Waiting On The World To Change

[Julie Marie]

As I'm driving to work the other day I hear a song on the radio by John Mayer, "Waiting On The World To Change".  I've heard it countless times but this time I listen.

"Me and my friends, we're all misunderstood"

Yeah, I think to myself.  How true.

"So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change"

The song is mostly about the world in general, war in particular.  But then again, aren't we at war within ourselves?

How many times had I thought how great it would be if the world had changed and come to accept me? 

How long did I wait for that to happen?

I now find myself living a life I never thought I could live.  I now know a happiness I could never imagine.  All those years of waiting on the world to change accomplished nothing. 

The world isn't going to change.  We have to.

"We keep waiting
Waiting for the world to change."

Don't.

Julie

[Sandy]

The world isn't going to change.  We have to.

"We keep waiting
Waiting for the world to change."

Don't.

Julie

Right on, sister!  Right on!

[Chaunte]

The world won't change by itself.

We need to force the situation.

Chaunte

[Julie Marie]

The world won't change by itself.

We need to force the situation.

Chaunte

When we live our lives the way we need, when we are no longer ashamed for who we are, the world will see this.  Then the world will begin the change.  But it will take a long time.

Forcing anything will be detrimental.  We can engage in practices that will educate but we still need to accept us for who we are.  Forget changing the world if we can't change ourselves.

Julie

[Jolene4ever]

Hi Julie-by changing ourselves we put the thinking hats on for other people. Projecting a positive image of intersex people is so important. Every person we meet, whether it be the clerk at the store or a Doctor helps our cause to move forward.For all those that have gone before us-thank you-for all those that will follow-be at peace with yourself and move on with confidence. Jolene

[Jillieann Rose]

When we live our lives the way we need, when we are no longer ashamed for who we are, the world will see this.  Then the world will begin the change.  But it will take a long time.

Couldn't have said it any better, Julie.
I realized that I can't even wait for love ones to accept me.  Many of them never will. Now I seem to be changing without even trying. Go figure.

Jillieann

[Melissa]

Yeah I thought the same thing when I heard the song.  I actually have had it set for me myspace page for a while now.

Melissa

[Chaunte]

The world won't change by itself.

We need to force the situation.

Chaunte

When we live our lives the way we need, when we are no longer ashamed for who we are, the world will see this.  Then the world will begin the change.  But it will take a long time.

Forcing anything will be detrimental.  We can engage in practices that will educate but we still need to accept us for who we are.  Forget changing the world if we can't change ourselves.

Julie

I am reminded of an old story...

The Wind and Sun were arguing as to who was the most powerful.  As they argued, they saw a man walking by wearing a coat.

"Watch," the Wind said.  "I will blow that coat from him!"

With that, the Wind began to blow.  The man pulled the coat tight around him.  THe harder the wind blew, the tighter the man held the coat.  This went on until the Wind had spent its energy and gave up.

"It's my turn," the Sun said.

The clouds parted and the Sun shown warm on him.  Soon, the man had opened his jacket.  As the Sun continued to gently shine upon him, the man took off his coat and lifted his face to enjoy the radiant warmth.

The moral is obvious.  The gentlest hand is the soonest winner.

We will force the world to change, but not by marching on Washington and demanding Our Rights.  No, quite the opposite.

We will force the world to change simply by living as ourselves.

Chaunte

[SusanK]

As I'm driving to work the other day I hear a song on the radio by John Mayer, "Waiting On The World To Change".  I've heard it countless times but this time I listen.

"Me and my friends, we're all misunderstood"

Yeah, I think to myself.  How true.

Thanks, I'll listen the next time. I like the song "Move by Yourself" by Donovan Frankenreiter. Just close your eyes and feel the music and words. It's a Zen experience if you let it inhabit your body and soul. You feel good about yourself. Anyway, it works for me.

--Susan--

"If my heart could do my thinking, and my mind begin to feel." - Van Morrison

[Sheila]

When we live our lives the way we need, when we are no longer ashamed for who we are, the world will see this.  Then the world will begin the change.  But it will take a long time.

Forcing anything will be detrimental.  We can engage in practices that will educate but we still need to accept us for who we are.  Forget changing the world if we can't change ourselves.

Julie
[/quote]

Julie, this is what I have been trying to say for a long time. Just live your life the way you want it to be. Do not be ashamed of who you are and also do not be ashamed of the past. The past is the past, we do not need to bring it up, but don't hide from it either. One by one we will change the world and already its is more accepting of us than it was 5 years ago or even 10 years ago. The more people get out and talk about trans issues the more accepting we will be. Keep up the good work Julie.
Sheila

[gennee]

Yes, Julie. We can live positive lives in a negative world.

