comin out didnt go so well

[BrandonJames]

wow its been a week. last weekend i sent out the letter to my dad and step mom and to my mom. so far my mom hasnt called me but she is busy and doesnt always open the mail when she gets it so she still gets a bit of room before i call her to make sure she didnt hurt anyone. my dad......

yeah well on tuesday i got this great text from my step mom, she went on to say that I have crushed my dad and that she and him are compleatly ashamed of me. ( im putting this all in cleanly  and from memory, my gf deleted my texts so i wouldnt continue to look at them agian and agian) my step mom pretty much attacked me for about 2 hours before i got my dad to text me. He finaly said that he cant beleive that I would want to do this to myself and how if god wanted him to have a son he would have a son. (yep he did the god thing. the man to my knowledge has never even gone to church.) by wed. morning I got a text telling me (from dad) that if i continue to do this and follow this path he could not be part of it. said that he didnt want a son wanna be. told me good bye and not to contact him agian. my gf a few hours later ( i guess she had been trying to reason with him, she told me at first she was talking with her mom) got into this nasty argument with him and told him that he was being a neglectful parent right now( it was unfriendly words, not very clean) 
ever since wed ive been living in this fog and i feel myself shutting down for hours at a time. i know that its hard for my gf to see me this way but we live together and it is hard to find other places where i can sort my mind out.  shutting down is my defence, and my reboot can take hours on a normal week. I know that if i give him time to sort out his feelings he might come around but the last time i got into it with him it was becouse he never called me much, I told him that he could call me or get out of my life becouse it was to hard. i was 12 ish and i had to track him down after 8 years so that I could reconsile with him. and he still wont take any part of responsibility for that. Im worried that it will be much longer then that this time but i had to tell him i plan on starting t soon and he was bound to notice the differance.


great news only one brother left to tell, no other family would care and no friends to worry about......I need a new life.

[Nikolai_S]

I'm really sorry to hear it went that badly. All I can say is don't lose hope, some parents don't take it well initially but eventually learn to accept it. Give him time to let it sink in. And let him know that it's his responsibility as your father to stand by no matter what you do, and if he's not willing to do that,he's the "wannabe."

[Robert Scott]

Sorry to hear that ... it's tough!  Know that not everyone will react poorly & no matter how badly things went the reality is they are your parents and they do love you.  Who knows if they will come around but they do love you.  Parents do the best that they can and I am sure they don't mean to cause you so much pain and hurt - they are reacting to something they don't understand -- hopefully one day they will come around.  You have friends that support you.  It is a tough step -- one that had to be done.   You will get through this.  Your life is your own .. follow what you know is right in your heart and head.

My parents rejected me too --- and I hold on to the fact that I do know they love me.  And the faith that one day they will come around.

[BrandonJames]

thanks, I know he will. i think that I just needed  to talk to someone else. my gf is great but I just feel so lost this week. i took up my poetry agian but it didnt help like it used to when i was a teenager. I feel like everything is slippin away and im stumblin round in the dark and cant find that damn rope to pull on.

[xAndrewx]

This is your rope man, any friends and family are your rope so don't forget that. I'm so sorry that he was so pathetic. You're not a wannabe but I'm sure you know that. Walking helped me. Maybe you could go somewhere that you're familiar with and just walk randomly. I say familiar with because if not it's so easy to get lost (at least it is for me). Maybe you could go to a park or grassy area near by to just relax and listen to music if you can. Rob and Nikolai are right.

[insideontheoutside]

I know saying something like "I'm sorry this happened to you" is not really enough. But Like Andrew says, at least you have people here to support you.

I'm always amazed at how a parent can treat their own child so badly. No matter what their opinion of the trans issue, a parent should love and support their own child unconditionally. They made that child in love (at least we can hope it was in love) and then the moment something happens with the child outside of what they consider "normal" or whatever that causes difficulty they basically turn their backs. That's beyond weak. It's certainly not your fault.

I hope that you can find support in your life and get to some point of resolution for your family but if you can't or it doesn't happen right away, there's plenty of people here that can talk to.

[BrandonJames]

this site really has become a place where i can speak without the worry that someone will turn their back on me. thanks for helpin me stay rooted. ill be on later or tomarrow, its time for loud angry music another cigarette, ocd cleaning, and microwavable food. least my house will be clean.


thanks guys