Hello! Even though I have made several posts here, I havent really introduced myself or have given a brief history concerning my desire to Crossdress. I would like to do so now. As you can see, my femm name is Salina. When I was around 4yrs old, my aunt wanted to make a dress for my cousin, Carolin, but wasn't sure of the size. Well, since I was basically the same size as my cousin, I was used as the model. Of course, I don't remember any of this, but my mother told me years later that I didn't want to take the dress off. When I was 2 or 3, I was told I wouldnt go to sleep unless I could hold on to one of my mothers slips, again, I dont remember. However, at the age of nine, I was staying with my grand parents along with my younger brother. I asked my grandmother one day if I could run around in one of her slips, she said yes. My brother did also but never took to it like I did. I asked the next day if I could wear her slip again and she gave it to me. I believe that was the start of my Crossdressing. Years later, after my grandfather passed away, my grandmother came to live with us. I would try on some of her old clothes, ie: dresses, slips and skirts. I never told my parents nor my grandmother about this but it is my feeling that my grandmother may have suspected something cause she never said anything negative when I brought up the subject a couple of times about me wanting to be a girl.
At the age of 16, my mother found a long, silk, yellow night gown that I had worn to bed the night before and I tossed into my closet before going to school. She was upset and asked me if I needed psychiatric counseling. That was the last time I tried anything on for years. However, I never did loose the desire to wear dresses or skirts or even lingerie, even thru my college days or while in the military. Everytime I see a woman with a really nice skirt or dress on, I would wish I could wear one like that and what it would look like on me? While driving one day, I saw a women walking down the street with a nice red dress on, my girlfriend, who was with me told me to stop looking . I told her that I wasn't looking at her, I was admiring the dress she had on, but of course, she didn't believe me, to bad to, cause I told her the truth. Anyway, had I known then that what was really going on, that down inside of me, I was a Crossdresser, it would have made things a lot easier on me now. For I would have told my wife before we were married that I was a Crossdresser instead of 24yrs later when I realized it. I thought back before I met my wife that it was a phase and of course, CDing was a big Taboo then. Anyway, around my last 3 years in the military, I started trying on some of my wifes things (secretly) , mostly slips and skirts. Then after retirement, the feeling of dressing got stronger and so did the feeling of wishing I had been born female. It wasn't untill I was 50 that I told my wife I wanted to Crossdress, She didn't understand, of course, but was willing to give it a try, cause she loved me. Here is where I think I messed up? I got hit by the 'pink fog' thing and it eventually got to much for her. She never really approved of it since and to this day does not like it, she even hates it. So after these past ten years, the only time I can really get Dressed is when she will be gone for the day or out of town (which is really rare). All I can do now is underdress and do so in such a way that she wont notice. I have some skirts and blouses and heels stashed away for when she wont be around for the day, but otherwise, I only underdress. I have no desire to transition, eventhough I still wish I could have been born female and even though I love to Dress and feel feminin. Maybe one day I will be able to dress as often as I want and in a manner that I want, and look and be the woman I would like to be, but not right now. Well, thats pretty much my story. Thanks for listening.
