This is a little something I've been working on in order to offer a way to deal with the times where you have built up frustration and times of uncertainty. It involves getting in contact with your inner self and is a sort of grounding exercise / lightly guided meditation. I guess people will likely get varying amount of use from it, but it often helps me personally in times of heartache so I offer it in the hopes it may be of some use to someone.
There are a few things I should explain before I get onto discribing the technique itself:
- I could very easily have gone into painstaking detail about the visualisations but I didn't for two reasons. Firstly, because it's designed to be a personal experience and that kinda gets diluted if I go and tell you what to see and hear etc, so you will have to do a large majority of the work here. Hopefully, however, the results will be worth it. Secondly, different things have different meanings for different people, and asking someone to visualise something specifically may evoke different feelings in different people, sometimes having an entirely different effect than that intended.
- The technique itself will be placed in italics, and it's really up to you how you feel is the best way to attempt it (if indeed you do, and don't think it's some kind of new-age hooey, lol). The non-italic parts are my comments on the different aspects and hopefully may make things clearer (or not, lol). Depending how comfortable you feel with the sound of your own voice (I don't, at all), it might be of some use if you record the actual narrative.
- I've had to improvise somewhat on the relaxation part of the exercise in order to avoid associations with bodily sensations (which, although not doing so will enable faster results, it kinda defeats the whole point somewhat). I'm not entirely sure how effective this improvisation is, since I can't really apply it to myself (I've spent so long doing this that it's kinda automatic and I use a keyword trigger to bypass it) so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
I'll try and cover anything else as and when.
Alrighty, down to business.
Before you start, find a quiet place where you won't be disturbed. Somewhere you feel comfortable and will be able to relax free of distractions. (How long you give yourself for this is up to you, but I've found a minimum of half an hour is pretty good, and time tends to go faster than you think, so... maybe make sure the phone isn't likely to ring for that long, or that you aren't expecting anyone to come knocking on your door etc)
Once you've done this, either sit or lie down in a position you find comfortable, one which offers the least amount of bodily sensation. It may just be on your bed, or a comfy chair, wherever you feel most comfortable.
The first stage is one of relaxation. and in some ways is the most important part of the whole thing. What you're going to do is to free yourself from a connection to your physical form and take a trip inwards for a little while.
Once you're comfortable, close your eyes and start to focus on your breathing. Listen to it as you breathe in and out. Take a few minutes to do nothing else but focus on the sound of your breath. You don't have to feel anything, just listen to the sound your breath makes as you breathe in and out.
Slow your breathing gradually, making each inhalation and exhalation longer each time you do it. (Counting helps a lot with this, regulating your breathing is one of the best ways to relax and if you can slow your breaths by making each a certain length of time, four seconds in and three out works for me, you'll find yourself getting more and more relaxed without having to do much of anything else.)
Now, the next thing is to visualise a descending staircase. This can look like anything you want, different people automatically think of different things when hearing the same words, so there's no right or wrong. A heavy stone staircase, one of those spiral numbers, wooden... anything. The only thing to know is that: This staircase has ten steps. No more, no less. Ten steps. See it clearly in your mind's eye, descending before you into the darkness, a comforting darkness, almost beckoning you.
The next part is perhaps a little difficult and will get easier with practice. What you do is: Visualise yourself at the top of the staircase. But do not see yourself from the outside, that is to say with this, you have no body. You're a spark of consciousness, a ball of light whatever works for you. For some reason whenever I do this, I always end up feeling like a Slinky, but the important point is to get what it would feel like if you were standing at the top of this staircase without actually seeing yourself standing there (if you need help with the visualisation, go to the top of your staircase and look down it without looking at yourself during any point).
When you have this clearly in your mind: Focus on the sound of your exhales. With each one, visualise yourself descending downwards, down the staircase, counting each step as you go. (with ten being the very top one, and one being the very bottom)
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... step ten, you're at the top of the staircase, looking down as it descends beneath you.
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... you take a step downwards. Step nine. You feel heavier, like the outside world is just a bit further away.
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... take a step downwards. Step eight. The sound of your breaths are getting more distant, you feel heavier still.
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... take a step downwards. Step seven. You start to see a faint light at the bottom of the staircase, very faint. The world outside feels far away now. There's only you, and the steps, and the faint light.
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... take a step downwards. Step six. The light from the bottom of the staircase gets a bit brighter. The steps above you start to fade. You cannot feel anything, only your gaze is held on the light at the bottom of the steps.
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... take a step downwards. Step five. Even the sounds of your breaths are starting to fade. The light grows brighter still and you start to make out the outline of a door at the bottom of the steps, a warm light coming from underneath it.
