Hi Y'all,
People can sense when you are unsure of yourself...whether it is how you look or how well you use a plumbing snake, people just know. The more of ourselves we invest in the outcome of something; the more it becomes the most important thing in the world to us, the more uneasy we become (even if only at a sub-conscious level).
Chunk, I would guess that the reason people treated you "quite nicely" was because you weren't trying to do anything...you were just being yourself. "Differently" is normal in how people treat women and men...Women are generally nicer to men than other women (where competition and personality conflicts can pop up). Men are generally nicer to women than other men...Mom's message of being polite to ladies may have sunk in--or they are just hoping to get lucky, who knows? People also treat you differently depending on how you are dressed...generally the nicer the clothes, the nicer you are treated (except in lower income areas, where you are immediately distrusted--think Hillbillies and Revenuers). I know I get treated differently when I walk into store wearing my nicer work clothes than I do when I walk in 2 hours later in cutoffs and a T-shirt. Is it right? Not really, but that's the way it is.
Ken (dra)/(ny)/(whatever you feel like at the moment),
Please don't make me type that again...LOL. You are right when you say that the more you watch other people, the more they watch you...back to the uneasy thing again. Most of us go through our chores in public on autopilot. Our eyes see other people, but our minds only acknowledge that another person is there, and don't really pay any attention to them...UNLESS...Unless they see you looking at them. Then you get to decide how you are going to react to them, because it is sure that now they are looking at you.
Wouldn't it be nice when they asked, "Is that makeup you are wearing?" or said, "I like your nails. What color is that?" that you could answer them, "What? Oh, yes, I am wearing makeup...why? Do I have a smudge?", and be your true relaxed self? Your self-confidence will win them over and they will like you, even if they think you are a little strange. What more could you ask of someone you just met?
.....Laurie
