Detransitioning

[kimberrrly]

Hi Inside on the Outside... that is a beautifull post.
How are you related to Tg issues I wonder?

[Gabby]

I wanted to make a short video saying thanks for all y'all have done for me... Your advice and insight has been such a valuable resource for me... and has helped me greatly =)

Vanna first and foremost you are gorgeous.

And I completely understand your thoughts about detransitioning even though I 've only just started this time, but it's "this time" it's happened before too varying levels and I'm alot older than you   but this is the thing it's always from a complete europhic understanding of my condition.  I never get that from thoughts of being male, never that euphoric feeling it's a kind of yeah this is cool or so much easier to live as a male like you say due to clothes or whatever.

[Lacey Lynne]

I think one thing to remember in all this is that SRS does not make you a women (or a man, if you're on the other side of the spectrum!). What it does do is physically and irreparably alter your body. For some people, this is a total gift and something they fully accept. For others, they have second thoughts. And for some, they decide that they can be who they are with little to no alterations at all.

No matter what anyone might tell you, living your life how you want and how you feel most comfortable can take many different forms. There's not a specific method or path you have to be following (as others have mentioned).

The people you meet or get close to that get to know you (not just know your appearance or an act you put on for the world) are the people you want in your life. Not those that would judge you. Let go of that, "I wonder what they think of me" that's pulling you down. You can continue to live as you have been without SRS, you can stop taking HRT and see how you feel ... there are many options available to you.

To insideontheoutside:

Whoever you are, I offer you a hale and hearty salute of complete respect!   These are the wisest words, bar none, that I've seen on these forums to date.  Rock ON!

   Lacey Lynne

[Carlita]

lol sorry, but no way that's a boy in that video

That is SO TRUE!!

Vanna, sweetheart, you are so pretty, so delicate, so utterly feminine in your voice, your gestures and the whole way you carry yourself - right down to saying you cried yourself to sleep at night ... I think you have the reverse problem to most of the girls on here. You will never have to worry about passing as a woman ... but I cannot imagine how you would ever pass as a man.

I can't possibly tell you what to think, still less what to do. You must absolutely make the choices that feel truest and most comfortable to you ... but speaking purely for myself, when I see that You Tube clip, I see a beautiful woman and I'm sure that anyone else who saw it would feel just the same. And I can't help but feel that whatever emotions you may be feeling now, all of which I totally respect, your nature and your destiny are surely both female.

[VannaSiamese]

Aww thank you all for your kind and thoughtful posts =)  Everyone here has been so nice to me... it's truly much more than I deserve.  InsideOnTheOutside really offered some insightful words.  All of you are completely right though... I need to quit caring about what people think.  I have been so outgoing recently, meeting people, hanging out with old friends and exploring more of the city.  I realize that it has nothing to do with genders, it has to do with me... and now that I think about it, I had a similar anxiety as a boy.  The challenge will be not making myself care about what others think... and I doubt I will ever completely accomplish that... but I do believe I can greatly diminish the feeling.  I think I've made great progress so far, just dressing more neutral, not wearing makeup, not spending much time on my appearance in general.  I do like to dress up, and I do like to try to look nice, but I'm usually not doing it for myself... I'm doing it for the way others perceive me.  It's been weeks now since I've worn makeup and it really feels amazing... I've freed up so much time and also helped let go of some anxieties I have.  A month ago, I would have never posted a video after I woke up from a nap that I cried myself into, without fixing my hair or putting on makeup, changing my cloths and so forth.  I honestly didn't even think about my appearance, but rather I thought about the sincerity of the message and how to get my gratitude across.  I realize now, after reading all your kind comments and compliments, that it doesn't take major upkeep for y'all to see who I truly am... or anyone to see for that matter... it just takes being myself, being happy, comfortable and sincere with others. 
I can't help but think back to my original post, how I debated if I should even post or not.  I feel like had I not made the post, I potentially would have made a huge mistake.  I was about to begin living my life for somebody else, or rather, everyone else except me.  I was about to revert back to the first 23 years of my life... and although in the short run it may have been easier... the long run would have proven a much different outcome.  I am beginning to finally find peace within myself, and I thank you all =)

[insideontheoutside]

To insideontheoutside:

Whoever you are, I offer you a hale and hearty salute of complete respect!   These are the wisest words, bar none, that I've seen on these forums to date.  Rock ON!

   Lacey Lynne

Thank you! Also thank you Birgitta too. I'm just one of those people who decided that they can be who they are with little to no alterations at all. Took a long time and it's still not 100% - I have my up and down days still but I've found a way that works for me to live in my own skin and be happy about it.

And Vanna I'm glad you're beginning to find a peace within yourself. I hope you can get to the 100% point someday too!

[LifeInNeon]

Glad to hear you've broken through that appearance obsession barrier Vanna.

For all the help you've gotten here, you've given just as much whether you realize it or not.