Would this be a total b**** way to come out?

[MarinaM]

(posted to old FB account)

I'm transgendered

Surprised? You should be. Any and all questions, love, hatred, confusion, and forms of harassment can be directed at Emma Mullins (me). You can find me on FB, she is my friend.

For a satisfactory explanation and confirmation that this has all been a very, very long and hot sort of hell:

(link back to my blog)

What does this mean for my family? Nothing. As of now we are working through this. They have known for years and I will continue to provide for them in the best way that I can. If you are offended by finding out in this manner, please rest assured that I do not mean to offend, I just have 30 trillion things on my plate, and this is the fastest way to get rid of half of that load.

I love you all, and I do not want to destroy any personal or family relationships which I value- unfortunately for those who do not understand and can not cope: whether anyone likes it or not I'm transitioning, (male) to female, and I really could use a little support.

- Emma

You have to understand that I'm in total don't F with me mode right now... Maybe I should cool it for a day or so.

[Hrobinson]

it reads ok to me.

Ps the dont F with me is ok too.

[MarinaM]

Done.

I feel like a wrecking ball. I also feel sorry for my wife. I can't explain it, I just couldn't lie to the people I called friends anymore.

[Cindy]

I take it your wife knows and is supportive? If not there could be a problem if you have mutual friends (& of course family).

But what is done is done.

Hugs and good luck

Cindy

[Gabby]

I take it your wife knows and is supportive? If not there could be a problem if you have mutual friends (& of course family).

But what is done is done.

Hugs and good luck

Cindy

Emma I don't know your personal circumstances but your wife needs to show support this action if possible, it cuts down on possible problems.

[Lilydev]

No I think your fine, I get how you feel for the last month or so I have been pretty aggro. I have been contemplating a similar approach to coming out it just seemed like a really great way to quickly deal with the anxiety of coming out.

but I think when it comes to a significant other this can go one of a couple ways. Mine understands what I'm going through and made a really strong statement to me which has really helped cooled the anger and frustration of coming out and wanting people to understand. She had said "you have been working through these problems in your head for quite some time but I have had a short time to process them all." Does she support me and is she sticking with me definitely yes but it was good to hear that I needed to be more considerate of her time to process things.

but I am happy for you and don't worry the bad stuff will all wash out in the end congrats on coming out. 

[Jenna_Nicole105]

See nothing wrong with it at all

[Janet_Girl]

I see nothing wrong with it.  Provided you already came out to the ones you wanted to.  Those people make take it the wrong way.

[Gabby]

A statement is good and I think it will all be ok in the end like everyone says

Even a mildly supportive statement from our significant other takes away the basis for negative feelings towards us by those close to our significant other.  It's a natural reaction in some.

My significant gave me her support,  conditional though it was, it stopped that potential source of bad feeling from emerging.

[Melody Maia]

I can appreciate the don't ->-bleeped-<- with me feeling, but in my opinion, yes, the post was a little aggressive. How your friends react, will of course, depend on your friends. Recently I unfriended a baker's dozen of old friends from Houston who I realized gave me the "we will always love you" followed by the "we need some time to adjust to it" and silent treatment routine. However, I gave them a chance first to show that they would roll with it. Once they didn't, I cut them off. This way I guess is more of a "get with the program or there is the door" approach.

[cynthialee]

It does come off a tad agressive.

[MarinaM]

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000105971299#!/notes/ryan-mullins/im-transgendered-im-done/155558951172462?notif_t=note_reply

There's what I actually put up.

My wife has known for three years, but has never been supportive- playing the "go slowly" card. Yesterday I got tired of her da** games and tore off the bandaid. She is PO'ed.

Fun times.

[cynthialee]

damn
I am sorry that your wife has choosen to not be suportive.

[Jenna_Nicole105]

I love that article you posted and mentioned for people to read who don't understand GID... I'm likely going to borrow it for my page, hope you don't mind.

[Caith]

My wife has known for three years, but has never been supportive- playing the "go slowly" card. Yesterday I got tired of her da** games and tore off the bandaid. She is PO'ed.

Sometimes, this is the only way to handle it.  At some point you have to say it bluntly, because otherwise some people just don't and won't believe you.   I offer you all the love and support I have, and I know everyone else here does, too.  Good luck and I really hope it gets better for you, somehow.

[Lilydev]

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000105971299#!/notes/ryan-mullins/im-transgendered-im-done/155558951172462?notif_t=note_reply

There's what I actually put up.

My wife has known for three years, but has never been supportive- playing the "go slowly" card. Yesterday I got tired of her da** games and tore off the bandaid. She is PO'ed.

Fun times.

I'm sorry that sucks.

I can understand where your coming from I guess the question is what is she really upset at was it the way you went at it or the fact that she has to deal with the fact that you came out. I think if its been 3 years she is just insecure with your decision. Do you think she would do like a therapy session with you?

[Melody Maia]

I am sorry about your wife Emma. Mine was quite miffed that I didn't seem to consult her about the time-table of my transition. I figured that once she decided to divorce me, she really didn't have much of a say.

I was also very taken with the reaction of your friends. It is always nice to get a positive response and to be told things like you are beautiful. I hope things continue to go well for you.

[Jenna_Nicole105]

I've had very similar reactions to my coming out letter and it's indeed great.

Who knew there was all this support out there?!?

Very happy for you Emma! Nice to know I'm not the only one who felt compelled to take this step on facebook.

A person can only hold their true self hostage for so long, I like your taking off the band aid analogy... because that's what it seems like in a lot of ways.

Congrats on all the support you've been shown my friend, take solace in that when you hit the rough patches... I know I plan to.

[Tyler]

Very Happy for you Emma! You deserve so much support!

[MarinaM]

Thanks for the support everyone. Now it's back to business as usual, I felt like a rock star (good and bad) all night with the attention I was getting. I'm not even sure I'll be able to escape it today. (I don't really like it, but hey.) I'm off to get my family a new placed to live and I have an interview for a full time gig at the department of fish and game! Yay for environmental science!