What an important subject. Compromise? Well, let's see. Like most of us I've been gender dysphoric forever. I was slow in relationships, but had sort of a common law marriage in the mid 1970s with G. She knew about it early on. At least she knew what I knew. We were together for 3 years, and I really don't think the break-up was gender related, just 2 people not getting along good enough to stay together.
I met C in the early 1980s, again shared with her, again at least what I knew. We married in 1983. We thought at the time and I swallowed the nonsense and self-delusion that I could change.
Of course I couldn't, and didn't.
At that point we played it as just cross-dressing, fit into a busy schedule with kids (hers.) As I seriously investigated ->-bleeped-<- in the early 2000s, and I determined that it was not cross-dressing, rather appropriate gender-role dressing, and that I was horridly wired wrong (or rather, horridly facaded wrong, that is the point where serious compromise had to start. Support group, therapy, hormone therapy, then full-time all provided further points of sexual stress and identity challenge to her.
So, I get my issues identified and addressed; she gets more of them, with no way to resolve them inside the relationship. She is completely hetrosexual; we probably will not ever have a physical relationship again. I'm working out what I am - I suspect bi, but with no history. I do know that I believe if you have a vagina, it should have a penis in it at times. (Sorry if that's over the top.) And I also know that the brain is the most important sex organ. My brain seems to covet penises.
I can see why spouses split or even throw the mate out. Yet, with GRS less than 6 weeks away, we remain married. I think the big compromise is that the friendship can survive the sexual loss. We will see if it is strong enough to survive probable sexual partner replacement.