Gennee

[Maude]

julie m

do you remember an eagles song ?

"we live our lives in chains
and never realize we have the key"

maude

[katia]

while different people in the world may decide to start following their own dreams, [it isn't true] that such an action will make the world a better place.
i'm not implying that it's wrong to persue our dreams, but rather that when we do so, we only make [our lives] a better one and not the whole world. your dream, which is intented for you to enjoy, [does not necessarily improve] the lives of other people, much less the world.
also, we must take into consideration that when you benefit in one way or another, another person out there loses something in order to fulfill your benefits.  this would also mean that the whole world isn't a better place, as another [would suffer] a loss of some sort when you follow your dreams and make [your] life a better one.

[Nikki_W]

julie m

do you remember an eagles song ?

"we live our lives in chains
and never realize we have the key"

Well I know it wasn't you who held me down
Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key

Good song I have the version by Tanya Tucker.

[Reana]

Don't expect the world to change, at least in the lifetime of most of the older ones of us here.  Things aren't really that bad.  Adapting to the world as it currently is should be no harder than the adaptations (non CD related) we are required to make relating to our everyday lives.  No, we can't simply dress as we please at any time or be seen anywhere we wish, without concern, but there is one aspect of this that I can relate to.  I don't feel many will admit to this but there are those that have shared my thoughts relating to the "forbiddenness" of the dressing.  If that aspect disappeared it would take something from the pleasure of the dressing for me.  Our unique fetish, compulsion, or need to dress sets us apart from the general population and gives us such a special escape from the everyday doldrums that would otherwise be experienced.  I, for one, can say that if there was nothing special or forbidden about my dressing desires, I might not have the motivation I now have.       

[Omika]

Julie, I believe the song is right on.  I don't believe they mean sitting on your hands and doing nothing while you wait for the world to change.

Gandhi said, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

I try very hard to be patience, acceptance, understanding, compassion, honesty and effort.  I am (as is everyone else, to varying degrees) a force of spiritual magnetism, and the stronger my convictions, the more likely I am to calibrate others with faltering morals to be in line with my ideals.  It then spreads onwards from them, like the waves of an earthquake.

This is why I am steadfast when it comes to expressing ideals of humanism and compassion.  I do not back down and I do not stop making waves, because there is no cause more just than peace and understanding.  Anyone opposed to these things is opposed to true human progress.

~ Blair

P.S. That story is wonderful, Chaunte.  I hope everyone reads it.

Don't expect the world to change, at least in the lifetime of most of the older ones of us here.  Things aren't really that bad.  Adapting to the world as it currently is should be no harder than the adaptations (non CD related) we are required to make relating to our everyday lives.  No, we can't simply dress as we please at any time or be seen anywhere we wish, without concern, but there is one aspect of this that I can relate to.  I don't feel many will admit to this but there are those that have shared my thoughts relating to the "forbiddenness" of the dressing.  If that aspect disappeared it would take something from the pleasure of the dressing for me.  Our unique fetish, compulsion, or need to dress sets us apart from the general population and gives us such a special escape from the everyday doldrums that would otherwise be experienced.  I, for one, can say that if there was nothing special or forbidden about my dressing desires, I might not have the motivation I now have.       

Then does that mean most crossdressers are more social rebels and fetishists than anything else?  I don't mean to sound judgemental, as I am not passing judgement.  Rather, I'm trying to understand your point of view.  If we all were allowed to wear any clothes we pleased, without negative social stigma, then you wouldn't wear feminine clothing?  I always assumed crossdressers wore female clothing because they simply liked it better, but I think you're helping me to understand it goes a bit deeper than that.

[BeverlyAnn]

   Our unique fetish, compulsion, or need to dress sets us apart from the general population and gives us such a special escape from the everyday doldrums that would otherwise be experienced.    

Then does that mean most crossdressers are more social rebels and fetishists than anything else?  I don't mean to sound judgemental, as I am not passing judgement.  Rather, I'm trying to understand your point of view.  If we all were allowed to wear any clothes we pleased, without negative social stigma, then you wouldn't wear feminine clothing?  I always assumed crossdressers wore female clothing because they simply liked it better, but I think you're helping me to understand it goes a bit deeper than that.

