Homophobic Sue Stanton?

[Shana A]

Homophobic Sue Stanton?
Posted by helenboyd – April 3, 2011

http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/2011/04/03/homophobic-sue-stanton/

Change.org has a petition up in support of a gay club that's gotten some homophobic response from city government over noise complaints.

[...]

    In May of 2009, Loretta Lutfy, proprietor of The Cottage, along with family friend and local gay rights advocate, Mike Zewe, met with City Manager Susan Stanton to seek assistance to stop the harassment.  Instead of receiving support from Ms. Stanton, they were dismissed from her office with homophobic remarks.

    Ms. Lutfy says, "She (Stanton) first asked if I would consider stopping the Tea Dance for awhile.  I responded that I would close my entire business first. She dismissed Mike and me from the office ending the conversation by saying that "men in dresses, and men dancing with men is offensive.  If you continue, you will just have to suffer the consequences.'"

[V M]

Hmmm    I wonder if they could sue Sue Stanton and her unneighborly buddies

[Vicky]

I dunno -- I can read that one two ways.  Sounds like both sides got more than a little stuffy and stiff necked.  The restaurant took an "all or nothing attitude" which ends a discussion very fast the wrong way.  If the restaurant had stopped one activity for a few times, and the complaints still came in when it was not doing them, then its much clearer which side indeed has the problem.  Not enough for me to go on to pick a side.

[Sandy]

One of the respondents on MHB posted a link to the google document of the minutes of the meeing:
https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B9djbsiS525vMDA3MTAwODMtOTExNy00NGZlLWJjZjItOGRjYWNkNTM3NTFl&hl=en&authkey=CN38seED&pli=1

According to this, in 2004 (well before Stanton even came out in Largo) the restaurant had been given a zoning permit to extend an awning for extended outdoor seating with the specific exclusion that they do not have outdoor entertainment of any kind.

The upshot being that The Cottage repeatedly violated their zoning authority and received noise complaints as a result of that violation by having outdoor entertainment and music, not that there were "men in dresses" or to harass patrons.

Ms. Stanton goes on to enter into the record her own background on experiencing harassment and discrimination and some of the emails that she has personally received and some from the Change.org petition site.

She then goes on to enter into the record a resolution reaffirming the the city's commitment to full equal rights and a motion to form an official inquiry into the matter of the noise complaints.

I would personally give Ms. Stanton the benefit of the doubt on this one and want to see what develops.  I think the issues here pre-date the arrival of the current city manager and think that there may be a bit more going on behind the scenes.

The Change.org petition seems somewhat biased in their claim and provide no other supporting information:
http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-lake-worths-harassment-and-homophobic-discrimination-of-the-cottage-restaurant#?opt_new=t&opt_fb=t

-Sandy

[Dana Lane]

With Susan's attitude it wouldn't surprise me. After all, she isn't a transsexual like other transsexuals (who are men in dresses to her). What a huge FAIL it was to cover her story years ago. Probably set us back quite a bit.

[Shana A]

Trans City Manager Is Alleged To Have Made Homophobic Remarks
by: Autumn Sandeen
Sun Apr 03, 2011 at 11:00:00 AM EDT

http://pamshouseblend.com/diary/18978/trans-city-manager-is-alleged-to-have-made-homophobic-remarks

    Since its enactment, PBSO has only enforced the new noise ordinance in an equal and indiscriminate manner. The only direction we have received from any city official, including the city manager, is to do just that- enforce the ordinance equitably and consistently. Rest assured neither I, or any of my staff, has been given any direction to the contrary and we certainly have not been directed to single out or target any business, group, or individual when enforcing this or any other city ordinance. (bolding and underline added)

[...]

The allegations sounds believable because City Manager Stanton has history with stating unfortunate things. Specifically, the St. Petersburg Times reported the following in their 2007 piece Susan Stanton's lonely transformation:

    Susan [Stanton] has said all along that she's not like other transgender people. She feels uncomfortable even looking at some, "like I'm seeing a bunch of men in dresses."