Breathe in... stillness... breathe out... take a step downwards. Step four. You see the door clearly now. What sort of door is it? Does it have a handle? Is it wooden? Stone? Something else? Are there any markings on it? What colour is the light coming from underneath it?
Take a step downwards. Step three. The door starts to open as you descend and you take your first look at what's beyond it. The light is brighter still, and creeps towards your feet as the door opens.
Take a step downwards. Step two. You're almost there, the steps behind you have disappeared and you feel a compulsion to take the final step downwards and through the door. The door is almost completely open now, just waiting for you to...
Take a step downwards. Step one. The last one. You can see inside the doorway now. What's beyond the doorway? Is it a place you recognise or somewhere new to you? Is it indoors or outdoors? What time of day is it? What can you smell or touch? You find yourself too caught up in finding out these things to notice anything else, there's just you and this location and for the final time you...
Take a step downwards.
You know where this place is, you know it's a place you feel safe, a place you feel comfortable. It's your place. The place you can come to be at ease, to try to make sense of things, or just the place to come when you want to find peace.
Take some time now to explore your place, the smells, the sights, the sounds.
While you're exploring your place, you sense a presence behind you. Someone else is there. Someone you know, someone who feels familiar. You turn around and see them standing there, in the doorway, looking straight at you.
Who is this someone? What do they look like? What are they wearing, what colour are their eyes? Their hair? How tall are they? I've found that this gets more detailed the more you do it.
As you watch this person, they begin to move towards you, smiling, filled with warmth and an understanding of your uncertainty. They radiate peace and love, and their eyes say to you that you are safe here.
This person knows you have questions, they know you have doubts. That is why they've come, they are here to listen, to perhaps answer your questions, they are here to ease your doubts. And deep down you know this person, and this person knows you.
Before you can ask this person the questions you have, you watch as they reach out with their hand and gently touch you, and where before you were a spark of consciousness, a ball of light... you are now the person who came here to see you. This person is you and you are them. You are both the same.
How do you feel? Move around your place and explore the way you feel in this form , how does it interact with things in your place, how do you feel when you see yourself? Take as long as you like with this bit, while not strictly the purpose of the exercise, I've found it to be a very freeing experience.
You return to the person who is now ready to answer your questions. They tell you that you can talk to them about anything and they will offer whatever advice they are able. So you begin to free yourself of your questions and doubts with this person, who listens patiently to everything you have to say. Do they answer you? What do they say? You may be surprised here, it's not always what you think you're going to hear. Just go with it.
You can talk to this person for as long as you wish. They don't judge you. They have only love and peace and a desire for your wellbeing. You feel totally at ease and free to say anything you want, to ask anything you want. And when you finish talking with this person, and tell them you are ready to leave, the person who is you and you are them, they tell you that as long as you believe in yourself, as long as you remember this moment, and who you are now, you will have the inner strength to affect whatever changes you desire within your life.
You walk slowly back through the doorway, filled with peace and love and the knowledge that you can come to this place any time you choose. And every time you want to return, you find it easier, you have only to think of the sensations this place, and the person you met here, the person who is you, and you will start to relax and your mind will start to calm. You have only to remember the safety and the knowledge you gained in this place from the person you met here, the person who is you, and you will start to feel a strength inside you, a strength to be the person you are in this place.
Now you begin to climb the staircase, still filled with the peace and love you found in your place, the knowledge you gained from the person who is you.
Take a step upwards. Step one. You feel full of purpose. You know your place is always there and you can return at any time.
Take a step upwards. Step two. The door behind you begins to close. Slowly. You feel centred. You know who you are and you know what you want.
Take a step upwards. Step three. The light from your place recedes and the door closes further still. You no longer feel afraid. You feel only peace and certainty. You begin to hear the faint sound of your breathing.
Breathe in... Take a step upwards. Step four. The doorway to your place has closed behind you, waiting for you, whenever you need it. You begin to become aware of the world around you.
Breathe out... stillness... breathe in... take a step upwards. Step five. You feel purposeful. You feel renewed.
Breathe out... stillness... breathe in... take a step upwards. Step six. You can see the top of the staircase now. You can see what you have to do to effect the changes you desire.
Breathe out... stillness... breathe in... take a step upwards. Step seven. You're almost there, you feel lighter now, like a weight has been lifted from you. You feel invigorated.
Breathe out... stillness... breathe in... take a step upwards. Step eight. The sound of your breaths are getting louder still, you begin to become aware of your heartbeat.
Breathe out... stillness... breathe in... take a step upwards. Step nine. You begin to feel your limbs, slowly flexing your fingers and toes.
Breathe out... stillness... breathe in... take a step upwards. Step ten. You open your eyes and look around.
Well... that's about it. Like I say, it's something that helps me so... hopefully it will help you too, and if not... sorry for wasting your time.
