FYI, I use Dood as the prinnies do in the Disgaea videogame series: it's unisexed, as are the prinnies themselves.
I'm Devian Michaels. Or at least I will be once I get the money to change my name. I'm 22 and only recently came out to myself as something other than "not a girl," since I was brought up in a strict Christian home that enforced the gender roles. Still kinda does, without as much religion...
Erm...I asked a question on Yahoo! Answers and was sent to this site, so...okay, hi everyone, I'm the new guy.
I'm an Ft(not quite)M. I say not quite, since I am FAR too flamboyant for most traditional FtMs. I am pre-everything, and type in stream of consciousness, so forgive me if I'm hard to follow...I tend to do the "ooo, shiny! *mind wanders into la la land*" thing.
So...right, um, I've found the best way to explain my gender identity is to watch Project Runway. The guys on there are so flamboyant. Really, I would like to emulate my friend, Neon, who is a gay man, but is not afraid to wear makeup and do his hair in feminine styles, and occasionally wear women's clothing, though not in a cross-dressing style, more like making the women's clothing more masculine by wearing it? I talked to him and asked him how he knew he was supposed to be a gay man and not a straight woman (since I was under the impression for a while that you had to be straight to be trans) and he said that he just knew he was a gay man. Which made sense to me, cuz I know I'm attracted to the male gender, whether born or trans, including gay men (especially!) and even some more masculine/butch women.
I've known I wasn't a "girl" basically since puberty. In elementary school, I played with the boys, went bug hunting, stole my brothers scientific gadgets and boy stuff, and apparently asked my dad when I was going to grow a thing like his (yikes! try explaining THAT to a 3-year-old!). I did play with baby dolls a bit, but i was always the daddy. When I was 5, I started blowing up my barbies. I told my parents I lost them, but I'd take them to a neighborhood kid who like to blow stuff up (in hindsight, I REEEEEEEEEEALLY hope he isn't a serial killer...). But the ones I didn't blow up my sister got, and any time they had a ball or prom or a wedding, I did the hair for them and played ken with my sister.
Flash forward to about 4 years ago (cuz I'm tired and don't feel like explaining puberty...it sucked) I dated a transman who explained the gender binary and that there were some outside of it, although I didn't find a lot of reputable information on that subject. Due to family issues, I closeted my "not-girl" self, deeming it unimportant, and went on to live a very girly life, getting on birth control, dealing with pregnancy scares and boyfriends, and never feeling right, always feeling like something was missing. Then this past summer, I brought it back up with a roommate, the first person I talked to about it in 4 years. He and I kinda had a thing, and he was supportive, at first, but he's a straight man and I'm...well, I'm not a woman, so rather than accept me as a man, he still thinks of me as a woman, probably to assure himself that he's not gay...I've spoken to a few male exes who want to know if I've had surgery, and heave a sigh of relief that one of their exes "wasn't a man," even though I tell them that is exactly what I am...
Like I said before, I'm pre-everything, even pre-coming out to most of my family (who doesn't accept the fact that I am a female attracted to females...). I have come out to my sister and almost came out to my step-dad during a political debate, but felt it would have pushed his buttons a little too hard, and just acknowledged that I like some women, though I am primarilly attracted to men (regardless of what is in their pants). My sister is cool with it, but I'm waiting till the grandparents die until I come out to my mom. unfortunately, it's not looking like it'll be too much longer...
I'm hoping I may be able to get on T from my doctor, since I can't afford a GT...they gave me girl hormones, why not boy ones? Yeah, I know, controversial issue.
I'm one credit away from graduating with a degree in linguistics, although the one language course I took with the degree, I failed...ASL, which is my second language I've been learning since I was 2...anyway, once I get that degree, I'm gonna try and get my CNA and work for the local VA hospital or clinic while working towards a bachelors in nursing so I can join the Peace Corps or UNICEF, or some other humanitarian aid organization to help sick people in underprivileged countries.
Yeah...before I start typing about the pink and purple polka-dotted fuzzy flying elephants jumping over the fence, I'm off to dream land ^_^ oh, and my question on Y!A was about how NOT to get razor burn when shaving, cuz this crap STINGS!!!!! I've been lathering my face with moisturizer all night...didn't sting this bad on my legs...