[V M]

So basically the bar has been misbehaving and breaking the city ordinances and is now crying for getting spanked?

[Lacey Lynne]

God, I cannot believe this!  Is this really THE Susan Stanton of CNN Fame?

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1003/14/cp.01.html

Hey, my for-now wife and I watched that entire CNN special together.  If any of you saw that entire CNN special about Susan Stanton, remember her gendery therapist? 

THAT WAS MY GENDER THERAPIST ALSO!!!

She and I discussed (off the record) Susan Stanton's case after that CNN Special.  Sue was Dr. Farrell's client about 1.5-2 years before I was.  Man, this bums me out!  I cannot believe this!  After all she's been through!  Dang!

Like, this has set us back years.  Thanks, Sue ... for nothing!

    Lacey

[Sandy]

People are gullible and so ready to cluck their tongues especially when there is a possibility of scandal.

And in this day of Fox Noose TV, the more outrageous the scandal, the less important truth becomes.

Shirley Shirrod
NPR
ACORN...

We in this community who are all so very susceptible to such trial by innuendo should be the last judge.  I refuse to think that this issue is as black and white as some are wanting it to be and that the alleged conversation even took place!

If you insist on judging without evidence take this into consideration:

Most of us in this community have spent quite a bit of time in bars, mostly gay and gay friendly, but bars never the less.  Now romantic images of "Cheers" aside, has anyone ever met a bar owner who was moral and ethical and responsible?

But the position of City Manager requires such qualities to be demonstrably true before any legal or technical qualities would even be considered for such a position.

This is a slippery slope, people.  Let's not start turning on each other and becoming no better than those who pre-judge us.

-Sandy

[Janet_Girl]

I does not surprise me to hear that Susan use homosexual remarks.  One of two things come to mind.  1) Everyone is entitled to their opinions.  Opinions are like butt holes, every one has one and some stink.

2) Susan has forgotten where she came from.  She has gotten where she wanted and then turned her back on the community.

[Dawn D.]

I feel I've held my tongue on Susan Stanton for long enough. In this situation I think Sandy is spot on!

This is a slippery slope, people.  Let's not start turning on each other and becoming no better than those who pre-judge us.

And  Janet, I admire and respect you as well. However, remember that wise quote about opinions? While I don't think your opinion is foul, I do think that Sue Stanton was thrust into the spotlight way too soon for her to even have had time to contemplate every aspect of what just the average Transperson life is like or about. That original catapulting was first wrongfully pursued by an overly ambitious reporter wanting for sensationalism. And secondly, I feel, because of Susan's position in life before transition and that her's had become a sensationalized tale nationally, the leadership within the trans community didn't adequately vet Susan for who she is. Placing her up on a pedestal far sooner than she was ready for as an example of discrimination, admiration and inspiration. What a whirl wind of emotion that had to be for her.

Sure she said some things that are likely what she feels/felt at the time. It doesn't mean that she has not, over the last few years, adjusted her way of thinking about trans people. As I see indicated in the documents provided, she's even asking for reaffirmation of the city's non-discrimination ordinance! Shouldn't that count for some reconsideration on our part as a community?

I swear. Just like the idiotic Tea-partyers and their seemingly symbiotic relationship with the republican party, more and more it's like we too are trying to eat our own with regard to one person who miss-steps and is bansihed to the leper colony for life, and given no chance for redemption.

Truly, this whole thing smells to high heaven as a witch hunt. But, from which direction the hunters, with their pitchforks and lanterns are coming from is unknown, or who they even are.


Dawn   

[V M]

I'm just trying to understand it all a bit better 

[Dana Lane]

Susan Stanton has not, that I have seen, ever apologized for the words she said that caused damage to the public's perception of transsexuals. Until she does, I believe she has proven her stance already, many years ago.

A lot of us are "men in dresses" which she stated more than once.
It is okay to leave us behind on ENDA.

[Lacey Lynne]

Of course, Sandy's comment is balanced and wise.  By no means am I intending to foment controversy or anger regarding Susan Stanton.  Believe me, I'd be the last person to want to stroke up a controversy about this issue. 

