This is a very interesting topic, because I love to analyse things from an intellectual point of view. (Even as a child, I was always the "Why?" bird.)
Why is it that we often present a female vibe (energy, aura... personally, I prefer the term aura), even when we're trying to present as males? I beieve that the answer is just the same as has been said many times, that whether we are showing off our true form to the world (something I have only done once, and it was kind of a rushed instance) or trying to make the rest of society happy by fulfilling our birth gender roles, the fact is that the true side of us comes out whether we like it or not, we can try to supress it, but you cannot wholly supress what makes you an individual without losing that individuality forever, and if you lose that, then you're no longer a human, you're something more akin to a worker ant.
Individuality is what makes humanity great, if we were all exactly the same, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? Just think, there would be no music, literature, movies, or art of any form, there would be no scientists or teachers, we would all work office jobs or something, seperated into our own little cubicles, there would be no bosses because of the fact that that would give someone individuality due to their position above others, so what exactly would we do?
Anyway, back to the topic. The truth is, our feminine aura, our vibe of femininity, is visible to any who take the time to look hard enough at us. We always project it, whether we want to or not, and the more we try to surpress it, the more we try to capture it in our palms and hide it, the more chance it has of slipping through our fingers.
Quote from: Bev on January 14, 2007, 09:26:42 PM
During transition, even though I presented as male, I have had many acknowledging nods or smiles from lesbian couples or individuals.
This reminds me of something that happened to me one night at the club I usually go to on Sundays (I didn't go tonight because it snowed earlier, and it's probably going to again before the night's over.) At the club, I mostly present as semi-androgynous, because of the fact that I don't really want to let Raye loose there, at least not yet. There is a lesbian couple that I often see out on the dance floor, and sometimes I just watch them and admire how beautiful they look together, or imagine what it would be to be like them, to have a girlfriend of my own, and have the rest of the club just sort of melt away into non-existance, just be me (as Raye, of course), my girlfriend, and the music. Well, one night, I went out to the smoking patio to see who was there (I don't smoke cigarettes, I smoke cloves, and very rarely, as I very rarely have the money for them after shopping), and there was the taller one of the couple. (the one I identify most with, she's usually dressed in a schoolgirl outfit of sorts) We got to talking, and during the conversation, she said that she felt something that she'd never felt in a guy, something that made her strangely attracted to me, and that was the reason why she had decided to talk to me. This, I think, was my feminine aura that she felt, the part of Raye that will always show, no matter how hard I try to supress it. Anyway, now that I have done another essay-length post, it is time I retreat to my bed.
Good Night,
Raye
