I've made up my mind, I'm heading to Portland.
Long story short I've been wanting to leave my hometown of Joplin, Mo for at least a good six years or so. There's nothing here for me other than family and a few friends and while said people mean a lot to me and will always mean a lot to me, I need and long for more.... and they know it's in my very nature to visit as often as possible anyway, once I leave... so they will still very much be in my life.
In the past I always held myself back, just couldn't get myself to leave and blamed it on things like an increased cost of living and the fact that I over analyze things and would thus find reasons not to go.
I will no longer do so, I think a lot of this stems from recent developments in my life. I'm more or less 'out' to my entire family, both immediate and non immediate with a few exceptions on my non immediate side. I'm also out to most of my friends. Coming out on Facebook was huge and the outpouring of support I've received has been tremendous.
Being true to myself has had nothing but positive results. I feel better about myself... I feel confident that I can accomplish anything I want and I feel confident that I actually will in fact leave Joplin this time and end up in a place that would make me more comfortable expressing myself as I truly am and continuing forward in my upcoming transition.
While I was also considering Chicago for a period, as well as briefly Denver and Austin Texas... The Pacific Northwest is where I want to end up. I have a buddy who is currently living in Portland, and within a week or two moving into a downtown high rise apartment... he knows about Tiffany Marie... fully supportive and just wants me to be happy.
He says I have a place to stay as long as I need to, an advantage I simply don't have in those other places. I just talked with him around an hour ago over the phone, first time I've talked to him outside of facebook in awhile... he was one of the people I mentioned things to on facebook, prior to my entire friends list knowing.
He reiterated over and over how proud he is of me and how much he supports my transition. Things like that mean quite a lot, he also knows of some support groups and the like and he's more than willing to help me get in touch with them upon arrival.
I am looking at sometime this Summer, that gives me a few months to get things in order here....... and then I'm off to the next adventure in my life, in more ways than one.....
Within the coming days, I plan on talking to management at work and beginning the process toward a possible transfer.
Happy just thinking about it.