Granted, she went through Hades.  However, she is intelligent, educated and (I'm presuming) affluent.  Tact and diplomacy would be expected from such a person, especially one who, let's face it, is a professional politician of sorts.  She, above all people, really should know better than to say such things.  One would guess that she's making six-figures per annum again or mighty close to it.  That heals a lot of hurting, folks.  Many of you also make incomes like hers.  I give you all credit for your accomplishments.  You've earned 'em.  All I'm saying is people like Susan Stanton should be more grateful and more emphathetic.  Sure, her life roiled.  Believe me, it could have been a lot worse.  It IS for some of us on these forums. 

Tell you what, people like Janet Lynn and me will trade places with you for a year.  You'll know an entirely new meaning of the word Hell.  Sorry, but Susan Stanton way bums me out with what she said.  She does.  Can't help being upset.  Her life has turned out a whole heck of a lot better than some of ours have.  What about Janet's SRS?  What about my laser/electrolysis treatments and being 1 year and 4 months on HRT and still not being fulltime because of this beard?  The cure for Janet, me and others like us?  Cash.  Susan Stanton has that.  Forgive me while I smolder.  Nobody is more deserving of SRS or wanting it more than our beloved Janet Lynn; however, well, you know where I'm going with this.  Susan Stanton should count her blessings.

Yes, I forgive her.  However, she and I came from the very same counselor and LGBT Community.  It's like somebody you grew up with making good and then finking out on the old neighborhood and friends.  This is a sensitive subject for me personally for this reason.  Finally, Sue is only human, after all.  She is forgiven.  However, hopefully, she will display more kindness and tact in the future. 

   Lacey

[Dawn D.]

Hi Lacey,

At the risk of being presumptive, I will assume that you were directing your comment to my last post? If not, my apologies. Yet, I feel I can offer some form of cogent response to your view.

Envy of what another person has will not heal or make better any one person's situation. Supposition of another person's position in life can lead to great misunderstandings and disappointment when you may find that they're life is no better than your own.

While I do not doubt that Susan Stanton is in a well paid position. Her's, it is. What and how she chooses to relinquish it, is her's also. Please don't let yourself be jaded by the appearance of another person's wealth, or the lack of it for that matter. Yes, money is an issue for so many of us. And, quite likely for the  overwhelming majority of us. I'll place my own hat in that ring. But, we are not the only group or class of people who have need for money to aid in their problems. I'm certain you realize that, no doubt. I personally wish there were enough public funds that could solve all of our issues that we do so need to have solved. Sadly, that's a pretty illusive dream in these times.

Susan Stanton's position in life is not the issue. Let's not let it become so.


Dawn   

[Sandy]

At what point does it become enough?

At what point is the public flaying of a persons character sufficient recompense for the ill-chosen words and missteps?

Ms. Stanton did not start out to become the spokesperson to an entire people.  Indeed she had been given the initial indications that it would be a non-issue.  A bit of a twitter and quickly put in the past.  The way it should be.  The way it rarely is.

Instead it was a media frenzy of the first order.  With her at the very center of a maelstrom.

She was ill prepared for the glare of the spotlight and the microscopic examination of literally every part of her life.  Something I think few of us could endure.

And, yes, she made some very public, very stupid blunders.  No one, least of all her, would doubt that.

And, no, she has never apologized.  After a number of stinging rebukes, she attempted to pull out of the spotlight and return to some semblance of privacy to build a life that was very publicly shattered.

And now after starting that new life, finally away from the armchair quarterbacking and second guessing, comes this situation which threatens yet again to put her in the spotlight she does not seek out.  Perhaps brought about by events that predate her arrival by people who may feel that they have a leverage in a confrontation they would not normally have.  Hoping to cash in on a perceived weakness.

So has it been enough?  Have we finally satisfied our bloodlust for retribution and recrimination?  Or do we want more?  Will an apology suffice?  If she came on CNN and said "I'm sorry to the world in general and the trans community in specific for my stupid words and actions."  Would we leave her alone, or continue to pursue her and take every opportunity for any mis-step whether perceived or actual to bring up issues of the past?  How many of you have said things you later regretted, but had thrown in your face time and again?

