Weird outing with new friend...

[wannalivethetruth]

Okay...ive met this tranz lady though a friend of the local lbgt group. I have no one to transport me to atlanta for my app to start hrt, but her. she is willing to take me. We talked for a while..but i feel extremly uncomfty around her.  Me, ive always beem femenine...but she is 40 and im 18 and she acts like a typical guy, to be honest. I dont know if it was the age difference or what. She was constantly talking about how fine women were while we walked the halls of the mall.ilove guys..but on the other hand, shes into women. She even looked at women butts..she asked me if iwanted to go back to her place...i really made upexcxuses to avxoid this.it worked. Is there somethingx wrong?? i just feel weird!!  Oh btw...she is not onx any hrt ..we see the same therapist though.

[Melody Maia]

I would say listen to your instincts. Just because she is trans, doesn't mean she is harmless. If she hasn't started HRT yet she also still has her T driven sex drive. I would look for alternate means of transportation if possible.

[wannalivethetruth]

I really am thinking about it. Its just weird, like you said, agut feeling. i dont want to make her seem like a bad person, but to be honest...there are those type of people out in the world, sadly. When she ask if i want to go back to her home...i get scared, honestly. We went to the park and when we were leaving, she had asked if i want to go back to her house..nd that i could leave my car at the park and that shed bring me back....so weird to me :/

[Melody Maia]

Yes, that would ring warning bells for me too.

[Becka]

I'm a firm believer in listening to gut feelings.  I try not let them rule my life, but when I get really strong negative feelings about a person or place or situation I take extra time to check things out.  The incidents you describe also send off small warning chimes for me too.

From what you've said, you just met this person and are getting weirdlly vibes.  It might be nothing more that just your and her personalities clash at some level.  That alone would be enough to not want to spend what sound like many hours in a car going to another city with.   Maybe after get to know her more it'll smooth out, maybe it won't.  For what it's worth, and not withstanding that you were introduced through a mutual friend,  if I were in your shoes, I'd keep it at neutral locations at best for a long time so I'd either get a chance to be comfortable, or to say nope, it's not working.

[Just Shelly]

Yes, this is strange. I wasn't even comfortable hanging with someone like that when I was "one of the guys" I definitely don't consider myself an ultra fem trans or a girly girl, but I also would feel very uncomfortable relating with someone like this.

On the other hand I don't like being with another trans and have to hear "oh isn't he a hunk" every time. To me this is very adolescent behavior on both parts.

I am STILL as of yet attracted to women, I don't see that changing but I noticed because men treat me different I look at them different now.

I was at a scrapyard the other day, (ya don't ask) I was presenting male (if you call it that) but the "guys" really were nice to me, so not sure who they thought I was. Its nice to be treated nicely, not that it never happened when I was a guy, but......

6 months ago I would of never set foot in a place like this for fear of how I looked. I do feel somewhat uncomfortable, but thats only because I don't know what gender I will be viewed as.

I definitely look at women's behinds, but in jealousy or "is she nuts wearing that". There are very few, if any times I look at a female and think WOW I'd like to............I never did that too much as a guy but now never. I think I have become frigid

Shelly

[Padma]

Especially around transitioning, if a situation is making you feel unsafe rather than safe, step out of it. I can't tell anything about that woman from "this distance" but it's clear that you aren't at ease with her, and the last thing you need is someone who makes you feel uncomfortable - like you said, what you're looking for is support, and if discomfort is the price to pay for the practical help of getting a lift, I think that price is too high.

[Cindy]

Anytime you feel uncomfortable about a person, particularly in a sexual innuendoe way (not meant to be a pun ) walk away if not run away. There are predators out there. Be cautious.

Cindy

[wannalivethetruth]

Maybe its our personality clash...but who knows!! ill just keep a pocket knife on me when imaround her.

[blackMamba]

She sounds pretty normal to me.  She's into women and she would like to get to know you better.  Have you told her you aren't a lesbian?  And maybe drop her hints like... my boyfriend is this really big football player, and I only date men...  Most people will take the hint, however sometimes you need to be more direct.  Just tell her you appreciate the ride, but that's where it ends.  She is probably harmless, she just sounds lonely. 

But if she starts invading your physical space, then you need to speak up immediately and be firm.  Don't worry about polite in this situation.

[Serra]

Maybe its our personality clash...but who knows!! ill just keep a pocket knife on me when imaround her.

That's a bandaid on the bigger problem.  Better to not let yourself get into a situation where you NEED a pocketknife.
Stick to neutral, public places.  If she questions it, just say you're trying to get over public anxiety, and she's helping.  Nothing disarms like a compliment.
And to your original post, I may not make such crass comments, but I certainly check girls out.  Why not?

[Gabby]

To me the intention is clear, she wants to get with Rose, those comments about women is an indirect sexual come on, I'm pretty certain Rose is in no danger, I'd tell her it's strictly non sexual relationship in the kindest way possible.  And as Yoxi said the price of a lift from such a person?  Rose is 18 this is completely inappropriate.

[-CRaSH-]

Yeah topic creator, sounds like she wants to have... Well.. You know.

But umm. Are you attracted to her?

If you're not it should be easier to tell her off.

[RabbitsOfTheWorldUnite]

Sounds like you could use a new friend. If I were your best friend i'd tell you to get as far away from that other person as you can. But, I'm an eight hour drive from atlanta so if you're not paying for gas and the appointment is duriing the week, there's no feasible way that I can help you out.
But for to say:
Keep your distance from bad vibes, that's what they're there for!
And keep as close as possible distance to good vibes, that's what batteries are for!!!

[Chantal185]

I can see how that would send you red flags. I don't think I would be comfortable around a transwoman like that either. I'm never comfortable around men, and if she really acts manly that would just kind of freak me out a bit. Not that she is a bad person. But if you are trans you don't stare at womans butts and make cracks about girls how guys do. That is just so male. I'm so afraid of giving off any male vibe and to a transwoman you would think she would try to act feminine or at least neutral. I mean we are transitioning unless you are an autogynaphiliac guy who wants a woman's body but is a football crazed guy who spits and acts in chauvinistic ways it would really really freak me out. Again I am not saying your friend is like that. But I am sure some MTFs are, or psuedo MTFs I guess you would call them.

[wannalivethetruth]

Yeah, she told me before she was lonely and she doesnt have any family ect. She actually made a comment like "id take my wife to the club and we were swingers and she would let black guys bang her and after they orgasm in her vagina(used the p word instead) id eat their semen (but used the explicted word instead) ver weird!!

[-CRaSH-]

Yeah, she told me before she was lonely and she doesnt have any family ect. She actually made a comment like "id take my wife to the club and we were swingers and she would let black guys bang her and after they orgasm in her vagina(used the p word instead) id eat their semen (but used the explicted word instead) ver weird!!

I find this post kind of funny because I am a black guy .