone elses words...)

1. The Road Not Taken- By: Robert Frost.
 
 
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, 
And sorry I could not travel both 
And be one traveler, long I stood 
And looked down one as far as I could 
To where it bent in the undergrowth;         
 
Then took the other, as just as fair, 
And having perhaps the better claim, 
Because it was grassy and wanted wear; 
Though as for that the passing there 
Had worn them really about the same,         
 
And both that morning equally lay 
In leaves no step had trodden black. 
Oh, I kept the first for another day! 
Yet knowing how way leads on to way, 
I doubted if I should ever come back.         
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh 
Somewhere ages and ages hence: 
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— 
I took the one less traveled by, 
And that has made all the difference.         
 


<3 Teagan

[LifeInNeon]

Hi everyone. Thanks for the warm welcome