Hmmm, I would consider myself a little bit of a social rebel but I would disagree with the fetishist part for myself because I don't really get any "sexual gratification" from it.  In dressing, I achieve an inner calm or peace and Dee says she can tell when I've gone too long without dressing because I become depressed and easily irritated.  If we were allowed to wear whatever with wanted with no social stigma, I would probably be around 80/90% female clothing to 10/20% male clothing.  There are so many more options with women's clothing than with men's.  Colors, textures, accessories, etc.  I guess you could say I do like it better but because it let's me be me.

Bev

[Reana]

Don't expect the world to change, at least in the lifetime of most of the older ones of us here.  Things aren't really that bad.  Adapting to the world as it currently is should be no harder than the adaptations (non CD related) we are required to make relating to our everyday lives.  No, we can't simply dress as we please at any time or be seen anywhere we wish, without concern, but there is one aspect of this that I can relate to.  I don't feel many will admit to this but there are those that have shared my thoughts relating to the "forbiddenness" of the dressing.  If that aspect disappeared it would take something from the pleasure of the dressing for me.  Our unique fetish, compulsion, or need to dress sets us apart from the general population and gives us such a special escape from the everyday doldrums that would otherwise be experienced.  I, for one, can say that if there was nothing special or forbidden about my dressing desires, I might not have the motivation I now have.       
[/quote]

Then does that mean most crossdressers are more social rebels and fetishists than anything else?  I don't mean to sound judgemental, as I am not passing judgement.  Rather, I'm trying to understand your point of view.  If we all were allowed to wear any clothes we pleased, without negative social stigma, then you wouldn't wear feminine clothing?  I always assumed crossdressers wore female clothing because they simply liked it better, but I think you're helping me to understand it goes a bit deeper than that.


[/quote]

I believe that CDs can enjoy dressing for a number of reasons.  If you will notice in my post, I didn't limit the reason to fetishistic leanings but also mentioned compulsion.  There are those that are helpless to overcome the compulsion to dress as well as those that do get sexual arousal from simply putting on a dress or silky undergarment.  I don't fall totally into either category at present.  I do get extreme mental satisfaction from being able to present a very femme sexy image when totally dressed.  Would I get the same feeling if this activity were commonplace and had no "forbiddenness" attached to it?  Probably not but I don't think of myself as a social rebel. I don't want to imply that I don't realize that the majority of CDs are very serious about their dressing and ability to feel as "womanly" as possible.  The reality is that there are numerous mind sets regarding different persons and their motivation for dressing.  None have an exclusive on being the correct means by which to express the desire to dress femme.   

   Our unique fetish, compulsion, or need to dress sets us apart from the general population and gives us such a special escape from the everyday doldrums that would otherwise be experienced.    

Then does that mean most crossdressers are more social rebels and fetishists than anything else?  I don't mean to sound judgemental, as I am not passing judgement.  Rather, I'm trying to understand your point of view.  If we all were allowed to wear any clothes we pleased, without negative social stigma, then you wouldn't wear feminine clothing?  I always assumed crossdressers wore female clothing because they simply liked it better, but I think you're helping me to understand it goes a bit deeper than that.

Hmmm, I would consider myself a little bit of a social rebel but I would disagree with the fetishist part for myself because I don't really get any "sexual gratification" from it.  In dressing, I achieve an inner calm or peace and Dee says she can tell when I've gone too long without dressing because I become depressed and easily irritated.  If we were allowed to wear whatever with wanted with no social stigma, I would probably be around 80/90% female clothing to 10/20% male clothing.  There are so many more options with women's clothing than with men's.  Colors, textures, accessories, etc.  I guess you could say I do like it better but because it let's me be me.

Bev

I can't disagree with anything you say.  I have, on many occasions, stated to others that my dressing gives me a special serenity that comes from the escape from the real world that it allows.  I will stick to my personal feeling that the "forbiddenness" is a factor for some of us.  Whether anyone is willing to admit this or not is of no consequence to me.  I am very comfortable with being the only one that feels this way if this is the case.  I respect everyone's motivation and understand we are all different and simply need to find what works for us individually.  It's not even important for a person to understand their motivation.  It just happens that I understand mine and am very comfortable with it.     

[Julie Marie]

I can't disagree with anything you say.  I have, on many occasions, stated to others that my dressing gives me a special serenity that comes from the escape from the real world that it allows.

Is it an escape from the real world or an escape from a restrictive society?  Let's face it, if we lived in an open minded and accepting society we'd be dressing and acting the way that's most comfortable to us all the time.  It would be normal and not an escape.

Julie

[andy6432668]

I live the way I want all the time with no problems I dress the way I want in women's clothes all the time but I don't try to pass sure I get looks but that's about all.