Smiling

[Arch]

Pretransition, I apparently disturbed some people because I didn't smile much. For example, when I took a small weekend class that was equally populated by men and women, the instructor zoomed in on me and asked if I was bored. In fact, I was fascinated and was having the time of my life, but I wasn't smiling. I couldn't see everyone in the classroom because I was in the front row on one side of a split classroom, but the guys I saw all had similar neutral expressions on their faces, whereas the women I saw had sort of polite semi-smiles. I guess I was the odd man out. I had an ex who ragged on me about this, too.

I've always had a neutral expression when I listen to people except when they say something amusing. I've had people stop in the middle of a conversation with me and ask me if anything is wrong. Maybe they were expecting a smile. Or maybe they were just picking up on my dysphoria.

[Yakshini]

Maybe it is just a matter of psychology, but I can't stand going periods of time without seeing someone smile or without smiling myself. I have depression, and just seeing other people smile makes me feel good, so I'll go out of my way to make everyone else happy just for the smiles. I once watched a movie called Wristcutters: A Love Story, and in this movie anyone who kills themselves ends up in an afterlife much like Earth, but worse. There are no stars, no flowers, and nobody is physically able to smile. Not seeing a smile just for the time through the movie made me so depressed.
I have quite a bit of flesh on my face for someone pre-T, and it really shows when I smile. But I look just like my dad when I smile. Whether or not it impairs my ability to pass, I'm not going to stop smiling just to like a tiny bit more masculine. If you already look pretty male, smiling isn't going to be the thing that gives you away.

[Arch]

One of my therapists used to "put on his therapy face," as I like to call it. He would have the same polite half-smile that I've seen on some women who were trapped by men at a social gathering when they really wanted to get away but had been trained to be polite unless the guy was being completely crude.

[Dominick_81]

I've heard people talk about this before.  Personally, I don't know if smiling makes me pass less, but I will not stop smiling, even if it does.  I think it's ridiculous that men aren't "supposed" to smile.  I have absolutely zero interest in being a stern, impolite, macho man who never smiles.

I totally agree.  I know guys who smile all the time. Smiling is not a male or female thing. It's something we all do.

[Brent123]

I tend to smile a lot. Its just my nature. I don't know that it hinders my passing but honestly, I'm not too worried about it. I'd rather look happy then depressed. Plus, smiling makes me feel better. Remember, it is the best medicine. 

[N.Chaos]

I usually look very serious (people have commented on this), with an apparantly unreadable expression.

Similar thing with me, apparently, I tend to look either blank or pissed off unless I'm outright talking. I spent a lot of my childhood/early teens suffocating down visual emotions, so it's damn near impossible to break that. I don't know if smiling has ever hindered my passing, but I know laughing might sometimes. When I get laughing really hard, I break out this ridiculous thing we call The Crack Laugh. I can't even explain it, but it's so hilarious I can't even get pissed about it, and I don't think it's every happened out in public. For whatever reason, I'm really uncomfortable laughing a lot (or even talking much, for that matter) in public.

[Radar]

Boys/men on the other hand, are according to Tannen much more concerned with status. Males are very aware that they live in a status conscious world. There are Alpha males, Beta males, Delta males, Gamma males and those at the bottom of the hierarchy.   How can you tell where you are in this hierarchy? It is simple the more people you take cheek, abuse and orders from the lower your status is. Boys have to constantly test each other to see you will obey them and who will not. If a low ranked male won't do what you say then you have slipped in the hierarchy. That is why teen boys are always calling each other names like '->-bleeped-<-', 'gaylord', 'bitch' and indulging in faux aggressive horseplay. They are signalling to each other that any attempt to push them down in the hierarchy will be not be tolerated.
Men are very conscious of either being 'one-up' or 'one-down' when dealing with each other. A male who smiles is saying 'I openly acknowledge your higher social rank.  Please don't push me, or swear at me or beat me up.  Look see how submissive I am.' No self respecting male wants to appear weak, passive and submissive so he never shows signs of submission i.e. smiling.

This describes me so well it's not funny. In the male world smiling- to another guy anyway- can show weakness. It's different if you're joking around or laughing about something. There are hierarchies and they're always being tested.

I've never smiled much, especially to strangers. People have even complained about it. I too am told I look serious alot. It's just how I am.

[kyril]

Similar thing with me, apparently, I tend to look either blank or pissed off unless I'm outright talking. I spent a lot of my childhood/early teens suffocating down visual emotions, so it's damn near impossible to break that. I don't know if smiling has ever hindered my passing, but I know laughing might sometimes. When I get laughing really hard, I break out this ridiculous thing we call The Crack Laugh. I can't even explain it, but it's so hilarious I can't even get pissed about it, and I don't think it's every happened out in public. For whatever reason, I'm really uncomfortable laughing a lot (or even talking much, for that matter) in public.

Me too - if I'm not actively smiling or laughing, I look blank, "too serious," depressed, something. At least I did in girl mode. Haven't had anyone tell me that since I started being read as a guy.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I smile all the time, and the only thing that's ever made me want to stop has been people telling me to "Smile!"

Does it hinder my passing? Maybe. It did pre-T. But...well, I just don't care. I'm transitioning to fix my body, not to fix what's going on in other people's heads.

This is really similar to my thoughts and feelings on it all.

I smile a lot more now that I'm transitioning and on T than I did before.  I'm a lot happier with myself.  It doesn't seem to hinder my passing much it seems. 

[Nikolai_S]

I only automatically smile when I'm amused by something or very pleased about something (as in, seeing my dogs after being away for a week). I'll force it for the sake of politeness when thanking people and such, or smile slightly when I think it may be socially appropriate. The rest of the time I look serious, blank, depressed, or angry -even when I'm happy. Smiling does make me look more feminine, as it emphasises the fat in my cheeks, but it usually hasn't been a problem because it's so rare an occurrence.

It's probably more physical appearance, but the situation may influence it. Smiling when joking around or getting excited about something is one thing, constantly smiling politely while someone else is talking is another - women do that a lot. I rarely see men do the same.

[xAndrewx]

I have to smile at my job and in my case I've noticed less people read me as male when I'm smiling a real smile. When I do the smirk thing that I've always naturally done I get read as male more often. Will that stop me from smiling? No but honestly it's more natural for me to not smile than it is for me to actually smile.