So difficult.

[Epigania]

I'm sorry to hear that he couldn't adjust.   At least you both tried, that's what's important.  You didn't end in a "If only" state.

There will be others, and they will be falling over themselves to be in your presence, just wait and see! 

[Laruza]

Yeah, that is unfortunate... Unfortunately most of the scenarios I've had similar to that, are just as horrible (I think)... I dated someone online, he thought I was cheating on him (which I was not), but he was okay with my trans status and I had him promise not to tell anyone about it. We both met in this IRC server that we went to concerning a certain topic of interest/hobby, and he started bringing the drama there. I requested to have him banned since he wouldn't be quiet and kept starting stuff. They kicked him from the server, and he came back and broke his promise and told everyone there (quite a few people) about me in the public channel. It was quite devastating, I was heartbroken not really because those people knew about me but because he had promised me he wouldn't tell of it... I almost went to a psychiatric (mental) hospital because I was so suicidal.

But I usually try to tell people about myself before I get too involved with them, it saves some heartache, but it still hurts when they reject you over how you can't help feeling.

[fwagodess]

I'm sorry to hear that he couldn't adjust.   At least you both tried, that's what's important.  You didn't end in a "If only" state.

There will be others, and they will be falling over themselves to be in your presence, just wait and see!

Mine's even worse, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me (and it was some "military bastard") and may have went through one of the nastiest break-ups my town has ever seen. She already knew about my gender status (and I tell this to all prospective SO's.) As with all break-ups I always send a "Dear Jane" letter. (Link to Dear Jane Letter, Link to details on break up, Link to break-up announcement)

I have been on the hunt for someone new and it does not look like I will not be able to find a replacement and by the time I do, it may be too late for me because there is only one male issue (I'm not even going to post that on this forum) that needs to be worked out and will only be resolved in the next relationship.

What's kind of odd, within 10 years of a break-up with a now ex-girlfriend, she always ends up on the wrong side of the law.

[wannalivethetruth]

Well i have to say ive been in a similar situation but he doesnt know im trans...hes my ex now and its going to stay like that because hiding is to hard. Id rather be upfront and save my self time..dissapointment and heartache. I remember those days where you just want to fit in and just be loved for you. Prays goes out to you. Huggsss

[NDelible Gurl]

I am so sorry to read what you have gone through. I've been in some situations similar and it really does knock the wind out of you. All I can say is to stay strong and true to yourself. We are all survivors in one way or another.

Hang in there!

{{{hugs}}}

[fwagodess]

Well i have to say ive been in a similar situation but he doesnt know im trans...hes my ex now and its going to stay like that because hiding is to hard. Id rather be upfront and save my self time..dissapointment and heartache. I remember those days where you just want to fit in and just be loved for you. Prays goes out to you. Huggsss

(scoffs) This is why I have never been with men, but have been sexually assaulted by males two times in my life.

[CaitJ]

(scoffs) This is why I have never been with men, but have been sexually assaulted by males two times in my life.

Not all men are evil or abusers. Not even most men.
Otherwise women would still be getting clubbed over the head and dragged away as a form of courtship.
FYI, lesbians have surprisingly high incidents of abusive relationships.
You're not safe with women.

[fwagodess]

Not all men are evil or abusers. Not even most men.
Otherwise women would still be getting clubbed over the head and dragged away as a form of courtship.
FYI, lesbians have surprisingly high incidents of abusive relationships.
You're not safe with women.

Not according to my research, my upbringing, nor Facebook friends. I am usually safe with women 95 percent of the time since my middle school years.

[CaitJ]

Not according to my research, my upbringing, nor Facebook friends. I am usually safe with women 95 percent of the time since my middle school years.

Ah, anecdata. The most widely used and least reliable source of data.
FYI, your post is extremely insulting and demeaning to trans men. They're just as male as cis men.

[VanOcc]

(scoffs) This is why I have never been with men, but have been sexually assaulted by males two times in my life.

I get that it's difficult to see a group of people defined by the same characteristic as innocent when a few of them have treated you badly, but you shouldn't tar everyone with the same stick. That policy goes for everything, race, gender, sexual orientation etc etc.

I'm sure you'd be offended if I said because of my abusive relationship with my ex girlfriend, I would never date another girl.

[fwagodess]

Somewhat related to this topic (CROSSOVER from ):

I get that it's difficult to see a group of people defined by the same characteristic as innocent when a few of them have treated you badly, but you shouldn't tar everyone with the same stick. That policy goes for everything, race, gender, sexual orientation etc etc.

I'm sure you'd be offended if I said because of my abusive relationship with my ex girlfriend, I would never date another girl.

Over the last two months, I have received nearly 100 complaints against my dating and relationship policies. Apparently someone in my family (and it was not me) created a web site called "Change It Ava - Zinns for Relationship Choices." When I saw that site for the first time and seeing this topic, the MtF's and the Lesbian community topic, and it sounds like one of two serious issues for yours truly.

Ah, anecdata. The most widely used and least reliable source of data.
FYI, your post is extremely insulting and demeaning to trans men. They're just as male as cis men.

There is also an online petition that already has 20 digital signatures.

I'd say that Ava's female dating pool is exclusively bi-women.  If she's with a straight woman (as her previous relationship was), she's thinking of you as a guy; and that's probably why Ava and Christy did not work.

(EDITED from MtF's and the lesbian community topic)

Not all men are evil or abusers. Not even most men.
Otherwise women would still be getting clubbed over the head and dragged away as a form of courtship.
FYI, lesbians have surprisingly high incidents of abusive relationships.
You're not safe with women.

(the last two sentences I do not believe for one minute)
or.
So there is a lot for me to think about in my next relationship. In the meantime, I do encourage to visit that web site "Zinns for Relationship Choices" and voice your concerns, despite personal objections.

[MarinaM]

(the last two sentences I do not believe for one minute)

http://www.kalimunro.com/article_partnerabuse.html- The center that I am part of holds a lesbian sexual abuse survivor group every week.

Women are not to be perceived as harmless- the woman I was dating before my wife was very physical and shoved me down the stairs as hard as she could after an argument that she started. She tried several times to choke me because she thought it was fun, and that since she wasn't as strong as I was she believed it to be harmless. She was verbally abusive as well, yelled at me, stating often that she wished she would have killed me. No, I'm not kidding. I didn't call the police because I believed they would have done nothing. I never even touched her (not even out of self defense), nor did I ever try to restrain her. I have no idea what I did.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[fwagodess]

http://www.kalimunro.com/article_partnerabuse.html- The center that I am part of holds a lesbian sexual abuse survivor group every week.

Women are not to be perceived as harmless- the woman I was dating before my wife was very physical and shoved me down the stairs as hard as she could after an argument that she started. She tried several times to choke me because she thought it was fun, and that since she wasn't as strong as I was she believed it to be harmless. She was verbally abusive as well, yelled at me, stating often that she wished she would have killed me. No, I'm not kidding. I didn't call the police because I believed they would have done nothing. I never even touched her (not even out of self defense), nor did I ever try to restrain her. I have no idea what I did.

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Exactly what is wrong with society today.

There is this one dating and relationship policy of mine  called Jessica's Policy (named after someone I went to high school with was murdered in Kokomo, Indiana--I'll post that on YouTube later tonight or early tomorrow) designed to prevent all kinds of dating and relationship violence and abuse.

But opponents of the policy claim that contracts and written agreements really do more harm than good.

[justmeinoz]

Back to Pam's original post, how are you doing Sis?  Any interest on the relationship front, or are you still being wary?

Cheers, Karen.