How many can I dig up?
I fell hopelessly in love at the age of 8, and I drew up a wedding gown, then marvelled at how pretty it was, wondering if I would ever get to wear something like that at my own wedding. Nonsense.
In one of my phases I was caught stealing my moms clothes, we were the same size, and she had the prettiest cocktail dresses. I sat in the bathroom afterwards and thought about how much I was going to miss by closeting myself and choosing to stay physically male.
My first two attempts at sex were incredible failures. I could only give pleasure, it was so weird. Whatever, I proposed to the girl a week later, I love her (my current S.O.) and wanted to keep her. I was 17 and diving into reality in the most emotionally destructive way possible. I knew I would one day transition, if I lived long enough. I figured I should try this life first. Transsexualism buried. Em could come out when she was forty.
270,000 wasted dollars later ( and 8 years), life was still a terribly distressing question with no answer. Seeing no other options I came out, realized the implications, and put myself in
the hospital. Transsexualism surfaced, Em was PI**ED. (Of course I wasnt two people, I was living in two distinctly different realities, however)
I tried the androgyny / cd compromise, and that kind of worked for about two years. I still knew I would transition, it was just a matter of practicality now. When would be the best time? My older brother started going bald, my own facial hair finally became noticable even after a shave- unacceptable, it was time. I broke the news again, and the rest is all around here somewhere. I am simply not a man, never really was. So, no matter how hard this gets, I keep going. I can't imagine not doing this.