should I give up dating before SRS

[amandax]

SInce I went into full time, I got involve more and more interactions with other people who has no idea of my T satus (most of the interactions are not dating related), and I got some guys asked me out, and I did go out for some dates. but Even I did have good feeling about the guy and I believe he like me also, I intented to keep him in distance because my "T" issue special I am still pre-op. I want to have relationship very baddly since sometimes I really feel loney after being struggle along for a long time, but I am so afraid that as soon as we are getting beyong the normal friendship, the physical intimancy is invitable. and I know how hard that thing between men's leg can drive the men in the relationship. So I think even th guy see and accept me as girl and as who I am, that urgly thing between my leg can easily push a normal man away no matter how strong he like me because the relationship which only have emotional connection but no physical connection seem so unrealistic to me. That will be pretty hurting to myself and the guy who try to have relationship with me.

so I think it's better for me to forget dating and keep all the guys in distance until I have my SRS, after that, things may get easier.  Am I making a right decision?    Now it seems I may need to  push my SRS earlier.

[aubrey]

Yes it can be super complicated trying to date before surgery, I wanted so strongly to date in the last few months but made a promise to myself to wait until after surgery because things got really close to being scary more than once (the strong possibility of him finding out while we were intimate because I couldn't bear saying anything) and honestly I felt sorry for whatever guy would even be o.k. with it but then have to wait until months after my surgery to "take it to the next level". I've had so much rejection after disclosing that I can't do it anymore, so I'm going to wait until I don't have to. But each possibility has its plusses and minuses, pre and post-op. There is no final answer Regis, because every answer is wrong, and right. I would say just do whatever you can handle and feel you need to do.

[spacial]

I have to agree with you also.

If a relationship gets to that stage and he dumps you when he finds out, it will hurt like mad.

[Janet_Girl]

It hurts when every you break up.  But really dating at this stage of the game is slippery at best.  SOme have fun, but others get thier heart broken.

You could date lightly, dinner dancing, movies.  But heavy petting could lead to trouble.

I don't date, because of being pre-op.  And I think my g/f might get a wee bit upset.    Am I right Honey?

[Rock_chick]

It's not impossible to have a relationship at this stage of the game (been there, done that), but you will have to be entirely open if things are to work and it's understandable if that's something you don't want to do right now.

And Janet, yes, I think she would have something to say. Hee hee!

[rejennyrated]

Darn right!

[Debra]

In some ways its easier yes. In other's its not.

I chose to NOT stop dating and I met a few guys that were accepting and only saw me as a woman.

That being said, I met MANY guys who wanted nothing to do with me.

So yes it's easier in one sense because you'll never have to deal with the un-accepting guys

But it's NOT easier in the other sense because you won't experience what the good guys have to offer (once you find them)

[Nigella]

I've had several advances from guys and I'm post op but I still keep them at a distance cus I'm still not sure I want to get that involved with someone at the moment. I am friendly with one particular guy and we go out, dance, and we are going on holiday together but I've told him no sex. I don't want to complicate the relationship. I know he likes me but I haven't told him I'm trans and that's why I don't want the sex bit with him as it will be to complicated to explain and he may hate me for not being open enough with him. I also don't want to hurt him or his feelings. I just want to remain good friends and do stuff together without the sex bit getting in the way. Does that make sense.

I guess you have to make the kind of choices that suit you and we are all individuals.

Stardust

[kimberrrly]

Just keep in mind, that when you are post op, you still have some explaining to do which could lead to rejection as well.
And I think you can safely say that the guys that don't mind, usually don't mind what's between your legs.
There are other ways to enjoy sex with a man (like anal sex).
I am pre op and I date. I think it gave me a realistic perspective on my personal situation. I don't have irrational hopes when it comes to SRS, it will not change the fact that I am a transgirl.