this has sickened me to no end reading these stories how adults, teachers, principals and parents actually blame the kid getting bullied. a small child even for repeatedly getting physically, verbally assaulted you name it. why the hell would that be the victims fault ever?! if a teacher pretty much abuses a student to make other kids hate them, they should not only get their teaching license (if they have licenses to teach) taken away but they shouldn't be allowed around kids ever. period. this is completely unacceptable human behavior for little kids, teenagers and especially adults who should know better yet it's always happening and always has.
I'm kind of sure I've mentioned a little on this site that I've been bullied and how. but in case it wasn't detailed... i have never really been understood. from preschool til late high school i was either completely ignored, shunned or bullied. for what? here's my guesses though there's no use trying to understand the mind of someone who would treat a fellow human being this way.
i had short hair since age 4
i wore my brothers hand me downs, not because we were poor but because i liked his clothes more
even when i did wear girls clothes i didn't look right in it and wasn't comfortable.
i never acted like a girl
i didn't really like playing 'girl' kind of games (house, tea, such and such) but wasn't allowed to play with the boys, girls have to play with other girls apparently. well I've recently remembered why my mom was paranoid about that but...there's no way I'm telling what happened to me to cause her to be deathly afraid of me being around boys as a kid since i don't remember it that well. only in pieces. for good reason. *shudders* it's upsetting enough.
i never talked to anyone. ever. not just shy but reeeeeally shy. i was either afraid of talking to people, because i was afraid of some people, they were intimidating, loud noises startle me too easily even to this day, loud booming voices scare me. or i just had nothing to say and didn't talk out of lack of interest. come to think of it, now that I've remembered a lot of stuff from childhood i had buried for many years, that lack of social skills was due to my probable autism. i have to say probable because i haven't gone to a specialist to get a real diagnosis yet but i can't see any other reason. yes people are ->-bleeped-<-s and of course your not going to talk to people who treat you bad and it makes sense to shield yourself from all people when you first meet them because of bad experiences but, I've just been very very different socially. the more research I've done on autism the more i find in common with them, i have pretty much all the same behaviors and mannerisms as them.
all of these things made me really weird and someone that had to be avoided lest the "normal" kids catch the weird so when a teacher or whoever forced kids to include me, in class projects, recess, the bus, they were mean to me, glaring at me, yelling at me, saying stuff like "you better not ever play with us EVER AGAIN!!" i remember kids staying at clear opposite ends of the room that i was in to avoid me like the freakin plague. they were that afraid of me just because i was quiet and soft spoken i guess. I've been shoved around sometimes pushed to the ground because i was walking too slow and they wanted me out of their way, or they just saw me as an easy target because I was smaller and younger and they could. there was one girl i was friends with for a short time who i think was physically abused at home (i remember once when her mom came to get her, her baby sister had bruises on her face and this girl herself became so rigid and quiet even the other kids knew something was wrong) this girl eventually physically beat me, a few times, every time but once while laughing maniacally. smiling and everythinglike that was normal and funny. it obviously never occurred to her that that isn't normal behavior, all i could say was "ow." real softly but i told no one about it. why? i barely existed and she was way bigger than me, hell most everyone was. that really says something about how well you run a school when a kid in the first grade knows nothing will be done to help them if they're physically beaten. a lot of kids were bullied and all that was done was a "stop doing that, be nice to the other kids." then it got worse for the nark. i think from late grade school on until high school most people were nice except random jackasses in halls that didn't have me in any classes, said stupid obnoxious things. but high school was absolute hell. i was even more shy, alone all the time and even more invisible since i was all confused about who i was ,why i hated my body. i wore really gender neutral, loose clothing to hide my chest and i either got weird creeped out stares or was called lesbian or that horrible f word that rhymes with maggot every single day by this group, they sometimes got other people to join them on repeatedly taunting me until i cried. so there was about 10 15 of them at once. it was just the treatment of what's wrong with you? you don't belong anywhere, we all hate you kind of vibe with those ->-bleeped-<- eating grins and they laughed relentlessly until i attempted suicide by early junior year. that...sort of made it stop...but not really. i told a school counselor so a few of them amped it up and kept taunting me more than before, calling me the same names either mumbling it in my ear or yelling it from down the hall for a few more weeks but some just stayed the hell away from me after that. then a couple months later i joined a track team where the whole team was really nice except a couple who were stuck up and mean to mostly everyone and i made friends and it was all up from there. well no more bullying anyway.