She has called for an independent investigation into the issue and has made a motion to re-affirm the city's stance on diversity and acceptance.

If she is found to be responsible for any mistakes she should rightly be publicly and appropriately reprimanded.

But if she is found innocent, will all those who publicly libeled her apologize?  Would you?

We DO NOT have all the information!  We are NOT judge and jury!

We should leave her the ->-bleeped-<- alone to do her job until such time as the issue is resolved by the people directly involved!

-Sandy

[Janet_Girl]

Exactly right Sandy.  And she did not really want to be the face of any movement.  She is just trying to live her life.

[Joelene9]

  I think we should back off more than a little on flaming Ms Stanton until we get more info.  A respondant and myself in the enGender article googled "The Cottage Lake Worth FL" and found nothing but the local restaurant reviews and listings.  You would think the media could have a field day with this?  At least a blurb in the local paper with those kind of allegations?  This stinks of an owner of an establishment at odds with the city zoning and noise ordinance people.  This happens all of the time.  Unless the police are involved or something really bad was said, usually no press.  The "men in dresses" allegation certainly would!
  A local diner owner near me was in a dispute with the county over certain ordinances that had to be enforced due to the special permit to have his diner on residential property.  Well, things got out of hand and the owner got in a fistfight with the county sheriff, not a good idea.  The county commissioners then revolked his permit.  The diner is closed and it and the property are for sale, stipulation is that the diner is moved off of the property.  This diner was one of those that had a unique shape to it and was a local icon that has been moved twice to different sites since the late '50s.  Something like this does get in the press. 
  Joelene

[Lacey Lynne]

@ Dawn D:

Hi Lacey,

Hey, Dawn!

At the risk of being presumptive, I will assume that you were directing your comment to my last post? If not, my apologies. Yet, I feel I can offer some form of cogent response to your view.

Hon, actually, I was not specifically addressing anything you said.  However, a forum is all about discourse.  By all means, speak your mind freely and I will listen with an opened mind.

Envy of what another person has will not heal or make better any one person's situation. Supposition of another person's position in life can lead to great misunderstandings and disappointment when you may find that they're life is no better than your own.

You are quite right.  While it sounds like I envy Susan her job and the others on here with well-paid jobs their jobs, in fact, I do not.  They earned them.  They deserve them.  While I had all the ability in my youth to do ANYTHING I wanted to do, I chose my course and am living with its consequences.

While I do not doubt that Susan Stanton is in a well paid position. Her's, it is. What and how she chooses to relinquish it, is her's also. Please don't let yourself be jaded by the appearance of another person's wealth, or the lack of it for that matter. Yes, money is an issue for so many of us. And, quite likely for the  overwhelming majority of us. I'll place my own hat in that ring. But, we are not the only group or class of people who have need for money to aid in their problems. I'm certain you realize that, no doubt. I personally wish there were enough public funds that could solve all of our issues that we do so need to have solved. Sadly, that's a pretty illusive dream in these times.

Girl, this is a cogent and correct assessment you make here.  Kudos to you for making it.  Know what?  I agree with you.  I really do.

Susan Stanton's position in life is not the issue. Let's not let it become so.

Again, you are quite right.  While it seems that I'm making this "the issue," it is not.  Sorry if I gave the impression that it was.  Really, I mean no malice to her or anybody for that matter.  Like anybody else, I'm human with my flaws and foibles (God knows!), and her remarks got to me.  Just a personal pet peeve.  No biggie in the grand scheme of things.

Peace & Hugs       Lacey

[tekla]

I've read the stuff from the places she's worked, and I know city managers, and I've seen photos of the places she manages and they suck...SUCK suck.  Sterile, soulless bunch of cookie cutter Republican law and order, big box stores, strip mall hell.  She's just another very upper middle class Republican creep thinking she knows best how other people should live.  I really hate city managers as a general class.  Good cities don't have them, great cities never even considered them.