"I tend to be the go to bed and hope to not wake up at all sort lately" That would be sad, I guess that it would be a shame to live the nasty part of your life and then just stop before the good part starts.
I used to want that I just was born natural female, but now that I've been giving it more thought, I realized that being a transfemale also has its positive sides. When I look around most natural females are brought up in a way that they have to submit and just take s**t from men and it is bad if you complain about it. I think that transwomen are much stronger and are able to fend for themselfs much better also partialy of the being brought up as a male. And sad as it may sound, I think that because I feel horrible most of the time, I will be able to enjoy things much better. And then it would also mean that I wouldn't be me anymore, the problems I had to and still have to face made me the person I am today and I think, appart from the hole transthing, I'm very happy with myself.
But waking up female now would be pretty nice it think. I wouldn't mind at all.
