I've read two different posts from two different guys with pretty much the exact same problem. so instead of posting the exact same response in two different threads I'll just start up my own.
i know how anyone reading this feels who is:
single
recently broken up, separated or divorced....well can't say i know what it's like to get divorced but....my parents divorced...and that sucked back in 96'.
the point is, i know what it's like because I and so many others have the same issue, we can't find someone who's attracted to us as the real men that we are just because we don't have "the right parts." so to speak. (plus parts we have that most guys don't as well but duh, you knew this) that does make you feel like crap especially if you really liked them, had a huge crush on this man or woman or was married to/lived with this person for 5, 10, 20 years. but we've all heard stuff like: if a guy gets his *&^# blown off in a war is he not a man anymore? or if a woman gets breast/ovarian/uteran cancer is she not a woman anymore? of course they don't get people saying they're not a "real" man or woman anymore and we whether we believe it or not are no different. as soon as we can believe we're just as much of a man as say....that guy in the old spice commercial haha sorry i just like that commercial it's funny. well no don't compare yourself to anyone ever. you know how you identify. you know your truth it doesn't matter one bit what anyone else thinks, you know your smart, cute unique etc. etc. as long as your sitting around hating everything about yourself, wishing you were born male, that's just negative energy and your going to get nothing but negative results. i know this from experience of making the same mistake for as long as i can remember. it's not like hitting a light switch to go from pessimism to optimism to live a better decent, awesome life for yourself. i prefer awesome if i can get it
but yeah this happens to me a lot i sit around wishing i never had breasts, that i had a penis so the guy i like would be way more likely to be physically attracted to my body not just my personality, i think about how hard the driving test was while taking it and lo and behold i failed, i complain about my job and it's a hassle the whole shift, i get angry or miserable as hell about stupid people or being called the wrong pronouns and wonder why more things happen to make me feel that way. but the moment i take a deep breath, relax, think to myself i can do this or i am good enough, or I AM A REAL MAN JUST LIKE THEM. something better happens. just know, we're all no less than the rest of them we're the same, we are good enough and we are worth it and so is life...and all that jazz. so since there are a lot of men and women that are trans in relationships out there why not us too? there's men and women who will find all of us cute, adorable or absolutely gorgeous someday or soon regardless of how we were born. just state your mantra to yourself over and over so you believe it.
