Not fun. Why would it be. I hated the whole thought of it, I'd still not be female, not really, only ever in costume, that I would be somewhere in the middle, one which is unacceptable by most people, a freak, an abomination in their eyes, it was scary, but this is what I had to do, but this was the only thing that would make me feel better about myself, I went for it. For some there'd be very little changes externally, for me it took a few years before I noticed that my body had changed quite a bit, much more than I thought, especially when comparing how I looked before that in old photographs, but moreso than physical would be how it affect you mentally, if this is what you really want, then I would think there'd be none or very little doubts about continuing down this road. If you do have doubts, then you most certainly should talk to someone about it, someone qualified and sensitive about these kind of things, you certainly don't want someone who'll confuse you more than you already feel, a good starter is that you are here talking about it with others that are in similar predicaments, many of us have gone or are continuing to go through the same experiences, its not easy I tell you that. But you know, now I look back and think, its not so bad being me, okay so I'm not a real girl (still wish and always will wish that I were, but most wishes don't come true, whole reality of life), but I feel that I am a better human being than most anyone else who isn't transgender, being male most of my life made it so that I knew what it was like to be a man (I still hate it) so I understand men, how they think and act, and also because of hormones and living a decade of my life as a woman, though not as a genetically born female (and still not with the appropriate parts), I've come to understand women more too, I feel, at least better than most that I have clear views on both genders, can relate to and sympathize with both, most that are clearly rooted with only their own gender cannot, men don't understand women, women can't understand men, and there'll always be barriers related to such. I'm happy with me, I have a good mind, I like who I am as a person, just hate some of the other parts, but not going to let that stop me from being me. If you don't feel right as either gender, then find a middle ground that you feel comfortable in, and don't let anyone get to you, you are who you are inside regardless of what you are in appearance, go with that and you'll be okay, take some time to understand yourself.
