Tad Bit Frustrated.

[Vince1995]

Ready for my rant? Be prepared for a lot of reading.

Ok. I came out last year around the beginning of January.
Obviously, my mom didn't accept that or didn't understand it at all.
I think she is slowly coming around now, but.
When I correct her to He, or anything in that way, she goes, "I don't have to call you whatever I don't want to. I don't have to call you a guy. I am the parent and you are the child. You can't tell me what to call you until you are 18."
That enrages me to the max.
Than I ask her to call me Vince, than ask her why she won't, which she replies with, "I hate the name Vince, its so stupid. I won't call you that."
She wants me to name myself Kelly, after her deceased brother, which I understand, but I don't feel right being Kelly.
Its really getting on my nerves.
Then when I ask her why she can call my friends Tokio and Terran by their proper pronouns and names, she goes, "I don't even know WHAT they are.", using harsher words. "To me, they are an "it"." She also started calling me an "it" or "child" til my counselor for my depression and PTSD got after her for it.

My brother.
I told him first that I was a transgender, after I had came out to my friend.
He said he was fine with it.
It was okay for a bit, til I tried correcting him to say Him, and he flipped out.
"You are not a guy, you are a GIRL."
I would also say to him, "He" and he would just scream, "SHE!"
I told him he needs to be respectful and call me a guy, but he screams at me that I don't deserve respect.
Note: He is a sexist.
When my counselor had a family meeting instead of individual at our house, she asked him why he won't call me a guy.
His response was, "I'm perfectly fine with other transgenders, just not HER being one." Added emphasis on Her.
He is pretty rude to me all the time.
He has also told me to check between my legs, as has my ex BF.

Him and my mother both start huge fights/arguments with me about being transgender.
We cant afford a gender specialist, and the health insurance doesn't cover it. :/

What do I do?
I am already suicidal, and almost killed myself the other night, but I called a suicide hot line.
I mean, I know others have it way worse than me, but I can't deal with another two years of this junk.
Also, my brother is SMI, so he can not leave home to live on his home, unless my mom sends him to this home who will take care of him.
Help me. :/

[JohnR]

The SMI explains your brother's need to maintain the status quo.

[Vince1995]

He only has SchizoTypal Disorder.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder

It really is only him believing he is a mythical creature.

[JohnR]

He only has SchizoTypal Disorder.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal_personality_disorder

It really is only him believing he is a mythical creature.

With wings and everything?


Do you think your Mum may be reluctant to acknowledge your transition because she wants at least one "normal" child? Some, not all, mothers see transitioning as a slight against themselves and enjoy feeling as though they are somehow to "blame"

[Vince1995]

I don't know.
One time he was a centaur, than a vampire, than werewolf, than a dracowerepyre, and now a dracowerepyre alien.

I don't know about my mom either.

[sascraps]

Oh man, sorry you're going through all that. I know what you mean though. I'm 34 and my family still has the idea that they are my elders, and thus, my superiors, and they will forever have the ultimate authority over me. It enrages me to the max too! I hope things can get better for you. How long until you're 18? 

[Vince1995]

About 2 more years.
Plus a couple months til I'm 18.

[Anon]

I'm sorry to hear your family is choosing to act like that dude. ): Your brother sounds a lot like mine with all the disrespect and derogatory comments - I know mine never misses a chance to point out something feminine about me, but thankfully he doesn't live with me or think he's a mythical creature...just a genius. As for your mom, do you think she'll relax over time? Does she at any time show willingness to discuss your issues in a civilized manner?

You said you have a counselor - I'm not sure how things work in the states, but wouldn't your counselor be able to help you medically transition? Definitely keep letting him/her in on the situation with your mom/brother, maybe some more group sessions are in order over time.

I generally don't suggest leaving your home in case you won't be getting back in (happened to me more than once), but is there somewhere you can go to hang out if your fam is too much, just for a little while? If not, just invest in a good pair of headphones..hang in there man, it gets better someday. The haters are just making themselves look even more foolish in the end.

[Da Monkey]

I am probably going to say a bunch of things you don't want to hear but...

Why push it on them?

You're family just isn't going to get it because they don't want to get it. And probably the only reason why you even do is because you are going through it. I am betting when most of us heard of trans people our first thoughts were of 'a man in drag'. That sounds awful now, right? But that is probably the negative things your family thinks of and they don't want to believe that someone so close to them is in 'that' category.

I know it's hard not to take it so personally because they're your family but you can't expect them to automatically understand that you feel male even though it is so obvious for you it isn't for them. And when you correct them they explode like that because it makes them defensive, embarrassed, confused and very uncomfortable.

I am only saying these things because if you keep pushing it on them the more and more it will hurt you. It's best if you act like it's no big deal, nothing has changed about you, and you're still the same person and act maturely about it they might grow to accept you as a son and brother.

I never came out to any of my family and when I was living with my mom she was forcing it out almost every day and I just gave simple answers and never went on about it. She would say things like "well I am not ever going to call you Jay" and I would say "that's fine, when did I ever ask you to? I am not doing this for you". It was almost as if she was dying to talk about it just so she could shut me out. That was almost 3 years ago. Now? She just paid for my chest surgery. Does she call me Jay? Hahah, no. But clearly she has her own way of accepting me.

That is just my outlook on it...

[Vince1995]

JayUnit, Honey, I don't try and push it on them. I correct them.

Also, I don't expect them to get it automatically,  its the fact that they don't even try.
I do act maturely about it dearie.

And I obviously AM going to take it personally, well, because it has to do with me, and me..well....personally. You can't just expect me to listen to their crap and their degrading. Why does everyone try and get me NOT to stick up for myself? Everyone says to stand up for what you believe in but it obviously doesn't work anymore. So I'll just take their verbal abuse. Thanks for the advice.