Just wanted to tell you that you did well not to break your silence, as ironically, your mother was doing exactly what creates the need for the demonstration anyway. Do not worry about her stabs about you feeling oppressed - she's lashing out at what she doesn't understand, for one, and for two, she's right: you probably do feel oppressed (if for no other reason than her attitude, though we know there are many more) and you do find comfort hanging out with others who get that - a natural human tendency. So really, however hurtful it may have been, all of her actions only served to underscore your entire point.
Apart from that, don't give up your mom just yet; you have a long way to go before that would be necessary. Many parents - even generally open-minded ones - behave this way when they're acting out of fear. It's a defense mechanism. That doesn't make it right, but it can give you an insight into why she's acting the way she is.
I've seen many conservative, even bigoted parents come to accept their trans children, and chances are that yours will too. The best thing you can do to facilitate that is remain patient and compassionate while you take care of your needs and find ways to assert them constructively. You'll make things a lot easier on yourself if you approach her from the standpoint of working together to achieve a mutual understanding. Your counselor, whom you're lucky to have access to, can probably help you with that.
Your mom almost certainly meant it when she said she'd always love you; what she has in front of her is an opportunity to expand that capacity. Don't hesitate to remind her of that promise if you need to! It may put things in perspective for her.
I know you were ranting, not asking for advice - but I can't resist reaching out to a youth in a tough spot (I guess that's why I spend two hours a week advising a youth group). I hope this is helpful. Keep reaching out!
Namaste,
Steven
http://transactionsblog.tumblr.com
