I get scared now. I didn't, before. I get all these scenarios in my head. I don't like showering when nobody else is around. I get nervous when I'm smoking in my driveway middle of the night and a car or, even worse, a person is going by. I'm actually trying to determine the psychology behind these reactions, because they've manifested since transitioning and aren't directly tied with experiences I've had, at least that I'm aware of. Biggest out of them all is just men in general. In my last relationship my boyfriend had a temper, and every time his rage came out, my heart would race and I'd lock up, and have to leave the room. I get that I'm a bit smaller and weaker now, and he was bigger and stronger for sure, but I still don't get why I reacted the way I did. I also used to go walking around here at night as a guy, and I'm super paranoid and nervous about doing it now. Makes me think it's just the same social conditioning that other women go through. It's not like I'd be exempt..
