Quote from: Sad Girl on April 19, 2011, 12:21:23 PM
Hell YEAH! Some even go up to saying. 'I can't do it with you, "YOU'RE A MAN!".
i read a lot of your posts seemed we have similar experiences however i am not sure if this is correct in thinking, but are you telling them right away or waiting. Is it your intention to have sex with these men before your relationship reaches a point of maturity, if so, then the result is understandable because they have no bond with you.
Every successful woman that i know of that was born with TS got their guy (PRE-OP mind you in a lot of cases) using a method similar to the one that was taught to me. Its the safest way I know of but isnt based around sleeping around but building a relationship. Here are the steps, i don't know if you tried them but its worth a try:
Date 1) During your date tell them your not interested in sex before marriage (even if you don't mean it, say it). After the date if he calls back hes interested in you not just a quickie.
Date 2) During your date mention that you cannot have kids. If he asks why just say its a touche subject and you dont want to talk about its something that has been hard for you to deal with in the past, if he continues whip up some tears, its pretty easy for me since i am already sad i cant have kids they usually leave you alone after that as they don't want to ruin the date, or maybe they even console you which is even better. If they call you back for a 3d date they are not only interested in you as a person, but also ok with the idea of raising a family through adoption or no children.
Date 3+) Date him regularly, have fun together, learn about him as he learns about you and try to form whatever bonds you can. During this period from time to time bring up stuff dealing with LGBT but make sure its weeks/months apart and see how he reacts. For example: On a date you could be talking about various topics and then switch it, hey the girls at the office saw this show on tv about lesbians, gays, and transsexuals, what do you think about that kind of stuff? just make it causual like you dont care what he says. If its neutral or positive great, probe him again later, if its negative, within the next week end the relationship even if its going well. You dont want to risk putting yourself in a bad situation. Just give some excuse like its not you its me or something. That way he assumes you just broke up for relationship reasons and no one knows your background so even if you see him again it wont cause problems to those around you.
Date Serious) If he passes all the other 3 and decides he is ready to step up the relationship, either moving in together or engagement, then its time to disclose the information. I have to say its a 50/50 shot. No guarantees, but if he loves you enough and a bond is formed having understood that your just a woman, and witnessed it for that long, he might just not care, but once again its a 50/50 shot.
Dont take it like its a TS thing, women dont disclose their dark secrets until they fully trust their partners. Anyone woman would save their most intimate secrets for last, you are no exception and in telling those secrets run the risk of losing the relationship, in this way we are no different from anyone else in society.
Some people would think this is a lie or deceit of some kind to the person your with, but that is not the case because for it to be lie someone will have to present a false representation of themselves. You are a woman, you know this, and its what you are so you present your true-self, he also does the same, there is no lie in this relationship, unless you believe yourself to not be a woman.
Anyway, everyone trying that method above has gotten a good man in time, including myself. I am engaged and will be married after my SRS surgery later this year. Heh, in almost 2 years together he has never wanted to see it or touch it, and sees living with TS is just a medical condition that can be fixed with surgery. I asked him if i told him up front if he would have gone out with me, he said "HELL NO!". This is common to the stories i hear similar to mine from TS folks i know IRL, that have gotten married / engaged to straight partners.
