My mom is really irritating me.

[Animosity]

My mother is constantly saying these stupid little things to remind me I'm female. Earlier, I made brownies and my brother ate some while remarking, "These are so good; you're a god at baking." My dad agreed, and then my mom butted in and said, "You mean godDESS." I know, it seems like a really dumb thing to get mad about, but it still bugged me.

And there was another time where my brother said something about me smiling a lot, and my mom said, "Well, we women smile more often then men, we're different." When I got mad at her for it, she said in the most exasperated, sarcastic tone, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you're a BOY. FORGIVE ME." I ended up in a miserable mood for the rest of the day because of that. I despise how much my mother seems to take pride in the fact that I'm her only so-called daughter. These remarks seem to be getting more and more frequent, and it's just hard for me to deal with it. I have the worst feeling my mother will never speak to me again if I come out; either that or she'll claim I have some mental disorder. 

[PandaValentine]

Wait so you're not out to her?

I found my mom did the same thing, however it was the more I became more like a typical guy, mainly because of the changes on T. I know what you mean, it's hard to just ignore it or not let it bother you so much. When my mom does this I get angry, and I stop talking to her. Once the little fights over I tell her to watch what she says more often and I won't get as mad, it's about thinking before you speak. But then I was never afraid of my parents to feel I should back down and take that sort of thing.

Honestly I have no idea what to do about mom's like this. Mom's can be highly sensitive about femininity, especially if they feel like the only one. If you're really bothered but don't want to come out, say it sounds like sexism to you, or just walk away. Some parents eventually stop when they realize you're just going to walk away every time or get annoyed, others like mine, continue to do it after a few short days in between.

It's possible she may take it like that, possible she'll be the opposite or somewhere in between. That's the worst part about coming out, never knowing, no matter how liberal or how conservative a parent is, you have to expect the worst or be surprised by the best.

Anyways good luck with all that. Just thought I'd add my own two cents that didn't really make a difference to the entire situation now that I look at it....

[kalshady]

What do you know, this post actually kinda helped me out too. im out to my parents but my mom (more so than my dad) does that same thing. im not on T or anything, but ever since i came out she jus uses the word girl, daughter, etc. more frequently and keeps making little remarks that dig at me. its really irritating and i wasnt sure how to handle it. basically i jus tell her to stop or correct her.

"Honestly I have no idea what to do about mom's like this. Mom's can be highly sensitive about femininity, especially if they feel like the only one. If you're really bothered but don't want to come out, say it sounds like sexism to you, or just walk away. Some parents eventually stop when they realize you're just going to walk away every time or get annoyed, others like mine, continue to do it after a few short days in between." what panda said here is really effective, if you show that it bothered you (in a slightly but not overly pissed off way) and just dont respond or walk away, that can start to get the point across.

i can def relate wit how irritating it gets

[N.Chaos]

Man, Animosity that's just...mean. My girlfriend did that briefly while we were fighting a lot over this but she got over it, I can't say I've experienced it from my mom though. My mom seems to kind of...forget that it exists, really. She still calls me girl/daughter/slave name, but I've yet to call her on it (Mainly because I'm not out to my dad).

Panda's right though, that whole uncertainty is what makes coming out such a damn nightmare. Are you stuck there, or do you have the option to go somewhere else (even for short periods of time)? That could help, at least with keeping your stress lower and your sanity intact. Good luck though, that's got to be obnoxious.

[CFPrice]

Since coming out my mother is a bit better about reminding me of the female things, and my dad is entirely worse. I no longer have to hear about how I can't get married in a sleeveless wedding dress (I have a tattoo... not to mention no intentions of marrying anyone in any dress), or how I should learn to cook/sew/dance/insert "female" thing here. My parents don't respect the name/pronoun thing though, which annoys the heck out of me.

I'm confused too about whether your mother knows or not. Or is it that she thinks she knows, but you haven't told her? I had to pick quite a few fights with a close friend when he was being stuck in his ways about my name and using it every chance he got. Didn't help we call each other *first name last name* and he had to learn two new ones! Now a year later he's gotten a bit better. Maybe your mom will loosen up after you tell her and some time? Here's hoping.

[Matt Chase]

hey same thing my mom does the "US GIRLS" thing too sometimes not as bad as yours but enough for me to be like "really mom where are your eyes"

women scare me they are like a giant posse and if you turn against them they will all find out and hunt you down

somewhat unrelatedly though the person who does this to me the worst is a male friend of mine. i told him that i'm trans last summer but he decided to completely ignore it. for example, i was in the car with him & my best friend who i'm out to a little while back and my best friend was saying something like, 'you're a pretty decent actor' in reference to a show we're doing, and the other friend said over him, 'actress. actress. actress,' and it pissed me all kinds of off so i can understand the goddess thing getting on your nerves.

[N.Chaos]

Price's post reminded me of this, I absolutely HATE when people try to take my "girlie" qualities and try to say that makes me less of a man. I'm a complete cooking fanatic, I spent most of last weekend sewing hats out of old sweaters, I completely go gooey over cute things, I sit around reading books under quilts with Ben, ->-bleeped-<- like that. And I've had people try to say that since I'm doing that, I can't POSSIBLY be a guy.

Yeah, lets completely ignore the fact that most famous cooks are men.
And it's SO unmanly to be self-sufficient and know how to cook.
And that last one, well...damnit I'm fruity as hell and I don't give a rat's ass.

It's just...agh. It's so, so stupid. FFS, one of my friends that does it is almost as bad as me around puppies. AND he's obsessed with his clothing being a certain brand, and all manners of really pointless things. Do I call him out on it? Hell no, I'm not a jackass like that.  Pfffft, people.